How do I (18f) reject an insanely c**ngy (20m) after first date?

A Redditor shared her uncomfortable experience after a disastrous first date with a man who turned out to be overly clingy and disrespectful. Despite her clear boundaries, he insisted on intruding on her plans.

Showed up uninvited at her workplace, and behaved inappropriately. Now, she’s seeking advice on how to reject him assertively, as this is her first time navigating such a situation. Read the original story below:

‘ How do I (18f) reject an insanely c**ngy (20m) after first date? ‘

So I went on a date with this guy yesterday and from start to finish it was one big mess of red flags and icks, also I thought he was 19… He is insanely c**ngy after meeting literally one time, for example I gave the date a clear ending point by saying I would have to leave to go to the gym that evening to which he enthusiastically insisted he joined.

I ended up saying in that moment a simple no I’d like to go by myself. He then started trying to force himself into my gym plans the following morning. Then he showed up at my workplace today which made me insanely uncomfortable, being so disrespectful as to vape inside of the small independent store and demand to be able to use my staff discount.

The worst part is that after we parted ways last night, I never even sent a single follow up message so he did all this and I hadn’t even texted him in the less than 24 hours. How do I reject this man please I’ve never had to reject someone before…

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

bee102019 −  You just have to be forthright. Tell him you’re not interested, wish him the best of luck. If he persists, tell him you find his pushiness concerning, and tell him not to contact you again. Then block. I’d also consider alerting your job about this individual should he continue trying to contact you.

stellastellamaris −  This isn’t c**ngy – this is CREEPY. “Hey it was nice to meet you but I am not interested in another date. Good luck.” BUT ALSO – why does he know where you work,

there is no reason for that info to be given to anyone you barely know. Please document his messages and actions (date, time, what he did, how you felt) and if he continues to stalk you, contact the police.

stevencri −  This is more than just c**ngy, this is creepy and aggressive. It seems like you’re under reacting here tbh. Text him and tell him that while you had a good time on the date (even if you didnt), you’re not interested in continuing things further with him. If he doesn’t leave it there and insists on seeing you, block him. If he tries to show up in person, call the police.

Pinwurm −  That’s not c**ngy, that’s stalker behavior. So be vigilant. In most cases, a simple text like, “I had a nice time yesterday, but I’m just not interested in moving forward. Best of luck with your future dating!” should be enough. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint, but if he reacts poorly or says something n**ty, be prepared to block his number and all his socials.

actualchristmastree −  “I do not want to date you, please don’t contact me any more.” I wouldn’t block him right away bc I’d want to know how bad he is, in case he’s going to threaten to show up at work or the gym

[Reddit User] −  This happened to me. No matter how much I told the guy to f**k off he wouldn’t take a hint. I then told him I lied about my age and was actually 14, that did it for him. He was upset and stopped contacting me. Sad I had to lie about my age because telling him to go away wasn’t enough. 

fit_it −  Given your other comments, is there a friend who can come escort you home from work or someone who can walk you to your car for the next few weeks after you tell him a firm “no”? This is super red flag, danger behavior. God, and they wonder why we chose the bear.

[Reddit User] −  I would have the police reject him with a no contact order. No way in hell I would do that in person. I would also inform my work that he makes me feel unsafe and that if he shows up during your shift again he will need to be escorted off the property. There’s an entitlement this boy has that slips into unhinged territory.

HauntedMike −  I know someone like this dude. If you dance around the issue, try to spare his feelings, or go light in any way, it will get worse. As a friend I have told him to leave girls alone that he’s hyper fixating with and to him its flirting. To them they have to switch jobs because he WILL NOT STOP THE CHASE.

Be direct, Be blunt. No nonsense. he most likely will not respond to anything else. You gotta just flat out say, “I am not interested in dating you, you showed up to my workplace and were disrespectful. I am blocking you now, do not contact me again.”

Telling him you’re blocking him asserts that it is game over and that he won’t be shouting at a wall getting riled up. The fact that this one date dude has already been to your work i’d say alert your work about him.

[Reddit User] −  I’d be very careful with this type of person, be direct, be firm, and be very vigilant. I don’t want to alarm you but, you need to make it very clear that you do not want any sort of interactions with him, be very firm in your delivery of this message, don’t leave any doors open and if in person don’t smile at him, don’t make jokes, etc.

Take note of every instance that you run into him, locations, times. and contact the police. Also if possible share your location with friends and family at all times and have someone check in with you whenever you leave the house. Hope this doesn’t turn into anything serious

How would you handle rejecting someone who ignores boundaries and behaves disrespectfully? Should the Redditor be more direct, or is there another way to manage this uncomfortable situation? Share your advice and thoughts below!