I (28f) received the dreaded “hey girl” text after 2.5 years with my bf (29m). Now what?

A Reddit user (28f) shared the emotional turmoil she’s experiencing after her boyfriend (29m) flirted with an ex, exchanged nudes, and confessed to her about it the next morning. The ex-girlfriend then reached out to the user, sending all the screenshots and apologizing.

The user is torn between anger, sadness, and confusion, and while her boyfriend regrets his actions, she’s unsure whether she should end things or try to work through it. She’s now uncertain of where to go from here and whether to push through or walk away.

‘ I (28f) received the dreaded “hey girl” text after 2.5 years with my bf (29m). Now what?’

My boyfriend (29m) and I (28f) have been together roughly 2.5 years, living together for the past 1 year. Yesterday I received the dreaded “hey girl” message on IG and I’m so insanely confused and just unsure what to do with myself.

Details of what happened- the other morning he got a follow request on IG from a girl I believe he’s been with in the past, and immediately slid into her dms 100% flirtatiously. They switched to text, exchanged nudes, then had random causal chit chat continued for the rest of the evening.

At 6am the next morning he fessed up to her that he had a girlfriend and it was a mistake, he didn’t know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. This girl then found me on IG and immediately sent me all the screenshots and apologized for not knowing.

This all happened yesterday morning and now I am stuck in a constant state of flip flopping between anger, frustration, sadness and numbness. When I found out I immediately confronted him and we spent hours talking arguing and crying. He says he’s never done it before and immediately regretted it, which is apparent,

but I just don’t know what to do from here. I’ve always told him I only have two deal breakers, you put your hands on me or d**k in someone else and it’s over. But it just doesn’t feel fair to blow up my life and end everything out of no where like this.

At the moment we are taking it day by day. Where do we go from here?? Push through?? Throw it all out the window?? Help

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

GameboyPATH −  I’ve always told him I only have two deal breakers, you put your hands on me or d**k in someone else and it’s over. But it just doesn’t feel fair to blow up my life and end everything out of no where like this. It sounds like you should reflect on how important this value is to you.

I know it feels like you’re “blowing up your life” if you end things with him, but the alternative is risking undermining your own fundamental values, and demonstrating that your hardline standards can be brushed off.

What I’d strongly recommend is taking this time to consider for yourself: is there anything that can be said or done – by him, you, or both of you – that’d help you rebuild trust? Relationships require trust, and trust is a very personal thing that varies from person to person. Figuring out whether there’s even a possible path forward would be a place to start.

Hopeful_One_9741 −  Exchanged nudes? Honey, that is a dealbreaker. He cannot be trusted. This was not a lapse in judgement, it was an intentional ask. Grab your dignity and end the relationship. Do not listen to his pleas, you deserve so much better.

Complete-Design5395 −  “But it just doesn’t feel fair to blow up my life and end everything out of no where like this.” You aren’t blowing up anything. Your boyfriend is. He decided your 2.5 years together meant less than some random nudes and flirting.

You should honor your past, present, and future self and stick to those boundaries you set.  You deserve better. 100% he will do this again. Do you want to waste another 2.5 years just to hear “I did this but I regret it blah f**king blah?” No.

mrs-poocasso69 −  He had more courtesy to tell *her* that he has a girlfriend than to tell *you* that he cheated.

CanUFeelItMrKrabs −  All it took was a follow on insta. That’s all it took for him to abandon his loyalty to you. Don’t do what I did. I left, he wanted me back. Went back and he ended up cheating and leaving for his AP. Leave his ass and don’t look back!

LongStriver −  Uhh, this is like the easiest automatic break-up ever. The girl did you a favor by letting you know.

Lunar-tic18 −  This isn’t remotely helpful, I know that, but super kudos to that girl for tattling expeditiously, with receipts and an apology. This is honestly and blessing in disguise.

Eastern-Albatross-91 −  Girl… BFFR. He didn’t even confess. She told you, you confronted him, and he knew he couldn’t lie his way out of it, so he had no other option than to come clean. He knew how you would feel if he did it, and your years long relationship mattered less than a bunch of 0s and 1s on his screen.

🙄 I don’t even know you, but I’m sure you’re worth more than a digital image. Also, you know he jerked off to the pics. I mean, come on, what else would he do with them? (Sorry to be harsh) He is not the one for you at this time in your life. Get away from him and block him. Do not try to “stay friends”🤢. He doesn’t deserve it.

Propofolkills −  As a guy, I’d say a few things. 1) It is cheating
2) He didn’t come to you and confess, you were just lucky
3) He probably cheated on her (that’s why she texted you). 4) He’ll do this and worse again
5) You are young . 2.5 years seems a lot to throw away on this turd , but imagine 7 years and two kids later. You know what to do.