AITA for asking my aunt to pay for a broken fish tank?

A Reddit user shared their experience about asking their aunt to pay for a broken fish tank caused by her son during a family gathering. After the incident, the aunt’s reactions led to an escalating conflict, with accusatory messages and refusal to settle the matter. Despite attempts to communicate and resolve the situation, the aunt continued to ignore the user and their family. The user wonders if they were wrong for requesting compensation for the broken tank or if their aunt’s behavior was out of line. Read the original story below to dive into the details of this family dispute.

‘ AITA for asking my aunt to pay for a broken fish tank?’

Last holiday season, my parents hosted my mom’s side of the family at our house. My aunt (mom’s sister) and uncle have three sons, all of which can be quite rambunctious and destructive. At one point they started playing with our pool table in a room where my 50 gallon empty fish tank was set in a corner, completely out of the way. The boys were shoving pool balls across the table with their hands, often partially throwing them. The youngest (around 9 or 10) ended up throwing one too hard, and the ball bounced and hit the tank, which shattered. I brought this incident to my uncle’s attention, and he said he would pay me back for it.

However, after the event they left without discussing the matter. So I texted my aunt and told her what happened, including how I told my uncle at the event and was promised compensation for the fish tank. I never got a response, however, my mother received a slew of accusatory messages about her supposedly trying to rip her off. My mom calmly explained nobody was angry or out for money, but the accident did need to be handled.

She continued that her adult daughter (me) was the one she needed to discuss this with, not her. I again reached out to my aunt letting her know I was the one she should talk to, there was no reason to be angry at my mom, and all I wanted was compensation for the tank. I attached a link to a website that sold the tank so she could see how much it cost.

She again did not respond and sent my mom more angry messages about how she was being manipulated and ripped off, the cost was unreasonable, and she should only have to pay what I paid for it. I bought the tank secondhand for a much lower price, but such a large fish tank is very expensive new, so replacement costs were much higher than what I paid.

My aunt sent my mom many other n**ty messages as well. My uncle had remained calm up to this point, even ordering a new tank from a pet store and emailing us the pickup code, which only made my aunt more furious. In order to ease the situation and keep my aunt from having something to hold over us, my mom and I told my uncle to return the tank, we wouldn’t accept it. My aunt decided to get mad about us declining too, saying we had ripped her off just to shove it back in her face.

After we declined, my aunt stopped contacting and responding to my mom. At family events and occasions where my grandparents needed help, she ignored my mom and refused to say a word. I have not seen her since the day her son broke the tank. It has been over a year and the ignoring has persisted. I am getting married this summer, and plan to invite her to show that I was not and am not a petty child and still consider her family, but I highly doubt she will attend. So, AITA for asking my aunt for compensation for an expensive fish tank that her son broke?

See what others had to share with OP:

TeenySod −  NTA. Not gonna lie, my heart sank when I saw the title, was very relieved to see that the tank was empty, your aunt would be on the hook for a WHOLE lot more (water damage to the room, let alone loss of animals) if the tank had been stocked. Your aunt is probably embarrassed by her children’s bad behaviour, she is completely over-reacting though.

Dexter79 −  You should have accepted the tank your uncle purchased, but otherwise NTA.

piqueboo369 −  NTA. And you’re probably better off with her ignoring you and keeping her distance anyways. They should’ve compensated you, and the fact that she blew up like that, even after she got her way, makes me assume it probably doesn’t take a lot for her to create drama. So not having that much to do with her might save you from a lot of drama.

redd-junkie −  ESH. Your aunt for sure sucks the most. It seems like there were several opportunities to resolve this situation that were missed. Initially you went to your Uncle to report the incident, who in turn said he would compensate you for the fish tank.

Then for whatever reason you followed up with your aunt to find out about the compensation. But rather than ask for what you paid for the used tank (that wasn’t even being used) you asked for a much more expensive brand new one.
So your Aunt gets her panties in a wad and then your Uncle tries to resolve the situation by purchasing you a new tank, which you then refused.  Now s**t is just weird all around. 

Misticdrone −  Oh grow a pair, dont act like a doormat to keep the peace and all that bs crap. Your aunt is a shithuman, why would you want here on what is suposed to be a happy day for you?

DetectiveDippyDuck −  Let’s be clear, your aunt is absolutely the AH here. But I am baffled by some parts of this. We refused the new one (I initially wanted to keep it) because my mom knows my aunt would have used it as an excuse not to pay for other destruction in the future due to being “ripped off” already. She wasn’t paying for destruction *now*. What makes you think she would pay for any future destruction?

In order to ease the situation and keep my aunt from having something to hold over us, my mom and I told my uncle to return the tank, we wouldn’t accept it. My aunt decided to get mad about us declining too, saying we had ripped her off just to shove it back in her face. I’d honestly be pretty mad too if someone asked me for something then declined it when it was offered to them. And she’s still holding it over you, so what did declining accomplish?. NTA.

SpacedesignNL −  Why did you discuss with your aunt? Your uncle said he would solve it. Why not talk to him?

BaRiMaLi −  ESH. I was leaning towards NTA, but then you said your uncle ordered you a tank and you decided you didn’t want it. That just made the whole situation worse.

Y2Flax −  Why the heck would you decline the tank? It’s literally what you’re asking for…

dalealace −  I think you might be inviting more drama along with inviting your aunt to your wedding OP, but let us know how it goes.