My (22F) bf (23M) cancelled on our plans to see his girl best friend. Should we break up?

A 22-year-old woman had concert plans with her boyfriend (23M), which they booked two months in advance. However, he recently canceled to attend his female best friend’s graduation party, which is four hours away, claiming she would be upset if he missed it. The woman feels frustrated since their plans can’t be rescheduled, unlike a graduation visit. She’s wondering if this is a red flag indicating she’s not a priority and whether she should break up with him. Read her story below.

‘ My (22F) bf (23M) cancelled on our plans to see his girl best friend. Should we break up?’

My boyfriend and I (22F, 23M) had been excited about a concert we planned to attend together in May. We bought tickets two months ago, and it felt special since this band rarely tours in the U.S., and the event sold out almost instantly. We were both looking forward to it, and I was counting down the days.

Then, out of nowhere, he told me he can’t go. The reason? His girl best friend has a graduation party on the same night, and he thinks she’ll be upset if he doesn’t attend. He’s planning to drive four hours away for this party and leave me to go to the concert alone—or worse, not go at all.

I’m frustrated because our plans were made long before her party. This isn’t just a casual dinner or movie night that we could reschedule; it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I asked him if he could celebrate with her the following day, but he didn’t seem to consider it. He insists on prioritizing her event, which makes me feel sidelined and unimportant in his life.

This situation has left me questioning everything. I understand friendships are important, but it hurts to see him prioritize her feelings over a commitment we made together. It feels like a red flag—like I’m already not a priority, and we’ve only been dating for a short time. If he’s willing to break plans for her now, what’s to say this won’t be a pattern?

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to compete with his best friend, nor am I asking him to cut her off. But relationships are about balance, mutual respect, and showing each other that your time together matters. I feel like I’ve been put in an unfair position where I either accept being second place or risk looking unreasonable for expecting him to follow through on our plans.

Now I’m stuck wondering what to do. Should I bring this up again and risk starting a bigger fight, or let it go and accept that I’m not his priority? Part of me thinks I should just end things now before it gets worse.

What would you do in my shoes?
Am I wrong for feeling hurt and frustrated? Is it too soon to think about ending things, or is this a legitimate concern? How do you handle situations where your partner prioritizes someone else over a commitment made to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

JellicoAlpha_3_1 −  Go to the concert with someone else and slow fade him out of your life

Cosmic-Princesa −  If you’re not his priority… then I would break up. Will you always be the second choice? :’(. I’m sorry OP

spiteful_rr_dm_TA −  I guess a bit more context is needed here: she is 4 hours away; Does he make efforts to hang out with her often? Or is this a “once in a blue moon” thing? Does he often cancel on you, or is this an anomaly?

How often do you two make big plans? Was this a rare treat, or do you often go out and do things together? Does he prioritize other friends over you regularly, or is this rare? Based on what you’ve said so far, I’d say he is an ass. But these bits of info will definitely change how I see this

superwholockian62 −  He is more comfortable with you being mad at him than he is his “best friend”. Do with that information what you will.

NYCStoryteller −  Looks like you’ll be going to the concert with someone else, because he’s your soon to be ex. Honestly, her graduation party is not carved in stone. Not everyone has it on the day they graduated or even the same weekend. His decision shows you what his priorities are, and it’s not you.

He spends more time with her than you, this was supposed to be a special occasion for the two of you, etc. etc. You sound more like the side chick than the girlfriend. Tell him that he should really date her and get on with it.

UniversalSpaz −  Behavior is a language and he is saying that he cares about her more than you.

Fit_Squirrel_4604 −  I wouldn’t put the effort in anymore. There are others out there that will make you #1. 

Dear_Parsnip_6802 −  I wouldn’t stick around if he’s prioritising her over you. You’ve had plans for months, paid for tickets and been away for school, so he should be excited to go with you and apologise to her that there is unfortunately a clash he didn’t foresee. Break up and take someone else to the concert.

visibledrink00 −  my bf cancelled plans with me to hang w his girl best friend and he ended up cheating on me with her! do with that what you will

FairyCompetent −  Yes, call things off and find someone else to go with. If he can’t prioritize your plans made months in advance, if another woman’s feelings of disappointment matter more than yours, this will not improve. 

Would you accept being second to a best friend, or is this a clear sign that priorities are misaligned? How would you handle a situation like this? Share your advice and stories below!