AITA for returning a birthday gift I got for my boyfriend after he insulted me about my “colorful” past?

A Reddit user shares their experience of returning a PS5 birthday gift they had purchased for their boyfriend after he and his friends insulted her about her past relationships. Despite being upfront about her history from the beginning, her boyfriend dismissed her concerns and labeled her with derogatory terms, leading her to feel hurt and take action. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for returning a birthday gift I got for my boyfriend after he insulted me about my “colorful” past?’

I F(26) dipped into my savings and got Mike, my boyfriend (27) a PS5 for his birthday yesterday. He knew he was getting the PS5 because he told me that the PS5 is the only thing he wants. We’ve been together for 4 years so the cost didn’t matter. That is until, I found out what he thinks about me.

Some background: When I was 18, I was involved with Jake, a guy who I met online. We ended things after 3 months, and I moved on shortly after with Adam, a guy from work. I found out a couple months later that Jake and Adam were actually really close friends but I didn’t know Jake long enough to meet his friend group, so I had no idea.

After finding out, I took some time off dating and two years later, I met my current boyfriend Mike. I was upfront and honest with Mike about my past and the fact that I was unintentionally involved with friends. He said he understood and my past didn’t bother him.

Last night at his party, I showed up with the PS5 and him and his friends were screaming with joy. His best female friend Jessica laughed and said “I wish I was a thot so I could afford a PS5 too.” I looked at her with an “excuse me?” Look on my face and she just said “nevermind” and walked away.

I confronted my boyfriend about it and he said and I quote “she’s just messing with you. You can’t take a joke?” So I pushed further as to why this girl is even calling me names to begin with and he said “well, everyone knows you were a thot before you met me.” I asked him to explain how I was a thot before him and he said “you know…messing with best friends?”

He then pat me on the shoulder and said that it’s okay because I’m not who I was back then and if he could get over my “colourful past” and “thot mentalities” to give me a chance, then I could get over Jessica’s comments and give her another chance. I didn’t say anything. I just got up. Took the PS5 from the gift table and left.

He was PISSED. He literally called me like 20 times, but I didn’t care. I was so hurt that I took the bow off and took it straight back to the store I got it from. They happily refunded it. I thought that was done but Mike and all his friends including Jessica are berating me for being petty and they’re all saying I brought this on myself by making poor choices.

I responded to Mike and told him that he deserves better than me so find someone who wasn’t a “thot” and get the PS5 from them because I returned it. He started screaming how I’m “the biggest AH” for returning it and how I should be happy he ignored my “colourful past.” I’m thinking maybe taking it back went too far.. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

SweetPotatoFamished −  I’m so confused. But maybe that’s because I’m an old lady who got married around the time you were in Kindergarten.
A) if anyone was wrong in the Jake/Adam incident it was Adam. You might have dated friends, but he dated his best friend’s ex. That’s on them to figure out, and Adam’s mistake only.

2) Where I come from, dating 3 dudes in 7 years does not a “colorful” past make. Did “ho” get a new definition since the early 00s?. NTA. And I hope you do something special for yourself with a little of that money you got back from returning that gift you got your ex boyfriend.

190PairsOfPanties −  NTA. Give him the keys to the curb. Also- dollars to dildos he’s cheating with Jessica.

WombatBeans −  NTA. Nothing about your past is even colorful. Omg you dated 2 guys that happened to be friends good heavens where are my pearls?! I must clutch them! Sounds like Jessica is either sleeping with this fool, or wants to be. She can have him. Use the money to get yourself something nice.

Significant_Pea_2852 −  NTA. Sheesh, no offense but your past isn’t even that colorful! Like mild beige at best.

Mimsie4424 −  Your past isn’t colorful. You haven’t done anything wrong. There is no need for you to feel badly about who you dated and frankly it’s no one else’s business. The fact that your BF not only judged you, but also shared his judgement with friends is inexcusable.

You don’t do hurtful things like that to people you care about. He wanted you to feel less than. You did the right thing. Now you need to find someone who deserves an amazing person like you. Don’t settle for anything else. Definitely NTA.

EmpressJainaSolo −  NTA. Who told you what you did was shameful? Who convinced you that having a consensual relationship and then, after that one had ended, having a different consensual relationship was bad?

You casually dated two people at different times who knew each other. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your boyfriend has a very toxic and unhealthy attitude about your dating history.

SnooPets8873 −  What was even so wrong with what you did? You dated two guys at separate times that you didn’t know knew each other? And that’s somehow a poor reflection on you? Bizarre. NTA these people are not worth your time or a PS5

Wyliecoyote22 −  NTA and sweetheart if that’s what he considers a colorful past he would have a stroke if he heard about mine! Don’t ever let losers like him and his friends make you feel bad!

RiverSong_777 −  Wow. NTA. Sorry it took years for your EX to show his true colours. 🚩🚩🚩 Also, those friends are absolute garbage as well. No decent adult would treat you like that. Especially not over the “mistake“ of not checking whether a person you were dating happened to know the person you briefly dated before them.

Syncity- −  NTA excuse me but throw the whole man away.

Do you think the Reddit user was justified in returning the PS5 after her boyfriend’s comments, or was it an overreaction? How would you handle a situation where a partner dismissed and insulted your past? Share your thoughts below!