Update – WIBTA if I still give my stepson the birthday gift I bought for him despite his mother asking me to hold it off for a month because she knows my gift will upstage hers and she wants to see him enjoy her gift first?

A Reddit user provided an update to a situation involving her stepson’s birthday gift. After initially agreeing to delay the gift to avoid overshadowing his mother’s present, she shared that her gift for him—a horse—arrived late.

Despite her best efforts to respect her co-parent’s wishes, the horse is now ready, and Jack is thrilled with his new companion. The user reflected on the progress of her relationship with her stepson’s mother and the hope that this will help them become closer. For more details on how it all unfolded, read the full update below!

‘ Update – WIBTA if I still give my stepson the birthday gift I bought for him despite his mother asking me to hold it off for a month because she knows my gift will upstage hers and she wants to see him enjoy her gift first?’

Jack celebrated his birthday in September, and as many of you suggested, I told him that I’m sorry but my gift for him was shipped late and would be arriving in two weeks. That way it didn’t look like Kim made me do it, and the two of them had time to enjoy Kim’s gift.

Kim thanked me for understanding her situation and said she is grateful that I was gracious about her request even though we don’t have the best relationship. It’s flattering to read that so many of you think that Joe and I are good people, but of course we aren’t perfect and it took a lot of time for us to be in a civil place with Kim.

It was humbling for Kim to ask me what she did and it also took a lot for me to let her have it. Hopefully this is the beginning of a better relationship for the three of us. For those who are asking, I didn’t put a lot of specific details in my post because I wanted to minimize the risk of being identified by someone I know in real life who might also be participating in this forum.

But since a commenter in my original post already figured it out, yes, I bought Jack a horse. My family has a horse farm so ‘where can you hide a horse for two weeks’ is thankfully not a problem. Jack already met his new partner last week and he is very happy with him! Thank you all for your comments and I wish everyone the best.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Lennysrevenge −  You sure did undersell you gift in your first post! It reads like you’re talking about a hockey stick or something, not a freakin’ horse!. What was Kim’s gift?

predictablePosts −  The first thing I’m gonna say when I get a horse is “wait how is there a 2 week delay on shipping for a horse?”

felinelawspecialist −  Damn. You bought him a HORSE? Yes that is a gift to upstage all others. I’m glad you held off giving it to him for a few weeks. Refusing would have been petty and small.

MissFizzyPants −  As a broke mom who shares custody with the other house having a lot more money I wouldn’t say you would have been TA, but in taking the high road with this matter it would have meant so much to me. It shows you care about making the relationship between the adults calm & healthy so that the child always benefits.

There is no way to put a price on that & kid will benefit from that more than any other gift. Mom should be very thankful that her child has good people who love this kid. ETA: thank you so so much for the gold & silver. Taking time to really focus on what’s best for a healthy relationship between adults so kids benefit is really the best thing a parent can do for them.

[Reddit User] −  Damn, y’all got horses in the back?

donutsandwiches −  I thought it would be hockey equipment lol. But a horse damnnnn. Yeah she wouldn’t have been able to top that at all. It was kind of you to delay revealing your gift.

blueangels111 −  Alright, I was going to say that just because your gift is a bit more expensive, doesn’t mean you should seem worse. But, a HORSE. You bought him a flipping HORSE. That’s insane and you sound absolutely amazing. It’s great that you didn’t give it to him at the same time. That’s the same thing as buying him a car, so it’s all good. Great job, your amazing

Ijustbechillaxing −  Man you are an awesome stepparent!!!! Jack is a lucky dude to have all that love in his life!!!!

FaithCPR −  I knew it! And good job handling it. A literal horse will upstage damn near any gift

[Reddit User] −  A Horse? Yeah, I was on the “wait a little while” side, but I definitely think that was the better option. From what you said his mom would have a hard time competing with your gift, but that’s a whole other level. You definitely did the right thing. I’m happy the two of you worked it out for the best. You all seem like a nice family.

Do you think it was a good decision to respect the request and delay the gift, or should she have given it to Jack sooner? How do you navigate the complexities of co-parenting, especially in blended families? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!