Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”

A Reddit user overheard his wife telling a friend that she “settled” for him and married him as her “last resort,” which deeply hurt him. After some emotional exchanges, including a confrontation where she claimed she was “just joking,” he decided to end the marriage. The situation escalated, with her becoming hostile and leaving the home. The user plans to annul the marriage and has been seeking advice on how to cope. Read the full story below.

‘ Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”’

Update 2: Just did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Today after breakfast I told her we should “sit down and talk.” She was hesitant, but I said it was important. We went to the living room and she said to me “I already know what this is about.”

My post apparently made it to the front page, so of course she saw it after scrolling down a bit under “popular.” Of course the water works started happening right away. I told her what she said had deeply hurt me, but obviously she already knew that since she read my post.

Through her tears, she said “I was just joking, I wasn’t serious.” She then went on saying stuff like “I love you, I love you.” I told her I can’t be in a marriage where my S/O doesn’t love me the same way I love them. She tried to tell me that she loved me and that I meant something to her. But it was all b**lshit.

She said she “didn’t want to lose me.” I told her I don’t think this marriage was the right decision. And from there I basically told her it was over. I told her I knew how she really felt about me, and that it was fucked yo she basically played with my emotions.

For all those wondering, we have no kids, and I pay fully for the apartment we live in, and I own almost everything we have other then her clothes. I even pay for her car. So after all of this she’ll have little to nothing left. Before our marriage, we agreed to sign a pre-nup, and at that moment, I’ve never been so happy with a decision I’ve made in my life.

After that it was a few second of awkward silence, before she said to me “F**k you.” She started screaming at me, telling me “you just can’t end things like that.” I told her I could do whatever I wanted, and that’s when she became very hostile. She screamed at me saying, “You’re the f**king worst relationship I’ve ever been in.

You think I can’t find someone again?” “Do you think you’ll ever from someone as good as me? You’re a f**king i**ot [my name].” She grabbed her bag and phone, and said “I’m leaving!” Before slamming the door behind her. At that moment I felt like I was on one of those dramatic sitcoms you’d find of TV.

I sat down on the couch and cried, and I’m still crying as I type this up. It’s both happy and sad tears, and I knew it was only time before she cheated on me or left me. She never loved me, it was obvious. Our relationship only went one way, and I feel like a complete i**ot for not seeing it earlier I live in California, and I’m gonna start the process to annul our marriage.

Tomorrow, I’m gonna start throwing all of her belongings in to trash bags, cause that’s essentially where they belong. (I’m not throwing out her stuff. Just using the trash bags as a way to give her back the things she owns.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind words and your great advice. All of you gave me the courage to stand up for myself, and I know my life will certainly improve as a result.

Edit/Update: Thanks everyone for the kind words! Really has made me feel a lot better! Going to be talking to her soon. Also, I noticed a lot of people thinking this post is fake, I understand how it could be seen that way, but it isn’t. I’ve been engaged to her for over a year and a half, and just 3 months ago we got married.

Not really used to calling her my “wife” yet. Also I used an old alt since she uses Reddit. Anyways thanks for the advice everyone, it amazes me how people on the Internet can care so much about a person they don’t even know. I’m going to talk to her today. I will be updating you all soon after.

Edit: Meant to put wife in the title but now I can’t change it. Basically the title. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. This friend is in a serious relationship. My wife then said to her, “Sweetie, remember it’s your choice. Don’t settle for just anyone. That’s the mistake I made.

Who knows who else I could of had. [My name] was my very last resort, and now look where it made me end up.” Hearing that honestly broke my heart in two. Does she even love me? Why am I being treated as a second base? Am I being dramatic and overreacting? I haven’t said anything about it since. I honestly don’t know what to do, but hearing her say has really made me upset.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

jeremy_jm −  Be your first choice

wildlymedioxre −  F**king brutal. I am so sorry to hear that. You should really talk to her about it. You should never be somebody’s “last resort” if that’s how she really feels maybe that relationship isn’t working

Bleafer −  I’m really confused by why she would say you were her last resort when she’s only 24.. did she have a deadline to meet or something?

ChayHawk −  Damn man that’s f**king stone cold. Someone who loved and respected you wouldn’t say that man, I would tell her you heard her and are done, but that’s me, I couldn’t continue being with someone who was only with me because they wanted stability and didn’t care about me.

thebispymyguy −  You should probably confront her about it, but be civil. It will alsways bother you if you just leave it. Also, keep your own happiness in mind. Will staying with her make you happy in the long run, even if you know she isn’t?

ketita −  I think you should talk to her about it. You deserve much better than being someone’s “last resort”. Have there been other signs in your relationship that she’s not fully behind it? Do you feel like she’s ‘putting up with you’?

Can you think of any reason why she might have chosen you for this dubious honor? I’m terribly sorry. It’s such a s**tty thing to deal with. But question – are you already married, or is she your fiance? Just because it’s easier to break up an engagement than a marriage.

IainKay −  I know it’s going to be hard but you now need to be strong and tell her she can find someone else to love her.. You don’t deserve this.

Daedolis −  Is she your fiance, or your wife? If the former, I’d say you need a serious talk. If the latter, I really hope you guys signed prenups, and you met a serious talk.

CBJKevin91581 −  So an under 24 year old woman had to settle for OP as a last resort? Doesn’t make sense to me. 99% of Redditors would tell her she’s still really young with plenty of time to find someone. This post is most likely….well, you know…

Ze_Pig777 −  You do what you must but if i personally heard that i would call the whole thing off.

Have you ever experienced a moment that made you realize a relationship wasn’t what you thought it was? How did you move on from it? Share your thoughts below!