AITA for going to a concert?
A 19-year-old woman shared that she has been the sole financial support for her unemployed mother for nine months, covering rent, bills, and groceries. After deciding to attend a concert for a much-needed break.
Her mother expressed disapproval, suggesting the money should be saved and even requested funds for her own plans. Now, the poster feels guilty about prioritizing herself. Read the full story below:
‘ AITA for going to a concert? ‘
long story short I (19F) have been FULLY financially supporting my mom (47F) for the last 9 mos. since she lost her job. I buy groceries, pay all the bills, including rent with 0 contribution from her. We recently moved and we got into this place using my credit, and I paid for literally everything.
I don’t mind helping her cause she’s my mom and I love her, but it’s really taxing because I work 40+ hrs. to make sure we are taken care of and it barely does. She doesn’t have a car, and neither do I so I walk to work and lyft everywhere else.
I pretty much don’t go anywhere except work and the grocery store, I barely hang out w friends to save money and I decided this week to go to a concert, she also had plans this morning and is asking me for uber money, I said no and to ask one of her friends for a ride, and she’s upset.
She thinks I should be saving my money instead of going, even though she’s going somewhere and asked me for that same money. I feel guilty now though because she’s my mom and I should be helping her. AITA for going to this concert?
See what others had to share with OP:
Grouchy-Towel-3168 − NTA You realize that your life would be SO much easier if you kicked her out, don’t you? She can’t find a job, any job, in 9 months?! You are enabling her and she’s not likely to change if you keep doing it.
I wouldn’t give her any money, and would encourage her to move out with one of her friends. An alternative would be to put in the time until your lease expires and then move out – without her.
Fresh_Process6822 − NTA. But INFO: is there a reason your mom can’t hold a job now? Even a PT job would help.
TopProfessional1862 − NTA You are already completely supporting her. If you want to spend your own money on some time with your friends you should be able to do that guilt free! If she wants extra spending money she needs to get a job!
She should have found something at least part time by now where she can help out with expenses. She’s using you and she’ll keep wanting more. You need to set some serious boundaries if you don’t want her mooching off of you forever.
Live-Ice7323 − NTA. Time to cut her loose and let her fend for herself. She is dependent upon you and needs to face the reality of being responsible for herself. Stop enabling her and don’t let her guilt trip you and tell you how you should spend your own money.
A_Screaming_Banshee − NTA and Info: How are you able to pay for all of this??? On a single salary of a 19 year old. Rent in Montreal is around 700$ a month, and that is a cheap and run-down s**tty apartment. Plus, the cost of the groceries is insanely high.
People your age usually have a roommate to help them out with the cost of everything… Without disclosing exactly where you are , I’m completely baffled by how you can pay for everything AND on your own without any help.
LowBalance4404 − NTA. But how is she unable to find a job? Any job? If I were you, I’d stop enabling this.
elsie78 − NTA. Go enjoy yourself, you deserve it. Are you ready to have the tough conversation with your mom yet? It’s time she gets a real job and steps up to be a parent again – or at least a roommate paying her fair share!
Tell her the extra money to her stops now. Give her 60 days to get her act together, or you need to find a roommate who can help. Because you simply can’t do it all anymore. It is hard. She’ll be mad. But, you deserve peace.
AEM1016 − Shame on her. A parent is supposed to take care of their kid, not the other way around. As others have said – it’s time for her to get a job and start supporting herself. You sound like a nice kid – not the a**hole. Part of working hard is also getting to explore the world and what it has to offer. Have fun at the concert!
East_Parking8340 − Of course she can get a job. There are many part time opportunities. She‘s treating you like a pseudo partner, with her having the SAHW role. You are expected to do everything, finically, that a husband would do. This is not something you can sustain. It will end up in you hating her.. NTA
blah618 − NTA. a business that doesn’t earn money us a hobby. and she should work a real job until her hobby gives her a larger income than it
just move out, not like youre depending on her for anything (unlike many other stories involving family here)
Supporting family can be a heavy burden, but self-care and boundaries are essential for long-term well-being. Do you think the poster was justified in prioritizing the concert, or should she have continued to prioritize her mother’s needs? How would you balance supporting a loved one while still maintaining your own mental health? Share your thoughts below!