My (27M) fiancée (24F) has ‘accidentally’ lost/broken three engagement rings now… I’m starting to suspect she’s doing it on purpose

A Reddit user (27M) shares his frustration with his fiancée (24F) after she has “accidentally” lost two engagement rings and recently broke a third—this time a family heirloom given by his grandmother. Despite his attempts to approach the situation calmly and get clarity, his fiancée became defensive and angry when questioned about the incident. The user is now questioning whether these “accidents” are intentional and seeking advice on how to address the situation. Read the full story below.

‘ My (27M) fiancée (24F) has ‘accidentally’ lost/broken three engagement rings now… I’m starting to suspect she’s doing it on purpose’

I’ve (27M) been with my fiancée/girlfriend (24F) for three years now. I proposed a year ago, but it definitely wasn’t out of the blue – she’d been not-so-subtly hinting at getting engaged for months at that point. Although we’re both somewhat hot-headed, we generally have a good relationship and we occasionally only fight about small, normal things.

I know NOTHING about jewellery, but I spent a lot of time looking for the right ring to propose with. I talked to two of her closest friends to get their input, and in the end I spent around $4000 on the ring. When my fiancée saw it, she told me she loved it and I’m pretty sure she was telling the truth.

This January, my fiancée called me up in tears. She’d somehow lost the ring on her way home from work and she had no clue where it might be. I left work early to come help her search, but since she’d been riding the subway, the ring was long gone.

My fiancée was clearly distraught, so a few weeks later I dipped into my savings and bought her a different ring. It wasn’t quite as expensive as the last, but it was from the same jeweller and still a good make.

Around June, I noticed one day that it had been a while since I saw my fiancée actually wear her engagement ring. She went pale and confessed to me that she thought she’d taken it off before bed one night and now it was lost somewhere in our flat. This time we searched for days and I dug up half the floorboards looking for it, but the ring is (to this day) missing.

At this point, buying another ring was out of the question (too expensive) so I asked her if she’d rather either a) have a cheap replacement ring (under $50) until after we’re married, or b) go without a ring for now. She chose option b.

One day we were visiting my grandmother, who asked my fiancée where her ring was. When we told her it was lost, my grandmother was kind enough to give my fiancée one of her rings instead.

My fiancée seemed delighted and everything was working out perfectly until this week. I came home to find my grandmother’s ring on the table, looking almost unrecognisable. My fiancée cried and told me that she’d managed to step on the ring that morning hard enough to break it.

I took the ring to a jewellery repair service right away. Sadly they told me that since a few small stones are missing and the original fitting is warped, the ring will never really be the same. They also told me that they were certain someone stepping on the ring couldn’t realistically cause this amount of damage.

When I got home, I brought this up to my fiancée and asked her if she was 100% sure she’d only stepped on the ring. She completely flipped and yelled at me asking if I was calling her a l**r. I mentioned what the jewellery store said, and she started screaming about me only caring about money and the ‘cost’ of the rings. It’s been two days and we’ve barely spoken, especially as she’s only coming out of our bedroom for meals.

TL;DR: my fiancée has lost two of her engagement rings and now she’s broken a third. When I tried to talk with her about it, she exploded. Any advice on how to handle this?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Jen5872 −  Start checking pawn shops for the first two rings.. Edit: Thanks for the award!

Angel777Angel −  Do you think she sold the previous rings??

EarthWormJim18164 −  A jeweler has just told you that damage didn’t happen from it being stepped on. They have no incentive to lie to you. Don’t let her gaslight you

CoronaFunTime −  This is not an accident. I was ***terrified*** of losing my ring when I first got it but that’s not really possible unless you take it off. So, I always put it straight in my pocket. For being on the ground and stepping on it… no. She would have to run it over.

I’m betting she has an addiction (gambling, shopping, maybe drugs) or high debt and has been selling the rings. The ring in mangled because she used pliers to get the rocks out. The small stones are gone because she sold them. The other rings are gone because she sold them.

Fatt3stAveng3r −  I wouldn’t give her any more rings, she clearly doesn’t value them.

Crickaboo −  If you really want to give her another ring make it a tattoo instead. Put it on her finger and if she accidentally amputates her finger then don’t get married.

SmallerKitten −  Buy her several copies of a cheap but nice looking ring and when she loses one, you bring her one of the copies and say “Honey, I found your ring” and see if she is shocked or happy about it.

ThatSlothDuke −  Yeah, as you know by know – They probably weren’t accidents. An engagement ring isn’t just any piece of jewelry and it’s value isn’t it’s cost – it’s something that represents the bond you share and the strength of the relationship. And she has “lost” it 3 times. You should look into it more – no matter her reaction.

And her reacting that way is also a bad sign. It looks as if she doesn’t want people to know that she’s engaged. I advice you to clear this up before you marry that girl. Good luck ✌️

RebaRocket −  Let her pay for the next one – bet she doesn’t lose/damage THAT one! Edit: …that’s IF you move forward with her. Big IF.

tiniekittie −  She’s lying to you. She’s been selling the rings and will keep asking you for new ones until you stop buying them. If I ever lost the ring my partner got me I’d be absolutely devastated and nothing would be able to replace it, no matter how expensive. She doesn’t care and is using you. The fact she was willing to break her grandmothers ring just so you’d buy her a new one is horrible…

How would you handle this situation? Is it possible that these accidents are happening by chance, or is something else at play? Share your thoughts below!