Update: AITA for refusing to let my sister bring her dog to my house after what happened last time?
After refusing to let her sister bring her large, poorly-behaved dog to a family Christmas gathering, a woman found herself at the center of a family conflict. Her sister compared the dog to a child and threatened not to come unless the dog was allowed.
Despite pressure from her mom to keep the peace, she stood her ground, prioritizing her comfort and well-being. In the end, her sister showed up without the dog but remained distant and upset. Now, the woman wonders if she made the right call. Read the full story below.
‘ Update: AITA for refusing to let my sister bring her dog to my house after what happened last time?’
First off, thank you to everyone who offered advice and support on my original post. I was feeling a lot of pressure and was starting to second-guess myself, but I really appreciated reading all your comments.
To clarify a few things before I get into the update: I don’t hate dogs. I grew up with pets, but since moving into my own place, I’ve chosen not to have any. I also have some health concerns (allergies), which make it more difficult for me to handle dogs in an indoor environment. I love my sister, but the last time her dog was at my house, it caused major stress..
Now, for the update: After my original post, I had a long conversation with my sister and mom. My sister kept saying that I was being unfair by not allowing her dog to be part of the family celebrations. She compared it to me banning her “child,” which I told her was a pretty extreme comparison, considering her dog is over 80 pounds, rambunctious, and wasn’t exactly well-behaved at my house last year.
To be honest, things got a bit heated during our conversation. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about her dog, it was about having a peaceful, enjoyable family gathering. My house isn’t pet-proof, and I didn’t want to spend the entire evening cleaning up after the dog or worrying about my guests’ safety (the dog knocked over a glass of wine last year, too). But she kept saying that I was being “too controlling” and that I “didn’t care about her happiness.”
At this point, my mom started to get involved. She’s been trying to play the “family unity” card, saying that my sister’s dog is like a “family member” and that we should make exceptions to ensure everyone is happy. I held my ground, and it felt like I was in the middle of a tug-of-war.
The next day, my sister texted me saying she would come if *I* made the choice to “accept the dog as part of the family.” Otherwise, she said, she’d just skip Christmas dinner altogether. My mom called me in tears, saying I was making the holiday “divisive” and that I was “being difficult.” Honestly, at that point, I started feeling like maybe I was being unreasonable, but I stuck to my decision.
So here’s what happened: My sister showed up without the dog, but she was *very* upset about it. She barely interacted with anyone at first and spent a lot of time on her phone. It was super awkward. By the end of the night, things had calmed down a little, and we were able to enjoy dinner. But I still feel like the tension is lingering, and I’m honestly wondering if I made the right choice.
Some of the comments I received (especially about setting boundaries and considering my own well-being) made me feel better about my decision. But now that it’s all over, I can’t help but feel guilty for causing this rift.
My sister has barely spoken to me since, and my mom is still upset. So, for the final question: Did I make the right choice? Was I being unreasonable, or was I just standing up for myself? Thanks again to everyone for your advice!
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Tiny-Extreme-4127 − NTA. You don’t want a rambunctious, ill-behaved dog in YOUR house. If your sister wants to bring her dog to get-togethers then she can host them at HER HOUSE. Edit: Thank you for the award!!! I appreciate it
miyuki_m − NTA. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t host again. Let your mom host.
Tunasalad7795 − NTA – Just remember, when someone says having a dog is like having a child, “you can crate a dog for awhile but the police are called if you crate a child.. ” Your sister is choosing family drama over being away from her dog for a few hours.
busyshrew − You have a VERY reasonable boundary. Your sister is being ridiculous. Good for you OP, for standing strong. And your sister, in the end, managed the evening just fine, no? (other than the sulking).
Please do not erase all of your hard emotional work and backslide because you want to people please. Your consideration is not going to be appreciated, and it would mean that any future boundary will be tantrumed over even harder.. Continued NTA.
Pink_lady-126 − NTA…so, your sister threw a tantrum because you refused to allow her giant poorly behaved pet to run rampant in your house on another holiday and manipulated your mom into getting mad too, and you feel guilty?
Senator_Bink − *and spent a lot of time on her phone.* What was she doing, texting the dog? You’re not the one dividing the family. Sis and her ill-behaved animal are. NTA.
pixie-ann − NTA your sister is selfish. Stick to your guns. If your sister wants her “child” to accompany her places then she needs to train it better. You always have right of refusal for someone’s pet coming into your home.
I_wanna_be_anemone − Never host at your property again. Tell your mom she can enable her grown b**t without putting your health or property at risk. NTA
tattoovamp − I’d take hosting off the table for the next couple of years. You were bullied relentlessly during the holidays when you should have been relaxing.
dplafoll − Disclaimer: I have 3 dogs, which is as many as our family can support. I love dogs, this is not about dogs. Relatives are biology, and family is a choice. Also, it’s your house. Combine those into one situation, and you’ve got: It’s your house, so it’s your right to refuse to allow the dog, no excuses or reasons needed.
Therefore, your sister is choosing her dog as family over you as family. Since your sister believes her dog is more important to her than family, I’d respect her wishes and go LC/NC. All love to dogs, but it’s just a dog, and it’s sad that she believes the dog is worth more than her own blood. You don’t need this in your life.
Setting boundaries with family is never easy, especially during the holidays. Was the original poster justified in protecting her space, or should she have compromised for the sake of family unity? Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!