AITA For not being happy that my sister is pregnant AGAIN?

A Redditor expresses frustration over their younger sister’s fifth pregnancy at age 24, which is placing a financial strain on their family. The poster, often asked to help financially support her sister’s growing family, reached a breaking point during Easter when they voiced concerns about affordability.

This led to a heated argument, a family fallout, and accusations that the stress caused by their reaction might harm the pregnancy. Read the original story below to learn more:

‘ AITA For not being happy that my sister is pregnant AGAIN?’

My sister got knocked up by her boyfriend right out of highschool, got married the next year, then proceeded to pop out another baby every year or two, so she has four now at 24. She’s a stay at home mom even though she was brilliant and could have gotten a free ride to a great University.

Since hers are the only grandkids, our parents fawn over her like she’s the next coming of Christ. They gush over over every new tooth or haircut like it’s some huge achievement. Problem is, her husband’s business wasn’t great even even before COVID, and is barely limping along now. Sister doesn’t work, and my parents have limited income.

So guess who’s constantly being told to “lend” them money for s**t like school fees, car seat, car payment, new stroller, etc. They don’t even ask! My mom just texts me “your sister needs $X.XX for the kids” and I’m supposed to cough up. If I complain, they accuse me of being jealous because I don’t have a husband and family even though I’m older (I’m only 26!)

So over Easter I notice my sister isn’t drinking and I think oh god, here we go again. Sure enough, she stands up and announces that she’s been inseminated with yet another precious miracle. Everyone’s gushing and I just try to stay quiet and out of the way.

Later she asks me if everything’s alright and I try to play it off but she pushes so I asked her if she and her husband could really afford another baby. She very snippily replies “God will provide like he has so far,” which really pissed me off. I yelled that no, actually god didn’t provide for her babies, **I** did, and I wasn’t going to giving them any more handouts.

It devolved into a big argument with everyone shouting at me, and basically I’ve been banned from my family unless I apologize. I haven’t apologized.
It’s been radio silence except for one text from my mom saying that if my sister miscarries it’s my fault for stressing her out.

I asked if my sister was showing any symptoms but no one will answer or tell me. IDK. I don’t think I’m TA but I don’t want to be the reason she miscarries. Also, I think I might be TA because secretly I think it would be better if she did even though I wouldn’t say that to her.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

kiwii82 −  NTA and the next time your mom says oh your sister needs $$ and you need to give it to them just say ” no, sister said God will provide so I’m giving him a turn”

Forward_Squirrel8879 −  NTA – You are not an AH or an ATM. You don’t owe anyone an apology. But, if you want to keep the peace you could say something like: “I am sorry that I didn’t react well to your news. It is your decision how to grow your family and live your life, and if you are happy then I am happy for you.

But I want to make sure that you understand that I can no longer provide you with financial support. I feel like you have been taking advantage of my generosity. If the only way to get your forgiveness or to have a place in this family is to pay for it by supporting your children financially, then I guess we all need to take some time apart.”

ForkAKnife −  NTA. They did you a favor by cutting you off. You owe them nothing, don’t give them anything.

DuckInMyHeart −  NTA. Please stop giving her money. I’d suggest blocking these entitled people as well. Enjoy the ban from family (I mean that quite seriously, it will be cheaper and much less stressful if you just enjoy it.)

If they ever contact you for money again, say no but also if you know how much you’ve already given/lent say either “I’ve already given sister $xxxx, I’m not giving her anymore, but I’m sure you’d be happy to help her out.” Or “sister still owes me $xxxx from before, I’m not lending her money ever again because she doesn’t pay me back. If you want to lend her money, go ahead.”

Able-Dress1678 −  NTA. In the future when mom contacts you for money, just reply “God will provide” and hang up.

kokitrees −  NTA- if you can’t afford to care for the kids you already have, don’t keep having kids. It’s cruel and selfish to purposely have a kid when you can’t afford one. Edit: Thank you strangers for the awards 🙂

Evilbadscary −  NTA. Unless your sister has a specific health condition, getting into an argument is not going to cause her to miscarry. The whole “Don’t stress out a pregnant woman or she’ll miscarry” nonsense drives me insane.

As a former pregnant woman, trust me, we’re emotional nightmares and stress is only a part of it. One time I saw a puppy that was so cute and I cried and cried because I just thought it was so cute. Like, bawling, snot bubbling, just absolutely ridiculous.

Your sister and her baby are going to be fine, unless there’s other underlying causes, but either way, you have nothing to do with that potential outcome. You also have zero obligation to support them. They made those babies, they need to take care of them. It is not your job.

Oliviarose85 −  NTA. honestly, everyone being silent now is probably the best outcome, because there was a whole lot of stupid coming out of their mouths. It isn’t uncommon for people to pop out children they cannot afford, and guilt family into giving them money.

Making family member’s feel obligated to provide for you is so much easier than getting a job when you’re financially struggling. Your sister was the one who pushed you into actually talking about why you weren’t giddy about her news, and she got a truthful answer. There is nothing wrong with that.

You are the one expected to pay for these children she keeps having, and it’s completely reasonable to tell her that she’s being cut-off from those funds after showing zero gratefulness or any recognition. Your sister’s stress is completely on her, because she asked you to be honest, and pushed you until you started talking.

If you are unwilling to say what’s on your mind right off the bat, then she should have realized it wasn’t something she’d want to hear. It’s easy for you mom to text you and let you know your sister needs X amount of money, without her truly thinking about that number.

Now that you are no longer paying for your sister, guess where she’s going to go? Of course your mom won’t admit to how much she really asked of you once she’s hit with your sister’s expenses, but you can bet she’s going to feel it.

I would go through messages and bank statements to find out an exact number you’ve handed over in the span of a year, and when your mom eventually calls or texts to ask if you’re ready to apologize yet, you can hit her with that number, and let her know the only thing you’re sorry for is Not standing up for yourself sooner.

MyMalamuteisNuts −  NTA I would continue to go radio silence, and if they complain about it more, just say “Well, sis said God will provide, so who am I to step in God’s way.” It sounds to me like you’re better off without them; they need you more than you need them.

I hope you have a good group of friends to serve as a support system because right now when it comes to your family you’re Atlas and they’re the rest of the world. It’s not fair for you to have to support them all.

tialaila −  NTA do these people not know about birth control

Should the Redditor have expressed their concerns, or did they go too far? Is it reasonable to expect someone to financially support their sibling’s growing family? Share your thoughts and experiences below!