AITA for moving out when my parents asked me to pay rent.

A 23-year-old student who managed household chores and responsibilities for a family of seven moved out after their parents asked for rent contributions. Balancing school, part-time work, and extensive household duties, they realized they could live independently with more time and money. However, their family is upset, especially the younger siblings who now have more chores. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for moving out when my parents asked me to pay rent.’

I 23 am the oldest of five siblings and I am a full time student. I also have a part time job in my field but when I complete my after degree my employer will take me on full time. I make enough from part time to pay for school and put money aside. My siblings range from 20-10.

Both of our parents work full time. I have taken on a lot of the responsibilities for keeping everything running in the house. I do the grocery shopping, the laundry as well as making suppers and doing meal prep so everyone has lunches ready to take every day.

I also get all my siblings to do their part with regards to household chores. For example my youngest brother is responsible for feeding and walking the dogs. So I make sure that there is dog food in the storage and poop bags on the leash. My dad works very long hours and my mom works 9-5 at a hard job.

Over Christmas I had a chance to buy a PS5 for myself so I did. The rest of my family is still using a shared PS4. I keep mine in my room and I do not share. My parents started fielding complaints from my oldest brother about how I made so much money and I don’t share the things I buy for myself. Totally true.

So they had a talk with me where they brought this up. I pointed out how much of the household work I did and they said it wasn’t fair that o was earning so much money without contributing. They told me how much they expected from me.

I went to my room and did the math. If I gave them what they wanted I would have about $800 a month left over. If I dropped a couple of classes next semester I could go to almost full time hours with my employer and and it would only be one more year until I graduated with my second degree. But I could afford my own place and I would have way more free time and disposable income.

I packed up and moved out. Everything I owned fit in my car. I stayed at an Airbnb for two weeks until I could get everything sorted with an apartment, school, and work. It was great. I’m not going to lie I may have gone a little overboard on Tinder. I couldn’t have women over to my parents house.

I just moved into my own apartment. I’m staying part time until I finish this semester. I will work full time over the summer and go to a lighter class load/higher work hours in the fall. My oldest brother has been tasked by my parents to do everything I used to do. His chores have been split up with the other three. They are all pissed at me for moving out.

My parents are upset that I left them in the lurch. My siblings are mad that they all have more chores. My oldest brother is especially salty because he has no free time to see his girlfriend and she isn’t allowed in the house when my parents aren’t home. I’m enjoying my free time. I bought myself a plant from IKEA. I feel bad for screwing them all over but it didn’t make sense for me to do all that work and pay rent on top..

#EDIT All the chores were split fairly. I wasn’t doing any more than anyone else. I thought it was fair until I was asked to out in money as well.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Poesy-WordHoard −  NTA.. I bought myself a plant from IKEA.. This honestly made me smile.

Mogwai_92 −  NTA. If you ‘left them in the lurch’ that should be a flashing sign of how much you were contributing. I was ready to call you an AH but your carrying the entire mental load of the household you shouldn’t be expected to share the money you earn

Fun_Key_3028 −  NTA. They are all just pissed that they lost their slave. They are all TA’s. Good for you for knowing your worth and taking the time to calculate everything out!

DisgruntledPelican54 −  NTA. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT THEN LEAVE. ~Leaves~. Shocked Pikachu Face

JazzyKnowsBest13 −  Lolol. I bet your oldest brother is regretting making such a fuss about you buying yourself a PS5 with your own money. He started all of this. I know that all parents are different and have different plans on how they can or want to support their children.

Some start rent right at 18 or high school graduation, some pay for all expenses through college. Many of us are somewhere in between. It doesn’t should like your parents told you in advance that rent would start at a certain age, which I think is unfair.

It sounds more like they just wanted to confiscate part of your income so your siblings wouldn’t be as jealous. When they introduced the idea of rent, I would have introduced the concept of decreased chores. Someone renting a room would traditionally not have assigned chores and childcare, they would just tidy up after themselves.

Parents often initiate conversations about rent to inspire young adult (or older) offspring to move out. Even when that wasn’t the parents’ intent, the rent talk often inspires the offspring to do a cost/benefit analysis and decide to move out.

That’s what happened here. It certainly doesn’t make you an AH. NTA. You parents’ aren’t AH’s for bringing up the subject, but they definitely are for trying to guilt trip you after you made the best choice for you, to move out. Good for you.

mdthomas −  You’re 23 and have the means to live on your own. Now your siblings can see why you moved out.. NTA

TrippiNikki −  Jesus, your family is acting like they lost their best employee, not a son/brother

Penguin_Doctor −  NTA. They wanted you to pay rent in addition to running the house. You didn’t want to do that, so you left. Sucks for your siblings, but it’s ultimately your parents responsibility, and you can’t be expected to stifle your life for them because they don’t want to do as much as you. Congrats on the new place!

kotedarasuum −  NTA. I don’t necessarily think it’s unreasonable for parents to ask for a contribution once you reach a certain age, although I can’t say I’m the hugest proponent for that either.

However, the way they framed it made it sound like they expected this of you as a condition of “fairness” for your other siblings, simply because you are spending your hard-earned money on things you love. You could serve as a role model to them. Parents could say, “we know it’s hard to see people get things you want, but (OP) works for that.

You can be like that too someday when it’s your time.” It would be one thing if your parents were buying these things for you, but they’re not. More than that, you didn’t agree to their terms of continued living with them.

So, instead of throwing a tantrum, you packed up and moved out. I don’t think that is unreasonable at all. You’re 23 and can move out whenever you feel it is right, especially because you’re an adult. You’re not the a**hole. I hope things improve with your family.

Kirin2013 −  NTA at all. Brother is learning a valuable lesson on life now. Beggars can’t be choosers. You aren’t a beggar and get to choose however!

Edited to add: Doesn’t really sound like it is any skin off your parents backs. They have a back-up nanny. He just doesn’t want to be the back-up nanny and that’s just too bad for him. Had he kept to himself, you would still be taking care of him.

Was this person justified in moving out, or should they have stayed to continue supporting their family? At what point does family responsibility become too much? Share your thoughts below!