I (20F) was uninvited from a wedding that I spent 500$ to go. My boyfriend (23M) is a groomsman. Where do I go from here?

A 20-year-old woman was uninvited from a wedding she spent $500 to attend. The wedding involves her boyfriend, a groomsman and close friend of the groom. The uninvitation is rooted in misunderstandings and accusations, many stemming from the groom’s sister.

Her boyfriend is hesitant to take a strong stance, and she’s unsure how to proceed with the holidays, torn between her love for her boyfriend and the hurt caused by the situation. Read the full story below:

‘ I (20F) was uninvited from a wedding that I spent 500$ to go. My boyfriend (23M) is a groomsman. Where do I go from here?’

I (20F) was supposed to attend the wedding of my “friend” and boyfriend’s (23M) best friend in a few days. However, I just found out that I have been uninvited from the wedding entirely. The wedding is across the country and the plane tickets for it were over 500$ and non-refundable.

My parents bought the tickets as my christmas gift since I couldn’t afford them, but it was a lot of money even for them. My boyfriend is a groomsman at this wedding to a guy who he’s been best friends with and we have been in a friend group with.

When my boyfriend asked him what was happening, he said he didn’t know they were going to run out of space so they had to get rid of all the plus ones, and that I was never actually formally invited, but just as a plus one. On top of this, both of the people getting married unadded me on all social media.

When my boyfriend asked why, he responded that I had “disrespected my boyfriend , disrespected his fiance by talking crap about her to his (groom’s) sister and then also disrespected his sister.” The conversation in which he’s referring to was one HIS SISTER started to me my boyfriend and her roomate one day.

Everything said was agreed on by everyone in the 4 way conversation. Disrespecting his sister? I have no idea where this came from. For context, his sister liked my boyfriend and repeatedly for months this year flirted with and tried to get close to him in front of me. She started being a massive cold b**ch to me out of nowhere when he cut her off.

As far as disrespecting my boyfriend goes, I am not perfect and have made mistakes. the thing groom is talking ab specifically was a tiktok I had posted about a celebrity guy being good looking even though people like to pretend he’s not because of his personality, a conversation I had had with my boyfriend previously. I deleted the tiktok and apologized.

So all of this started from the sister lying to the groom. My boyfriend has said he will “say something, but not because I want to. I’m doing it for you”. That was a slap in the face as I firmly believe my person would not only stand up for me but fully take my side and not go to the wedding.

I told my boyfriend this and he said he can’t just not go bc he’s a groomsman but if we were engaged or married it would be different. We have been dating for over a year. My best friend who knows all these people and was also friends with all of them previous to all of this is out of the country for a year but I told her what happened.

She is furious, and thinks i even need to break up with my boyfriend. The issue is, the tickets for the wedding are also where my boyfriend’s family lives and i was going to stay and visit with them for a few days, and then he has tickets to come visit my family right after. I don’t know what to do. I am pretty hurt.

I wanted nothing more than to have a nice holiday with my family and the man I loved, but I don’t know what to do anymore, and it has been destroying me. It is important to note that I love my boyfriend and he loves me very much. Aside from his sleep schedule, our relationship is perfect and he does a lot for me.

He is very kind and non-confrontational, so this whole situation is driving him insane. I am not really sure what to do. Do i proceed forward and try and enjoy the holidays (not going to the wedding) or do I call everything off and waste all of the money? I am in a tough spot and unsure what to do.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Enough-Pack7468 −  Can you exchange the tickets for airline credit to use another time? Usually airlines allow this.

wossquee −  Everyone in your story sounds terrible. Just break up with your boyfriend and never talk to any of these people again

Next-Drummer-9280 −  Your boyfriend doesn’t like or respect you enough to stand up for you unequivocally.. His friends don’t like you. Your friends don’t seem to like him and his friends. Why, exactly, would you stay in a relationship that constantly puts you around people who hate you?

WinterFront1431 −  Sounds like your boyfriend will be hooking up with sister at this wedding, or that’s what they’re hoping. I wouldn’t care what part in your wedding I am playing, if my partner is uninvited I will not attend.

I’d tell him firmly that if he is choosing to go, then the relationship will be over, and you’ll block him and all his friends as he is showing these people that it’s okay to hurt and disrespect his partner. I’d go on holiday and have a good time being single.

Mapilean −  He acted single and flirted with another girl, and you call him a good partner? 🤦‍♀️

seeingredd-it −  I need to start cutting and pasting this as it is almost my default comment in this situations. I am an old guy who has made many bad choices and I am happy to say also some really great choices too! The most important thing is to not settle for lousy.

There are nearly 8 Billion people of Earth. I know finding someone you connect with is hard and feels unique and special but let’s be honest with 8 billion choices that isn’t really true. You are with someone who seemingly is not that in to you.

If I was with someone and they had “friends” who insulted the hell out of my partner, cost them lots of money and were being exceedingly creepy trying to partner me up with family, I don’t care how long I’ve been pals, that is outrageous, they’d be dead to me.

You are young, you have a world of options, you can go anywhere and do anything at this point. DO NOT SETTLE FOR AN A**HOLE. There are many, many people who will cherish you, be your partner, raise you up to better things. Do not choose anything less than being the best you you can be.

Life is shockingly short and moves very fast. Do not waste your time with crappy people. Always strive to find exceptional people and surround yourself with them. However cynical I may be, I have found that there really are far more interesting and exceptional people in the world than I have time for, I tune out the crappy or crazy ones with amazing efficiency.

You have to take responsibility here and need to respect yourself. Time to make smart choices. I got a few sentences into your story and I was exhausted by it, why in the hell would you even want to be at this awful poison wedding? Yuck!

Boyfriend as described is bad news. D**p him. Who cares about $500. It seems like a lot now. 10 years from now it will seem like nothing. You know what is expensive? Divorcing some asshat you married to young who you finally tire of after they have worn you out with their BS and disappointed you for the 500th time.

The cost of that in time and money is immense. You coming here for advice is divine inspiration. You know you need a wake up call or you would not have asked. Go. Free yourself from those icky toxic people. Make new friends who are nice. You only have so much time, make the most of it.

Plus_Data_1099 −  Sounds like there maybe trying to set the mood for sister and op partner to get close and personal the friend group maybe want them together? Is your partner still going

Cosmic-Princesa −  It sounds like you’re better off not going.

AtmosphereRelevant48 −  Too much unnecessary drama in this story. Just break up, he sounds like an i**ot anyway.

Typical_Nebula3227 −  Keep the flight because they’re non refundable and have a nice holiday. But don’t stay in the same hotel as the wedding people.

This is a challenging situation where misunderstandings, loyalty, and respect are at odds. Should the boyfriend take a stronger stand to support her, or is his non-confrontational nature a valid perspective? How would you handle being caught between love and social dynamics? Share your thoughts below!