Update: my girlfriend is acting obsessed with this random family she just met

A Reddit user recently discovered the truth behind their girlfriend Maggie’s close bond with her coworkers, Joe and Kate. Initially concerned about Maggie’s seemingly obsessive behavior, they uncovered a decade-long friendship that explained everything.

The revelation also highlighted their own inattentiveness due to ADHD, prompting them to take responsibility and seek help. Read the original story below to see how they came to this realization.

‘ Update: my girlfriend is acting obsessed with this random family she just met’

As a quick summary: I thought something weird was going on with my girlfriend “Maggie” who became quickly and extremely close to her new co worker “Joe” and his wife “Kate.”

After just a couple weeks, she was trusting Joe with everything work related, babysitting their children for free and buying them gifts, having the kids call her auntie, putting this family above her other friends, inviting the family to Maggie’s family Thanksgiving, and referring to them as her chosen family. I thought that either this whole thing was some kind of cover for an affair or Maggie had attachment issues.

I figured out what was going on and I feel like a huge i**ot. I went to see Maggie to ask for an explanation and figured if I didn’t like what I heard I’d break up with her, because either she was cheating or had an emotional issue I couldn’t handle.

I had the opportunity when I saw the gifts Maggie had gotten for Joe and Kate’s kids. It seemed so strange for someone who doesn’t really like kids that much to go so overboard for kids she just met.

I asked Maggie why she gave the kids such special treatment even though she doesn’t really like kids that much. Maggie explained that she felt differently about these kids because she had been around to watch them grow and was close to Joe and Kate, so the kids are more like family to her, which means she treats them differently than other kids and they’re the exception to the rule.

Maggie said she’d probably tone it down eventually, but since they were so young she wanted to get them something really nice for Christmas. I wasn’t really sure what to say next because it seemed so irrational, but then Maggie said that she used to exchange Christmas gifts with Joe and Kate too,

but that they had all decided it was too much trouble and unnecessary so these days she usually bakes them something or gets them a nice bottle of wine.

I realized I was missing something important. If Maggie had other Christmases with Joe’s family, she couldn’t have just met them like I thought. I had thought that Maggie might have emotional issues that made her attach herself to people she barely knew, but I didn’t think Maggie was actually crazy enough to imagine that she knew them before. I didn’t want to ask, so I acted normally until I left.

When I got home, I went through Maggie’s Facebook. She wasn’t lying and she’s not crazy. I found a ton of photos with Joe and Kate going back a decade. From what I can figure out, they all went to college together, Joe and Maggie were Big Brother and Little Sister in a coed frat/sorority, and Maggie and Kate were roommates.

I also found pictures of Maggie as a bridesmaid in Joe and Kate wedding and pictures of Maggie holding their newborn children so they are obviously close friends who have known each other for a long time. All of Maggie’s behavior makes perfect sense now that I know all this.

I think this whole thing is my fault. I have ADHD and I don’t handle it well. I’ve had issues when people are talking to me for awhile, where I start zoning them out. I’ve been called out for this before. I think it’s pretty likely that Maggie did tell me about Joe and Kate and I just wasn’t listening.

Maggie hasn’t actually done anything wrong or creepy so I think it’s more likely that I wasn’t listening when Maggie explained instead of this being a trick. This was a pretty big wakeup call for me. I’ve been ignoring my problem because I didn’t want to face facts that it was serious but I know I need to do something before I make anymore mistakes. I’m going to start off by looking for a therapist.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

anti0pe −  I’m glad you’re getting some help. Sorry you had to go through this confusion. I must admit, this is an entertaining twist in the story.

Lamzn6 −  I hope this post helps others see the bias of this subreddit. Everyone automatically assumes the OP is telling them everything they need to know which is ironic because in almost all conflicts there is misunderstanding. Where there is misunderstanding there is often missing information.

Commenters usually take the side of OP. Statically it is very improbable that only people who are more in the right, come to post on Reddit relationship advice subs. Good on you for coming back here and owning up to a personal issue that you can now properly address. Awareness is half the battle.. Best wishes.

lilyraine-jackson −  Imagine an alternate universe where you just went “so, how long have you guys known eachother?”

LucyintheSky0018 −  I don’t understand why you jumped to the conclusion that she just met them?

softnmushy −  Next time you’re confused about your GF’s relationships, or other things, just say, “I’m sorry, maybe I wasn’t paying good enough attention when you told me, but why are you \[insert confusing issue here\]?

You’ll find that, half the time, people will admit they forgot to tell you something really important. Or they will be basically okay with the fact that you sometimes space out, as long as you’re honest about it.

kindasfw −  uhh you could of just asked your gf how she knew them

[Reddit User] −  This is so fuckin weird. I can’t wrap my head around why OP wouldn’t just ask such a simple question to clarify things.. Bizarre.

[Reddit User] −  Yikes I kinda had a feeling it was leaning this way. You were acting really judgemental and acted like you knew her like the back of your hand for a short term relationship. I’m glad you’re getting a wake up call now and will be going to get help

[Reddit User] −  Wow this is 6th sense level kind of twist. If this is story is true, it’s more than adhd. I get being distracted and not listening properly, but this is something else.

ohnoguts −  So… Maggie has normal relationships like a normal human being. Got it.

Do you think the Redditor handled the situation well once they uncovered the truth? How important is communication and self-awareness in maintaining healthy relationships? Share your thoughts below!