AITA for telling my niece to stay in the closet until she gets her inheritance?

A Reddit user (42M) shared that his 17-year-old niece recently came out to him as a lesbian. While offering her support, the user advised her to stay in the closet until his homophobic father (her grandfather) passes away, as he is set to inherit millions of dollars from him.

The user argues that if she comes out now, she could lose out on her inheritance due to his father’s bigoted will. His wife disagrees, calling his advice harmful and morally wrong. To dive deeper into the situation and how others have reacted, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my niece to stay in the closet until she gets her inheritance?’

My (42M) niece (17F) recently confided in me that she is a lesbian. I supported her, let her know I’d be there, etc. Usual ally stuff. However, she told me she was going to come out to the whole world this week. I let her know she should absolutely wait for her grandparents (my parents) to pass.

My father is incredibly wealthy and has tens of millions of dollars in assets that he will be passing down once he is gone. My father is a raging homophobe who has flat out stated any gay individual in our family would be written out of the will.

And to make sure the rest of us don’t just split more money with said gay relative, they will, instead, have that portion of the inheritance (put aside for that family member) donated to charitable causes. That money will be erased from the inheritance.

Since both my father and mother are incredibly poor health, (stage 4 cancer and debilitating dementia respectively) I told my niece she should stay in the closet for a while longer. If she comes out as a lesbian and they find out, she will quite literally lose out on 7 million dollars.

She was a little sad but was also appreciative since that is obviously a life-changing amount of money that will allow her to live luxuriously until she dies. My wife, however, said that I am being an a**hole. I am telling this poor girl to hide who she is just to appease old bigots.

That is true, I am asking her to appease old bigots. But I feel like her life quality will be much better with 7 million dollars at the cost of 1-2 years in the closet at tops. I have also seen my father’s will and know who is getting what, so my niece IS definitely going to receive 7 million as long as my father doesn’t rewrite or edit his will.

Am I the a**hole for telling my niece to stay in the closet so she can be a millionaire?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

[Reddit User] −  Oh God, I’m torn. This is honestly an excellent case study for an ethics class. My gut instinct is to say that you should never encourage someone to stay in the closet longer than they want to, but yeesh, that’s a life-changing amount of money. NAH, besides your parents for being raging homophobes.

pablo5280 −  NTA 7 millions changes ANYONE’S life and it’s not like she’ll have to hide it forever. Info: are you and your wife the only ones who know?

cabbage9988 −  NTA. You’re just advising her, not forcing her. She still gets to choose.

Nimbose −  GOSH. On one hand, I get where your wife is coming from… But on the other- hiding who she is for a short while in order to get an old homophobe’s money? Where she can then gay it up as much as she likes and has money to fall back on should anybody in her family disown her or she struggles to get a good paying job?

That’s kind of like… a major F\*ck You to bigots and I love it. NTA. It won’t be forever. Just let your niece know that you support her and she can come to you if need be. 7 million will let her live more than comfortably for the rest of her life and, as a gay transgender man, I’d take that deal in a heartbeat.. Edit: Typo

DawnaZeee −  NTA I would say I’m gay, straight, or BI for a year if it meant that I’d get 7 million! This is critical information that you rightly shared with her! She could still decide to forgo the money and announce it to the world as you’re not forcing her to keep quiet.

I hope she can keep quiet for now, as that’s a life changing amount of money. Oh, and are you looking for a wife that enjoys reddit and it willing to help you enjoy 7 million?? 😉

[Reddit User] −  NAH. There is a clear financial risk to her. You have done well to protect her.

TroyandAbed_Morning −  NTA – you’ve given her advice that she’s taken on. You didn’t tell her she can’t come out, just that she should wait so she benefits later. In the long run I imagine she’s more likely to regret being written out of 7 million dollars rather than waiting to come out.

Starlighter18 −  NTA. I totally agree that staying hidden until they pass is the right course of action. I mean, why would she risk *millions of dollars* just so she tells them one part of herself? It’s crazy. A sad part of the LGBT community is that sometimes we’ve gotta stay quiet about it, but in your niece’s case, it’ll pay off big time.

SJagannath −  I’m not gay to fully understand if you are an a**hole or not: From where I’m standing you are doing her a favor. I honestly would like to see more responses from the LGBT+ folks.

illegalrooftopbar −  NAH. I think you could’ve phrased it less as “here’s what you should do” and more as “here’s what you should consider,” but it was absolutely right of you to help your niece make an informed choice.