My (22F) boyfriend (24M) is a “passport bro” and I had no idea

A Reddit user shared her distressing discovery that her boyfriend, who claimed to move to her country for work, is actually part of the “passport bro” community—a group of men seeking relationships abroad based on stereotypes about women. She now feels dehumanized and betrayed, struggling to confront him about what she uncovered. Read the original story below:

‘ My (22F) boyfriend (24M) is a “passport bro” and I had no idea’

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Things have been going really well between us up until a few days ago. I’m from a Central European country and he’s American. He said he settled in my country because of work opportunities. We met in a coffee house where I work as a barista.

We clicked instantly and started going out a few weeks later. Everything was so good and we had so much fun Fast forward to last week: he asked me to help him with some documentation. I was happy to as I know my language is hard to understand and even translate sometimes.

When I was searching online on his laptop I stumbled upon some weird websites. They were all about “passport bros” (I didn’t even know what the hell that was at first) and basically had tips on how to settle in foreign countries, where to find a “traditional bride”, which country has the most beautiful women etc. I was shocked and so confused

I know I shouldn’t have done it but I wanted to gain some clarity and checked his profile on one of these websites. He had full on conversations about Eastern European countries, European women, how easy or hard it is to take them out on dates, if it would be better to settle down in Asia instead and so on. He decided to settle down in my country

I feel dehumanized and like he fetishized me and the women from my country. Also, our whole relationship has been built on a lie because he told me he settled down here because he got a job offer

After I found all this stuff I quickly took a few pictures as proof and then made up an excuse to come home. He tried to reach out a few times but I told him I don’t feel well so I can’t meet up right now. I can’t even look at him. I feel so disgusted. Am I overreacting? How can I confront him about all this?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

offbrandbarbie −  If you guys live separately I’d just text him the pictures and Inform him you don’t plan on being his ‘docile euro wife’ and let him know that one thing European women and American women have in common is none of them are going to settle for a weirdo

NoDanaOnlyZuuI −  Visit the passportbros subreddit – it’s an eye opener. End the relationship.

Imnotfullyawake −  I would just exit the relationship. You’re both young and you have time to find someone who will respect you. My understanding is passport bros want submissive women who do all the labor (and likely still contribute 50% financially). It’s a lose/ win situation for you

[Reddit User] −  Oh good God no. A quick ” I’m sorry but on reflection this isn’t a good fit for me, I no longer with to be in contactwith you” And then move on. You are not required to say why. You inform him that you’re no longer interested because you are a decent human being and also because you want him to know that you no longer want to be in contact with him.

Last thing you want is him persistently reaching out thinking that maybe you’re ill or some such. No, break it off clean and then block. That way you also have a record incase of harassment.

RuthTheAmazon −  You’re upset because he sees you as a stereotype rather than a person. I don’t know if you can come back from this – he came to your country and picked you out like a normal person goes to a supermarket and buys a punnet of strawberries.

That’s incredibly creepy and dehumanising. Rather than worry about his feelings, thank your lucky stars you found out now! It’s a good thing you aren’t stuck with this l**er!

bilateralincisors −  Don’t bother. Block and move on — he doesn’t sound like he’s worth the effort.

[Reddit User] −  * You’re not overreacting. * You are being dehumanized and fetishized.. * Your feelings are valid. No need to confront him. You can give him a generic, “I’m no longer interested” text and be on your way. I don’t think ghosting is an option because he knows where you work, but I’m not sure the passport bro fight is worth it.

[Reddit User] −  Every dude in this comment section telling you this is okay, is a l**er. How could you ever look at this dude the same again? Move on and find someone who didn’t leave their own country because they can’t stand the thought of being in a relationship with a woman who is their equal so they need to travel

(not only did he travel, he did extensive research on how to) trick some foreign woman in her own country to be a “traditional” and “subservient” wife.

FredChocula −  Passport bros are f**king creeps. I’ve seen that sub and it’s filled with the weirdest, creepiest guys.

TheTyrantOfMars −  As a man let me tell you this behaviour isn’t as bad as you think… it’s worse this kind of mindset parallels some other truly awful thinking that’s peddling around the darkest parts of the internet: so PLEASE run like the wind and never speak to this Taterphile freak again

Do you think the Redditor is justified in feeling betrayed, or could there be another explanation for her boyfriend’s actions? How would you approach confronting someone about such a revelation? Share your thoughts and advice below!