AITA for telling my wife that the only reason she says ‘money doesn’t matter’ is because we’re rich?

A Reddit user shared their concerns about their wife’s frequent remarks that “money doesn’t matter” and “material things don’t matter.” While the user acknowledges that these statements may be true for them, they argue that their wife’s perspective is shaped by their wealth and that she wouldn’t feel the same if they weren’t financially comfortable.

After a comment about needing a new watch, the user pointed out that their wife’s opinions are influenced by their wealth, causing tension in their relationship. To explore how the situation unfolded and how others have reacted, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my wife that the only reason she says ‘money doesn’t matter’ is because we’re rich?’

I (48M) and my wife (47F) both have very well paying jobs. I am a Pediatric Doctor and she’s an Attorney, which have allowed us and our kids (20F), (17M) and (15M) to have a more than comfortable lifestyle.

My wife has a tendency to say things like ‘Money doesn’t matter’ and that ‘material things don’t matter’ and she says them all the time, which kinda irks me because she’s right, but I was raised in a poor family, and I know that she wouldn’t be saying the same thing if we were middle-class.

But I haven’t said anything up until this morning. I had made a comment about needing a better watch, and my wife was saying her usual ‘money doesn’t matter’. I told her that she was only saying that because we are rich and because she has never experienced being without money in any sense.

Predictably, she got upset with me, and now I’m wondering if perhaps I overreacted and went too far.

See what others had to share with OP:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. People who have always had money seem to be delusional about it. Money absolutely does matter when you’re poor.

tiacalypso −  NTA but your wife is only an a**hole very gently. It‘s difficult to understand and accept your privilege when you‘ve grown up with it. I once said something akin to „Money doesn‘t matter“ or „Money doesnt buy happiness“ to a friend and got a proper lecture by a friend.

It went summat like this: you only say money doesn‘t matter because you have it, it buys you a good university, nice holidays and good care altogether. These are things that make you happy/happier that you buy with the money that you say doesnt matter.

JennieGee −  NTA – Alex, can I get ” things only rich people say” for $500? Money matters A LOT to most people, especially now, unfortunately.

catslady123 −  NAH. She’s probably never had to think about it like that before, and pointing it out made her uncomfortable. Since it was bothering you, you’re def not an AH for pointing it out, and I honestly don’t think she’s an AH for being upset – as long as she uses this as a chance to learn. If she continues to hold a grudge or something then my answer would change.

dragondude101 −  NTA-i will say money isn’t everything, but it sure f**king helps.

WebbieVanderquack −  NAH ~~INFO:~~ Can you be clearer about what sort of context she’s saying this in? Because it could be either really offensive or really not. For example, when you “made a comment about needing a better watch,”

was she suggesting that you shouldn’t be reluctant to spend the money on a better watch? That you should be satisfied with the watch you have? That she’d be happy to buy you one?

Dalskatron −  YTA. Your wife said money doesn’t matter when you mentioned you needed a new watch, which normally would mean: get the watch you need because money isn’t an issue. So you blindsided her about your lack of privilege during your childhood and how you don’t like her comments about money?

You’ve been with her for long enough to have teenage/adult children and you choose this random moment about a $40 watch to do this? INFO. Does she disregard others lack of privilege? Does she flaunt her privilege? What does she actually mean when she says “money doesn’t matter”?

Money matters, especially when you don’t have it, but the way you chose to go about this doesn’t make sense and seems immature for your education and age.

herreramom31 −  NAH. I can’t call your wife an ah for being oblivious to her privilege and you aren’t one for calling out her obliviousness. You guys need to sit down and have a talk about her comments bothering you and what you guys can do going forward. You guys just need to communicate better.

engg_girl −  NTA – I grew up below the poverty line, like you, was very lucky to move into a very well paying career. Money matters. Anyone who doesn’t think it matters has never had to decide between buying milk and buying bread (and you buy the bread because, let’s be honest, milk is a luxury item at that point).

sunshinestategal −  Ehhh I’m gonna go NAH. You’re talking about a new watch, your wife, in turn, says “money doesn’t matter”, what I get from that is, she’s telling you to get a watch that is good and not worry about price.

But it seems if y’all needed to be conservative about money this would be totally different. You were kind of an ah because you bit her head of abt it, and if it bothers you so much why don’t you sit down with her and have an adult conversation.