After a first date, I (26M) asked the girl (24F) a common relationship question. Her answer shocked me. How would you respond to this?

A Reddit user shared their wild first-date follow-up experience with a woman they met online, Mia. After a promising coffee date, the user asked a bold question via text: “Are you dating with the intent to marry?” Mia’s lengthy reply included a bizarre statement about “breeding” and “good DNA,” leaving the user stunned and unsure whether she was serious or trolling.

A deeper dive into the situation revealed it was all a language mishap, but the awkward moment stuck with him. Read the full story below to uncover how this miscommunication unfolded.

‘ After a first date, I (26M) asked the girl (24F) a common relationship question. Her answer shocked me. How would you respond to this?’

I’ve been diving into the world of online dating for a while now, and let’s just say it’s been an adventure. A recent first date, however, left me completely speechless, and not for the reasons you’d think.

I met this girl, let’s call her Mia, through a dating app. She was quirky, funny, and seemed to have a unique perspective on life—right up my alley. We grabbed coffee, had a nice chat, and things seemed to go pretty well. Afterward, I decided to keep the momentum going and text her.

Now, I’m a straightforward kind of guy, so I figured I’d clear the air about my intentions early. I asked her, “Are you dating with the intent to marry?” I know, it’s a bold move for a first-date follow-up, but in my defense, she had joked earlier about me having commitment issues when I said I’d never get a tattoo. That comment lingered in my mind, so I thought, why not just clarify where we stand?

The response I got was…something else entirely. Mia replied with not one, not two, but five paragraphs. And nestled in the middle of all that text was this gem: “When I date, I am looking for someone who has enough standards that reaches my expectations for breeding. I’m looking for good DNA for my future child, and I have a weird obsession for how I want my kid to look like and the personality traits.”

I sat there, phone in hand, absolutely stunned. Breeding? Good DNA? Expectations? The words “red flag” were flashing in neon lights in my brain. Who even says things like this?

I stared at the screen, torn between fascination and disbelief. Was she trolling me? Was this some sort of elaborate joke? I mulled it over, re-reading her text like I was analyzing ancient scripture.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to seek clarification. I texted her again, starting with an apology for asking such a serious question after just one date. I even offered to call her to clear the air. She responded graciously, saying there was no need to apologize and that she appreciated my honesty.

But when I asked if her initial response was sarcasm, she hit me with this: “Yes, I was telling you my intentions and my point of view on dating. Did it sound like I was trolling? lol.”

So, it turns out she was dead serious. My mind spiraled—was she into eugenics? Did I just step into a Black Mirror episode? I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or run.

The next day, things took an even stranger turn. Two of her friends dragged me into a Discord call to clear the air. Turns out, Mia’s first language isn’t English, and her phrasing was…unfortunate, to say the least.

What she meant was that she values compatibility and shared values in a partner because she’s thinking long-term about raising a family someday. “Breeding” was just a poor translation of her thoughts.

I laughed it off, relieved but slightly embarrassed by my overreaction. In hindsight, the whole thing was kind of hilarious. Mia and I didn’t end up going on a second date, but at least I walked away with a story for the ages—and a reminder to be a little more patient when interpreting texts.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Wonderful-Put-2453 −  Tell her you’ll get out of her way so she can get on with her eugenics program.

vicariously_eye −  lmaooooooooooo i’m dying at that being one of five messages. i wouldn’t respond to it. i’d move on and keep it pushin

AHeroToIdolize −  Yeaaaa I would not move forward with this. Being “obsessive” over future children is a huge red flag. What if they don’t look exactly like she wants? Will she not love them as much? So many potential issues. It’s one thing to say you are looking for a good partner and father for your potential kids, this is something else.

lazybutterflywings −  Holy wow… if she’s this obsessed about DNA and looks now, imagine the kind of mom she would be! What if she got a child that…gasp…. didn’t meet her expectations? How demanding and awful she’ll be to her children? I honestly don’t think I would respond, I’d just walk away.

Firm_Emu6470 −  Bro, I think she was being sarcastic.

No_Seaworthiness_393 −  My interpretation is she found your question bizarre, determined you’re not compatible and replied very sarcastically. Whether she’s f**king with you or serious though, sounds like you’re incompatible. Part of this dating stage is determining your incompatibility so you don’t waste your time in a relationship with them. Success!

Btw, in the future, a less offputting way to ask your question is “what are you looking for?”. In general, try to ask questions that are open ended rather than forcing people into the binary of what you value. You’ll still get your answer, but without alienating other people.

trytryagainn −  This reads as a sarcastic reply to a question she didn’t think was appropriate. It’s hard to tell tone over text, but it seems to me she took your question and upped the ante significantly. If you like her, I would ask for clarification before writing her off.

KelsarLabs −  I can read her very sarcastic reply easily, lol.. Texting makes this so much worse.. TALK to her dude. TALK.

Gullible-Field-2937 −  She is messing with you. She found your question weird and icky after a first date so she gave you a weird and icky response.

iamsampeters −  Share all 5 paragraphs.