AITA For not giving my mother my new kitten?
A Reddit user shares a heartfelt dilemma about whether they should give their new kitten to their mother. After moving out, the user feels guilty about leaving their family behind, and their mother has been pressuring them to part with the kitten as a way to “make amends.” Is the user selfish for wanting to keep their pet, or are they justified in saying no? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA For not giving my mother my new kitten?’
I (f18) am freshly moved out with my boyfriend (m20.) We already have a male cat but decided on getting another. She is a baby female kitten and absolutely adorable and loving. The problem started when we brought her home. My male cat is probably about a teen right now and needs to be neutered, but since my female cat is a kitten I thought I’d have more time. I did not. So while waiting for my cat to get an appointment I’d asked my mom if she would cat sit for me. She agreed and brought her home.
Now as silly as it may seem – and this is relevant-, I have a lot of guilt about moving. I love my dad but he is nowhere near a great guy, and I’d felt like I left my mom and brother behind (even though we live in the same town.) I’d told my mother this and she understood and told me not to feel guilty.
Things have changed though. She constantly tries to convince me to let her have my kitten, and as dumb as it may sound she’s part of my family I’ve made for myself. She’s my baby girl and so every time I say no. When I do she gets upset and says things like, “You feel bad for leaving me behind? Give me something to love. I need something to love.”
And it has me feeling like maybe I really am in the wrong, and that I should really give her the kitten to make ‘amends’ even though I don’t really want to… Am I the a**hole?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Worth-Season3645 − NTA….But, may I make a suggestion? Why not get a kitten for your home? There are plenty out there to choose from. Pick a day and take her to an adoption center to choose a kitten.
aricyl − NTA and I’ve read your replies. She is weaponising your guilt, she is trying to make you feel bad. It’s on her to manage on her own, relearn life without her kids in the home. I have years before I have to think about that but I know it is going to happen. What I won’t be doing is making my child feel guilty for leaving the family home and embarking on their own life.
Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA. Getting her a kitten of her own is a really nice idea. Shelters are overflowing with cats & kittens looking for loving homes. I saw your replies: Her saying “it’s not the same” proves she *is* weaponizing your guilt. I also saw you say “you’re sorry your family are like this.”. So am I. Very much so. Go get your kitten as soon as your male cat’s recovered.
Full_Pace7666 − NTA. Your mom is straight up weaponizing you with your own guilt. What the f**k. Take kitty back and see if a trusted friend or some other relative is willing to watch her.
StAlvis − INFO. Why was your male cat not neutered at first opportunity?
Arakarani − Nta. What?? Tell your mom to go adopt her own kitten, lol.
CaliforniaJade − Your poor mom, there are so few kittens in the world, why can’t you just give up yours? Seriously. There are way too many cats in need of a home, why she has fixated on yours points to her wanting to cause you pain.. NTA.
hannahkelli − NTA. The void that was left behind when you moved out is not your responsibility. Your mom being said and missing you is totally natural, but that’s her issue to deal with. That she’s trying to use guilt over you moving out to get you to give up your kitten – especially given that you’ve already told her no – is m**ipulative and not okay. If she believes a kitten will fill the void you left, then she can absolutely go and adopt one of her own.
goldenfingernails − NTA. “You feel bad for leaving me behind? Give me something to love. I need something to love.” That’s some m**ipulative BS right there. It’s nice your mom is trying to play nice and say don’t feel guilty but then throws this at you. She knows how to press your buttons. Stand your ground. Don’t give her your kitten. She can get her own.
catladyclub − Your mom can go to any shelter and have her pick of dozens of kittens. There are so many cats and kittens that need a home! Maybe you could get her one or take her there to pick one out? There is no reason for you to give up your baby. NTA.