[UPDATE] My (22F) boyfriend (24M) is a “passport bro” and I had no idea

A woman shared an eye-opening and frustrating experience with her now ex-boyfriend, who turned out to be a self-proclaimed “passport bro.” While he claimed to move to her Central European country for work, she discovered online comments suggesting he was seeking a “traditional wife” based on stereotypes of women from her culture.

The revelation clashed with her modern values and independence, leading her to end the relationship. She later took steps to warn other women locally about this behavior. Read her detailed update below.

‘ [UPDATE] My (22F) boyfriend (24M) is a “passport bro” and I had no idea’

Wanted to come on here and reply to a few things and give a little update. I had no idea the last post was going to blow up so quickly and get so many comments. For this reason I didn’t go into too many details in my last post

1. When I read his comments on those websites it felt dehumanizing and fetishizing. They were making stereotypes about us that are either untrue or outdated. We have all kinds of women here just like in other countries. Some like to party, some don’t

Some are looking for flings, some want long term relationships, some want to stay single and childless forever. It’s not true that most of us are submissive women who obey our husbands. Try telling that to a Central European woman face to face and see her reaction haha

2. He told me he only came for work and it’s funny we met because he wasn’t planning on getting into a relationship. Judging by his comments online it was a lie and he came here to look for a “traditional wife”

3. Surprisingly, he never actually told me that he wanted a traditional relationship. He doesn’t do anything that’s considered traditional in my culture either. I work hard for my own money and go to university so I don’t want to be a housewife or stay at home mom in the near future.

We’ve talked about this so he knows. What worries me is that someone online told him to start a relationship and then try to make it more traditional over time. I don’t know if that’s what he’s trying to do or if he’s changed his mind. I have no way of knowing and don’t want to take the risk of wasting my time

4. He works at an IT company (allegedly). I’ve never been to his workplace so I have no proof of this. It might be my naivety to think it’s true but we have a lot of companies like this in my country and a lot of foreigners work in IT in the capital city so who knows

5. “Traditional woman” and “traditional relationship” can mean different things in different countries depending on culture and social norms. He wants a traditional woman by American standards but that’s not the same as what we consider a traditional woman here.

It’s pretty clear from his online comments that he has no clue about this difference. It’s offensive because it shows he knows nothing about our culture and history and is just relying on stereotypes and outdated assumptions.

6. Some people in the comments tried to justify his desire for a traditional wife stating that European women should be happy and understanding about this. But what does he bring to the table?

Why should a traditional Central European woman choose him instead of a man from our country who speaks our language, knows our customs and traditions, grew up in our culture and respects us according to our standards? To imply that I should be grateful that an American man “chose me” (like I’m some product) is offensive and makes me look like I’m inferior. Very weird logic sorry

7. Some people commented that my post was rage bait or fake because of my English or because “Central European women won’t think like this”. This just proves the ignorance some people have about my country.

Women here have careers, open their own businesses or learn to become doctors, lawyers, beauticians, chefs etc etc. Most of us in younger generations have “modern” mentalities except for some villages but villagers probably won’t go for an American man who doesn’t know a thing about our country haha.

Most of us learn a second language since we are 6-8 years old. My niece literally goes to a bilingual kindergarten and learns two languages at the age of three so I’m not sure why it’s so farfetched that people here speak English well. We are not some idiots who have no idea about the “modern world.”

Most of us speak at least one or two foreign languages (usually English and German, sometimes Spanish) except the boomers and Gen X. They had to learn Russian back in the day… I also use an app to double check my grammar 😛 guilty as charged.

And to the person who said that Central European countries are basically the same as England or France: it sounds like someone failed their history class. Please don’t be ignorant and educate yourself.

8. I told my boyfriend (ex now) that I’d like to break up with him. We had a small conversation on the phone and I told him I wasn’t in a position to continue the relationship for personal reasons. At first he was confused and tried to convince me not to break up but then he accepted it.

9. To the comments that suggested it (and thank you for the idea by the way): I posted my story in local groups so other women can be aware of this whole “passport bro” thing and hopefully not fall victim to men like this. As expected they found the whole thing disgusting and were grateful for the heads up.

We are not here for others’ enjoyment and to fulfill some “submissive wife” fantasy of someone who looks at us as stereotypes rather than individuals with varying personalities and preferences.

