AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague’s vegan birthday cake?

A vegan employee refuses to eat a birthday cake made by a colleague who has been condescending about her dietary choices. The colleague claims to have made a vegan cake but didn’t check the ingredients properly. The refusal leads to a dramatic reaction from the colleague, and the employee is now questioning whether she was in the wrong.

‘ AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague’s vegan birthday cake?’

I (29f) am working in an office and I have a colleague Bea, who routinely makes fun of vegans. I am vegan and i never make a fuss about food, i go to the same restaurants as my coworkers during lunch hour and i can always find myself something to eat without announcing my dietary choices.

Bea keeps calling me out on it though and she’s very condescending about it, she keeps saying i am just having a phase and she keeps offering me bites of her lunch that contain cheese and meat, and when i refuse she just goes “oh come on, its vegan i promise!” winkwink. Its very childish and annoying and even other people asked her to tone it down, but she insists shes just joking.

Last week she brought a homemade cake to the office for her birthday, and when she put a slice down in front of me i politely thanked her but i said i cant eat that. She said the cake is vegan and she made it specifically so i could eat it, but knowing her very loose definition of vegan i asked a few questions about the ingredients and she didnt check any of them for milk or eggs, so I thanked her again but refused the slice. She made a big scene out of it, she started crying and saying she just wanted to do something nice for me and now i ruined her birthday.

Some colleagues told me not to mind her dramatics, but my boss told me that it was her birthday and i could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt. I sort of see his point, but i also feel like i dont need to justify my food choices to anyone and i never asked her to make the cake vegan for me.. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

whatsername235 −  NTA. Sounds like she was waiting for you to eat it so she could go ‘aha!’ and tell you how much you enjoyed it.

LuckStrict6000 −  NTA. An adult woman crying because someone won’t eat her bday cake is sad. Wow.

perhapsnew −  NTA. Bea is bullying you. It’s inappropriate in a working environment. You should file a complaint with HR and describe all the incidents. She made a big scene out of it, she started crying. This is not acceptable. You’ve done nothing wrong. She is acting as if she is a victim. She is not a victim, she is a bully. My boss told me that it was her birthday and i could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt. Report your boss as well. Nobody should be pressured to eat something they don’t want.

ElectricMoccoson −  “i also feel like i dont need to justify my food choices to anyone”. Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s the correct answer – NTA.

[Reddit User] −  I’ll bet you $50 that cake wasn’t actually vegan. NTA.

Radiant_Cat618 −  NTA – she’s clearly and repeatedly shown that she doesn’t respect your dietary choices. Her cake was probably as vegan as a bacon cheeseburger. You politely refused. Your boss needs to take several seats as it’s completely inappropriate for him to comment on what you eat or don’t eat. He needs to talk to Bea about her bullying and harassing you over food.

AccioWine9 −  NTA, I wouldn’t trust that cake. Also your boss is a j**k. You may want to file a report with HR to have for future reference in case this escalates.

VarnishedTruths −  NTA. Anyone over the age of 8 who thinks their birthday is ruined because someone doesn’t want cake needs to grow up. You weren’t mean to her. You didn’t hurt her. You didn’t yell and swear and damn her to the deepest pit of Hell. Your boss is only going at you because the boss thinks it’s easier to make you bend than to deal with your coworker’s tantrums.

TalulaJen −  NTA. she’s being a drama witch. Also, it really stinks when you accidentally eat dairy after not having eaten dairy for a long time.

Travelwithbex −  NTA given her history I wouldn’t put it past her to say that it is a vegan cake and then be like “surprise it’s got butter and eggs in it, you just ate non vegan food. See how yummy it is” after OP had taken a slice. You don’t need to explain your food decisions to anyone and it sounds like coworker is being over sensitive and dramatic.