AITA for not allowing my son’s father (my ex) to fly on vacation with him?

A Reddit user explains why they refused to allow their ex to take their 3-year-old son on an international flight, citing the ex’s lack of experience, past incidents of losing the child in public places, and concerns about the child’s safety. The decision has sparked mixed reactions within the family. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not allowing my son’s father (my ex) to fly on vacation with him?’

So my ex (47m) asked me (31f) last week if I would be okay with him flying to another country with our son (3m). The little one lives with me but we have shared custody, so he has to ask for my permission, otherwise it could be considered kidnapping.

My ex has never flown before. Never seen an airport from the inside. He has no idea what he needs to do there, where to go and whatever. In general he’s (weaponized) incompetence in person. I also know that he has a short temper and when he gets just a little bit upset or annoyed he will snap at our son and, my biggest fear, he might lose him in an airport. He’s already lost him 3 times in different supermarkets.

The little one can be a lot. He craves attention and is very adventurous so he would definitely run off and keep his dad busy. He’s also very sensitive when it comes to loud noises and strangers.

All of that has lead me to my decision to not allow it. I’ve thought about a “leash” for the kid, but I know for sure my ex wouldn’t use it if I bought one. My suggestion to him was that he should fly on his own first so he knows the procedure on airports and hotels etc. I told him that I’m perfectly fine with him taking the little one on vacation as long as they can get there by car.

I told my mom about the situation and she said I was overreacting and I should let the ex do what he likes. My sister in law said it was a tough decision and she understands where I’m coming from.. So, Reddit, tell me, AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Dismal-Wallaby-9694 −  The fact that he’s lost the kid in supermarkets tells me automatically you are NTA.

Mathalamus2 −  why does he have custody at all? he sounds like a very bad parent. NTA, and keep your ex away from your child.

kitrose4 −  You know your ex & you know your kid. Trust your gut it doesn’t matter what others think. You’re being very fair with compromise to let him travel with son by car. NTA.

Rough_Touch_8485 −  Take him to another country, where he wouldn’t have to bring him back noooooope.

Lizzydeathstar −  NTA. My son just turned 4 five days ago, and I, as a person who has flown all over the world, am leery about the idea of taking him on a plane. That age is incredibly tough to begin with and if the Dad himself has never flown and has flat out lost him repeatedly, I would say no as wellm.

ND-gamer-geek −  He has already lost his child 3 times, and an airport is a lot more hectic environment than a supermarket. If he can’t keep track of his kid at a supermarket, an airport is gonna be even more of a risk, and there’s no way he should be allowed to take the kid out of the country by himself. If he was with a responsible family member the whole time who could keep him on track and keep an eye on the kid, then maybe, but even then, I’d still be worried. NTA.

laughinglovinglivid −  NTA, although I am going to suggest you should fight him on shared custody, seeing as he loses your child often and has a temper.

urgasmic −  Info. Why is he trying to take a three year old out of the country?

Admirable_Broccoli_5 −  NTA I understand why you don’t think it’s a good idea, trust your instincts. From what you have written i wouldn’t let him take my child If it was me.

Organic_Garage7406 −  NTA, protect your child.