10. I’m not against foreigners or mixed couples. My brother in law is Arab, speaks my language and knows my culture. We also speak some Arabic and know and respect his culture too. He didn’t come here as a s** tourist but as an actual worker who wanted to change his life

If you go to a country, go because you’re interested in it and want to learn about a new culture or have some great opportunities not because you want to desperately lie to women just so you can get into a relationship or get some s**.

I can’t speak for everyone in my country but most people won’t tolerate this behavior and will judge “passport bros” negatively. It’s hypocritical to want a traditional wife but constantly move from country to country and woman to woman.

That behavior definitely isn’t considered traditional (at least not in my country haha). If you want casual relationships that’s fine because there are women here who want the same but just be honest about it.

Thank you again for all the comments, explanations and advice. They were eye opening and really helpful. Even though I’m disappointed and feel a bit used, I’m grateful that I know the whole truth now. We live and we learn I guess

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 −  I told my boyfriend (ex now) that I’d like to break up with him. Good. You handled this really well.

dooinit00 −  Sounds like you handled it with maturity and grace. Brava.

Cluelessish −  Well done. I read your original post and got very frustrated at some of the comments, mainly from Americans, who seem to think that women in Europe are somehow backwards. I would say generally women in Europe are very strong and independent. Of course it varies in different regions, but I couldn’t name one country where the women are submissive..?

Jay_pew-pew −  girl I’m Belgian and I confirm that if a man tells me that women must submit, he had better run very, very quickly and hide on another planet 🤣😅
you described all European women in your point 7. even if my country is in Western Europe it’s exactly the same thing. wish you the best 💕

Azerate2016 −  The ideas American conservatists have about Middle/Central/East Europe are really funny. Very recently the whole anti-woke scene in the US had a massive meltdown because Poland recently overthrew a conservative government. They really think that like 90% of people here are like them. No they aren’t.

In fact it’s the opposite. I wouldn’t be surprised if Europe (yes, even the middle and east) had much more modern thinking (“woke”) people than the US has. Also, as far as economy goes, we naturally support socialism much more than they do in the US, both the rightwingers and leftwingers (if you can believe that).

Libertarian types of ideas are pretty much nonexistent here and are on absolute fringes of political spectrum. It’s true that the right wingers share the same “anti woke” ideologies though. They are by no means the majority anywhere.

The problem is they are much more united, and in Europe you don’t need 50% to win the election, sometimes as little as 30% is enough due to different political systems. This is why some of these 19th century political parties are able to win these elections from time to time.

Sufficient_Oil_1756 −  As an American woman, this “traditional wife” trend with men in the US is extremely disturbing. Men like this are caught up with the red pill, MGTOW, super misogynist male influencer content. They want a submissive woman who will cook, clean, raise kids, be their mommy and emotional support,

AND still have a full time job/salary (otherwise they are gold diggers). Many of these men don’t even make as much as the women so they don’t even really want to be “traditional” husbands even by 1950s US standards. Their goals are not based in reality,

they just want a bang maid and for someone to be “lower” so they feel like big men. Unfortunately, they have some weird ideas about mail order brides from Eastern Europe or Asia that would just love to be with a US man and get out of their horrid, poor existence /s…

Which again, is not based in reality. I’m sure this stupid trend is not exclusive to the US, that’s just my experience. It’s frightening how they will get into a relationship under false pretenses and then slowly ramp up their “traditional” crap. Good on OP for leaving and for warning other women. TL;DR: some men are stuck in an alternate universe, be careful out there.

BadgleyMischka −  Everyone who’s trying to make you feel bad about feeling disgusted over this or defending him – f**k off. Seems like most redditor men still do not understand what being sexualized means. Good for you, OP. You deserve better than this. Everyone does.

TheDevilsAdvokaat −  Its become a reddit thing lately to accuse so many posts of being fake. Just as so many pictures used to be accused of being a “shop” (photoshop.)
A lot of posts HAVE been proven to be fake later…but it’s kind of annoying when you post something real and people are over eager to accuse you of being fake,

sometimes on the thinnest evidence. Anyway best of luck and thanks for posting the update, I remember your original.

razzledazzle626 −  You handled this very well! I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through, both with him and with idiots on Reddit.

redralphie −  I hate this “tradwife” crap so much. The ugliest Americans.