AITA for not telling my parents how to read my diary?

A Reddit user shared a tense situation with her parents after they found her diary and demanded to know how to decode it. To keep her privacy, she created a custom alphabet inspired by Cyrillic to prevent her sister from reading it.

Her parents, after snooping through her room, insist that she has no right to keep secrets while living under their roof and are trying to crack the code. Frustrated and feeling violated, she told them to “f*** off,” leading to punishment. Was she wrong for wanting to keep her diary private? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for not telling my parents how to read my diary?’

I’m a 15-year-old girl, and like many teens, I keep a diary. To protect my privacy, especially from my nosy older sister, I created a completely new alphabet. I even went a step further by combining certain sounds, like Yu, Ya, and Sh, into single letters, similar to how Cyrillic alphabets work in Russian, Bulgarian, or Kazakh. I felt pretty secure knowing that my thoughts were safe in this secret code.

Then, my parents found my diary while snooping through my room. Now they’re demanding that I teach them how to decode it so they can read it. Their argument is that I live under their roof, so I shouldn’t have any secrets from them.

I tried to explain that it’s just my private thoughts and not something I’m willing to share, but they wouldn’t back down. Frustrated, I told them to f*** off, which, unsurprisingly, got me sent to my room. Now, they’re still trying to crack my code, and it’s incredibly upsetting.

I get that I’m young and living under their rules, but I believe everyone, even teens, deserves some level of privacy. Writing in my diary is my way of processing emotions and navigating life—it’s not something I want to be judged or punished for.

Am I wrong for standing my ground? How do I make my parents understand that this isn’t about keeping secrets but about having a safe space to express myself? Have any of you dealt with similar situations, and how did you handle it?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

PragmaticSquirrel −  NTA.. Parents who force their way into their teens diaries are s**tty parents.. Full stop. Reading your teenage kids diaries is a violation of trust. They can basically expect you to never trust them as an adult, and to have a distant and likely s**tty relationship with them.

They are wrong, and there is NO other side to this.. Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thinking-about-kids/201702/no-mom-you-cant-read-your-daughters-diary-or-texts

phone-home82 −  NTA. Damn you got a bright future if you can code a diary at 15. Don’t let your parents drag you down with their need for “no secrets” from their kid, nor in future relationships. You keep doing you OP!!

[Reddit User] −  Nta. Your parents are being instrusive. You have a right to privacy do NOT give into them.

MyGoldenDragon −  NTA-that is an extreme i**asion of your privacy. Just because you are under their roof does not mean you aren’t entitled to your privacy. They should respect you and your privacy.

shamelessseamus −  NTA. Memorize and burn the cypher.

batch_with_wifi −  NTA. A diary is a private thing and should be accessed only by the owner and potentially people to whom they grant permission to read it. If you don’t feel comfortable with your parents reading your diary, you have every right to keep the code a secret. Perhaps you should not have told them to f**k off, because they are your parents after all but it’s the only thing I’m on the fence about.

zilla3000 −  NTA- I wish I had thought of that when I was your age. My dad and grandma read mine and blacked out all the things they didn’t like with black sharpie. Like a redacted legal document.

mezamic000 −  NTA – even as a minor you have the right to some privacy. I think it’s cool how you coded it 😂. But do not not tell your parents to “f**k off” even if you are right.

Bloomingcacti −  NTA there’s an online app called Cryptee which I recommend you look into so that you can write freely without fear of someone finding it. I’m sorry your parents don’t have boundaries!

[Reddit User] −  NTA. your parents apparently don’t understand the concept of privacy.

Is it reasonable for parents to demand access to a teenager’s private diary, or should personal boundaries be respected? How do you balance trust and privacy within a family? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!