UPDATE: WIBTA If I stopped baking cookies for the retreats that have come to expect them?

A Reddit user returned to share an update after deciding to stop baking cookies for the quilting retreats. After expressing their frustrations to the shop owner, they were guilt-tripped and manipulated into continuing, with some retreaters even offering money for the cookies.

Realizing they were being disrespected and undervalued, the user made the decision to leave the job and apply for positions in their original field as a licensed pharmacist. They found a new job at a federal prison, where they not only rediscovered their love for baking but also felt respected and appreciated. Read the full update below to see how the user transformed their situation.

‘ UPDATE: WIBTA If I stopped baking cookies for the retreats that have come to expect them?’

As a number of the comments suggested, I ended up talking to the owner of the shop and telling her that I wasn’t going to bake cookies for the retreats anymore. I told her I felt belittled and disrespected by her behavior and that of the retreaters. Her response was basically “they expect the cookies. What do you expect me to tell them?

They’re not going to want to come to retreats anymore. You should have never baked them at all- this whole issue is going to be bad for business.” I went home feeling completely invalidated. She completely gaslit me. I read and reread some of your commends multiple times and decided to stand my ground on this.

She didn’t threaten to fire me or anything (not that she could have- she needed me) but she continued to guilt trip me and try to manipulate me into baking again. She even had some of the retreaters come to me offering me money to bake for the retreats. At this point it wasn’t about the pay- it was how people were treating me.

I refused and started applying to other jobs because I was sick of the environment. The thing is, I’m actually a licensed pharmacist. I was working for minimum wage at a quilt shop because I was burnt out in an over saturated and overworked field. I was depressed because i was a doctor of pharmacy- 8 years of college completed,

and i didn’t feel mentally fit for working in that field because of my mental health. I worked for this quilt shop for a year. I learned some things, got a break, and regained some of the mental health I lost. This cookie debacle was the push I needed to regain my self worth and go back to the field that I wanted to be in.

Within a month I found a job as a pharmacist at a federal prison. I loved it from my first day. I’ve been there a year now and I love every day of it. My job has meaning, my coworkers are awesome, and every day is a new experience. It took a few months, but I got my baking mojo back.

I’m known throughout the prison by my actual name and people come to visit the pharmacy for some cookies (or whatever baked good I decide upon) and they stay for conversation. I found a job I love and a group of people who appreciate my baking and don’t use me as a cookie slave. Thanks, Reddit. You guys are awesome.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

slupo −  Baking for co-workers is such a weird thing. I used to bake a lot when I was single. It was a hobby and I had the time for it. So naturally I brought my goods to work since I didn’t want to eat 3 dozen cookies by myself. Everybody loved them and I was happy until one day I overheard some co-workers talking about how it was weird that I baked so much.

Weird? Maybe because I was a 27 year old guy at the time? I was surprised and annoyed. If it’s so weird why are you stuffing your face with my weird cookies? After that I was like f**k this and completely stopped bringing baked goods to work.

Of course those same co-workers asked why and I told them I just didn’t think it was appropriate any more and that was that. Anyway I love the outcome to this story and wish you the best in all of your baking and non-baking endeavors!

princessofperky −  I’m happy for you. I know how you feel as I’m also a baker and actually closed my at home baking business because people reacted the same way. Good for you for standing up for yourself and finding your mojo!!!

[Reddit User] −  I wonder how many people stopped going to retreats…if only people had treated you better and appreciated your gift of cookies… But it worked out for you in the end! Glad you have a job you enjoy and can enjoy baking again!

[Reddit User] −  Wow, that’s awesome! Very happy to hear such a positive outcome from your experiences!

PrehistoricSquirrel −  This is great! Once something you love to do gets turned into an obligation and even a burden, that can really ruin it. Glad you got a new job and got your baking mojo back!

IllustriousComplex6 −  With the hell that is 2020 I need more of these kinds of good updates.. Congrats!

Cereal_poster −  Congrats! That is an awesome update. You should add a TL;DR with the caption: “Stopped baking cookies, ended up in prison”. 😉

catch-365 −  A good, wholesome update. I’m very proud of you OP for standing your ground and finding a job that you enjoy. Good luck on your future endeavours.

PrairieDogStromboli −  This. This is what social media is good for and should do more of. Building up a fellow human and helping them feel better and do better for themselves. Good job all around.

soshinysonew −  Such a great update to read, so happy for you and your growth and your new job!. Now I want cookies.