This morning I (27M) found out my gf (27F) cheated on me, where to go from here?

A Reddit user shared their experience of discovering that their girlfriend had cheated on them just hours before they planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day together. After finding another man in her apartment, the user learned of a brief affair, leaving them devastated and unsure of how to move forward. Read the full story below for the emotional fallout and the tough decisions made in response.

‘ This morning I (27M) found out my gf (27F) cheated on me, where to go from here?’

So our valentine’s day plan was to get dinner and spend the night together but I asked my boss if I could come in late as I had some stuff I had to do. However I went to her place this morning to drop off a bouquet of flowers and another gift as a surprise. She gave me a key to her apartment and when I went in there was another guy eating breakfast while she was sitting half n**ed in a robe drinking tea.

As soon as I walked in she saw me and burst into tears. The guy looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. I freaked out at first and the guy left. She kept asking what are you doing here, I thought you had to work and saying she was sorry. I tried asking her questions and she wouldn’t answer. Eventually she admitted she met him at a bar a couple weeks earlier, they chatted and wound up fooling around in her car and had slept together three times since then.

I took the flowers and the gift and left. I’m sitting at work right now because if I went home my mind would be on her and thinking about whatever they were doing constantly.

We’ve been together 3 years and were planning on moving in together later this year. I was looking up rings. She said it’s because I was her first properly serious relationship and she has no idea why she did something so stupid and selfish. She thought I wouldn’t find out and planned to end it eventually as it was just a brief fling. I asked if there were any others but she said no. Idk what to believe at this point.

The kicker is that my birthday was yesterday. We had lunch and got a hotel room together. We had dinner at my place with my folks and I dropped her off at her place around 9.30 as she said she had some stuff to finish doing before valentine’s day. I trusted her for fucks sake. How and why the f**k do people do things like this to others? What am I supposed to do from here?

TL;DR spent valentines day morning learning my girlfriend is a c**ater and the details of that cheating, sitting at work staring at my screen

*edit at roughly 1:30PM. : I broke up with her, I told her I’ll be by later to get my s**t and to have it ready. I’ll be taking her stuff over and giving her back her key.*

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

aussielander −  You have to look on the positive, you have avoided marrying this woman. Ignore her BS about breaking up in the future with this guy.

Esorelyk −  That’s disgusting on her part. Wow. Anyways, you dont have kids together, you dont even live together, so leave. The trust is broken and without that theres nothing. No halfway decent person does that to someone they claim to love. Get the f**k out of it. Sorry this happened, my man. Best of luck.

[Reddit User] −  This is so raw. So making any decisions right now will be hard. And if you feel like holding on to her, it’s understandable because you’ve just had a huge shock. But here’s something to consider. What if you had not shown up unexpectedly? How much longer would she carry this on? He’s having breakfast.

I’m sorry but I’ve had just hook ups while I am SINGLE and breakfast to me is more of a couple type thing. Maybe that’s just me. They have been hooking up for a week and they’re obviously so comfortable they’re sitting down having breakfast like a couple!

She left you on your Bday to hook up with another guy?! Look at her priorities. Cheating can happen and people do sometimes resolve issues. But seriously, I think if you hadn’t caught her, she would have continued and not ever told you. Think about what your worth is and what you deserve.

Edit: THANK YOU (to whomever gave me) for my FIRST Gold!!!

sn00p3r −  Break up. No Contact. Move on.

Flurb4 −  Get tested.

[Reddit User] −  She is the epitome of an awful person. be glad you found this out now. and under no circumstances do you get back with this girl. she will say anything, bring on the crocodile tears, etc. block her on social media and ghost her. if there is one thing i regret, it is that when i was your age i wasted WAY too much time dealing with women like this. you realize how obviously bad it was and you feel embarrassed.

coolthingsnheaven −  GOD what a piece of s**t girl. Especially since your birthday was yesterday!!! So what, after spending the day with you she then hooked up with him Cheating once, drunkenly, is one thing (I guess-it at least means there was a possibility they didn’t intend to/wouldn’t have otherwise) but continuing to hook up with him weeks later is just fucked up, that’s not just cheating that’s an affair.

She obviously has feelings for him if he spent the night & woke up there *on valentines day* so she’s lying about the insignificance of it too I’d say. Please, don’t take her back. If she’s 27 and still trying to use the whole “oh you were my first serious relationship I don’t know how to behave” as an excuse then that too is bull.

I’m 21 and I’m still in my first serious relationship of 4+ years. I know several people my age (even someone who’s 18) who are still in their first serious relationship & have never cheated. It isn’t an excuse. This post really made me angry, like god what a garbage person she is for doing that to you. So so sorry dude.

[Reddit User] −  Similar boat 🙁 leaving and building my life again

kmoneyrecords −  Dude. I usually refrain from posting on some of these cuz everyone’s got problems but I can’t bite my tongue on this one. She is borderline a s**iopath…right around both your birthday and Valentines? Are you kidding me? Especially when it seems like you’re putting in tons of effort, like wtf…no counseling, no reconciliation, no second chances, do not pass go. Get the f**k out of there and see it as a cruise missile dodged. What a f**king slag

lenerz −  OP, I am a female around your age and I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. The actions of your girlfriend disgust me. I would never do such a thing to my boyfriend. God forbid I even kissed somebody or they kissed me, I would tell my boyfriend RIGHT AWAY because I’d feel so guilty and gross.

She not only slept with him THREE TIMES, but your birthday was yesterday and she slept with him last night after sleeping with you and spending time with your family… That is just terrible in every which way. She is incredibly selfish and has zero *real* respect for you.

That being said, there is a real girl out there right now who will one day, maybe months or even a year from now, be way better than this girl. You will have a life together and a beautiful, healthy relationship. Maybe this future girl is dealing with the same bs right now, imagine that.

Fate works in mysterious ways but just because you spent 3 years with this current girlfriend and you have common friends, etc., doesn’t mean you should stay with her by any means. Please OP, do yourself and your future girlfriend/wife a favour and end this. Cut all contact. Give her no chances.

You will never get over this and you’ll never trust her again, and she’ll probably do it again to be honest. Good girlfriends don’t do this s**t; Somebody who really truly loves you would never act this way. You deserve better. I wish you luck & I’m sorry you’re going through this today of all days.

Have you ever experienced something similar, or how would you react if you were in the Redditor’s shoes? What advice would you offer for moving on from betrayal like this? Share your thoughts below!