AITA for expecting my boyfriend to replace all my socks, the exact same ones as I had before?

A Redditor shared how their boyfriend threw away their beloved collection of cheerful socks, replacing them with plain black ones without permission. The socks, which brought joy to the user and her patients at work, were deemed “childish” by her boyfriend. Now, she’s demanding he replace them with the exact same pairs, while he insists that’s unreasonable. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for expecting my boyfriend to replace all my socks, the exact same ones as I had before?’

I (24F) like wearing cheerful socks, since my uniform is all white (currently working as an phlebotomist), it usually cheers up the patients too. I’ve spent a few years collecting strange socks, ones with sushi, pizza, corgis, cats, Nick Cage, etc. I think I had about 30 pairs. My boyfriend (29M) has always hated them, and thinks they’re childish.

So I agreed to only wear them to work, and never on dates or around his friends/family. I thought that was fair. On boxing day his parents came over for coffee and gifts (just the 4 of us, which is allowed where I live, and keeping a solid 3 meters apart). I accidentally put on a pair of ‘childish’ socks, and his mother made a comment about it.

I explained that I wear them to work to cheer people up, and she liked that. My boyfriend didn’t. The next day all my socks were gone, and the drawer was filled with plain black socks. I asked my boyfriend, and he told me he threw them away and purchased some more ‘appropriate’ socks, so I won’t embarrass him in front of his parents again.

I told him that that’s insane, they were mine and he had no right to throw them away. Not to mention that I spend quite some time collecting them. So I made a list of the ones I remembered I had, and told him that I expect the same ones as a replacement.

He told me that’s completely unreasonable, and that it would take a lot of time/effort/money for him to find those specific pairs. I haven’t changed my mind yet, they cost me a lot of time and effort to find too. I think he’s being controlling, he thinks I’m being unreasonable and demanding.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

badb-crow −  Holy s**t. NTA. Honestly this is breakup-worthy behavior on his part. He *stole* your personal property. He’s trying to force you to stop doing something you enjoy because *he* doesn’t like it, even though it doesn’t impact him at all. He sounds like a huge controlling a**hole.

sour_lemons −  NTA, and this is such a huge RED FLAG!!! He’s being unreasonably controlling over SOCKS for gods sake. I don’t know how long you’ve been dating or if he’s exhibited other controlling behavior but typically these types of behaviors only get worse with time.

First is socks, next is your entire wardrobe and then what you eat, how you do your hair. He can use “that would embarrass me” as the reason for controlling literally anything you do, except it’s a bs reason and he had no right to throw away your belongings like that.

Flibbertigibbet123 −  NTA. For perspective, my husband can’t stand when I wear stuff like that either, and rolls his eyes when I wear them. And yet, I ended up with 12 pairs of Harry Potter socks because he knows I like them, and my feet are always cold. Get yourself a man like that, and ditch the p**ck!

grilledjalapenos −  To recap: An essential part of your personality is that you can embrace silliness to bring cheer to your day and others’. This makes your boyfriend so upset he steals your things and makes you feel bad for embarrassing him. You need to put on some cute socks and fierce boots and kick that boy out. You’re NTA or the childish one.

paper_lover −  I’m going to leave this here: “George H.W. Bush was known for many things, including his legacy as former U.S. president, World War II aviator, congressman, ambassador, CIA director — and as a fashion icon through his whimsical choice of socks.” NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You’re right to take this as a huge red flag. This is controlling and concerning behavior. It is not right for him to police what you wear at all. It’s even more concerning he tried to take measures into his own hands when you didn’t comply. This would be relationship ending behavior for me.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, that’s a low-key abuse tactic, and he had absolutely no right to trash your possessions, or misrepresent the way your mother reacted (positively!) to your socks.

Epionne −  NTA, you need to contact his mom and tell her what her son did. I know you are both adults but you have now had a conversation with her about these socks. This is a HUGE red flag. This feels like a test, if he can “beat” you at this sock game then it sets a precedent for future issues that he is always “in the right” and “knows best”.

I saw a comment that y’all have only been dating a few months and he is already starting to control what you wear? Shame him where it will make an impact, I doubt his parents would approve of his controlling behavior or his theft.

Tell them and be very clear with them that he has not only been controlling when/wear you wear them but then tossed them only after you “disobeyed his orders” by letting them, his parents see them. I hope you are able to get some fun socks back from this hopefully soon to be ex!

There is hope for a partner that will not only appreciate your sock collection but add to it! Hell my partner has mostly plain socks and was ecstatic when I got him 2 colorful pairs with our cats’ faces plastered all over them! p.s. I’m typing this while wearing studio ghibli socks that I love. Fun and colorful socks are the best!

[Reddit User] −  Your boyfriend is a controlling a**hole and this is a huge red flag.

ohdearitsrichardiii −  Dude what? NTA!!! After your bf gets you new socks, get a new boyfriend! I love phlebotomists with a sense of humour who lighten things up a bit. It’s such a serious environment, a pair of fun socks to focus on would definitely make the experience better

Was the boyfriend justified in his actions, or was this an overstep of boundaries? Do you think the user’s demand for specific replacements is fair, or is there a better way to handle the situation? Share your thoughts below!