Step brother [16M] came to my [16F] room at night and cut my hair with scissors. I moved out and parents want me back with him still there.

A 16-year-old girl shared her experience of a disturbing incident with her 16-year-old stepbrother, who entered her room at night and cut a small piece of her hair with scissors. After discovering this, she left her home and sought refuge with her siblings, who are adamant that the situation is serious and unsafe.

Her parents, however, want her to return home, suggesting family therapy and a door lock as solutions. They believe the incident is not a big deal, while the girl’s siblings feel it was highly inappropriate. Now, she’s conflicted about whether to return or stay away, with her best friend advising her to report the incident to the police.

‘ Step brother [16M] came to my [16F] room at night and cut my hair with scissors. I moved out and parents want me back with him still there.’

Step brother of 6 months. My mom married his dad. So a few weeks ago in a morning I noticed my stuff in my room had moved. I told my brother (big bio brother, 23) and he didn’t take me seriously but taught me how to record my room at nights with my phone. I’ve been recording myself every night and nothing happened, so I was ready to believe that nothing had happened that night.

This weekend however, step brother came into my room at about 3:15am. He came to me with scissors, cut a small piece of my hair and left my room. It was so weird and shocking. It was a very small amount, something I likely wouldn’t have noticed. I sent the video to my siblings (brother and bio sister, 19).

They told me to pack a bag immediately and picked me up and took me with them. They sent the video to parents. Parents questioned step brother and he says he doesn’t remember doing it at all and said he was likely sleep walking and asked to see a doctor. I don’t believe him and neither do my siblings.

Parents want to solve this problem by taking both of us to family therapy. They want me to come home and discuss this (all four of us). They say I’m not in any real danger, as he didn’t hurt me or do anything inappropriate or s**ual.

My siblings strongly disagree and say what he did was very inappropriate and they’re not going to let me go back there as long as step brother still lives there. Parents say they will install a lock on my door so that I can lock myself in at nights.

Step father is upset at my siblings and claims they’ve turned this into a much larger issue than it is, he says they could have just parented the problem away by punishing and it’s not a big deal.

Honestly I keep hearing everyone with strong opinions about this and I don’t know who’s right or wrong. What should I do? Do I go back? Do I just never go back? My best friend says I should just go to the police and press charges against step brother.

tldr: Step brother snuck into my room at night and cut a small piece of my hair with scissors. I’m now staying with siblings and parents want me back, siblings want me to stay and I don’t know what to do.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Whatbecameofyou −  Listen. To. Your. Siblings. Your Mom wants you to just grin and bare it so she can have a happy little home with her new husband, both of them are in denial over how serious this situation is. Your step brother for sure needs therapy, but you do NOT need to be in the house when that happens. Stay away.. Big no. HUGE no.

Grimdarkwinter −  as he didn’t hurt me **or do anything inappropriate** or s**ual. On what planet is that appropriate?

wutiguess −  If they’re so confident about how non-threatening it is, tell them to tell all their friends and family and see what kind of reaction they get.

angelcat00 −  Step father is upset at my siblings and claims they’ve turned this into a much larger issue than it is, he says they could have just parented the problem away by punishing and it’s not a big deal.

You gave them a chance to fix the problem by parenting and they suggested that you need family counselling to convince you that it isn’t step-bro’s fault. Then they offered to lock you into your room at night.

[Reddit User] −  Step father is upset at my siblings and claims they’ve turned this into a much larger issue than it is, he says they could have just parented the problem away by punishing and it’s not a big deal. I bet he wouldn’t have the same tone if it was his own biological daughter getting assaulted.

TreeCityKitty −  Everyone seems to have forgotten that the stepbrother has been in OP’s room before. Did anything seem to be missing? If so is it would seem he is taking trophies and that is not a good thing. Stay away.

tdkerfuffle −  Don’t go back under any circumstances as long as he lives there. What he did to you is legally a**ault in many jurisdictions. He can literally go to prison for it. He needs help, but you don’t need to be involved. Ask your mom to provide financial support and transfer your guardianship to your brother and stay there until you turn 18.

Exact_Lab −  Before you caught him cutting your hair you suspected someone was moving things in your bedroom. This is a**ault. Your stepbrother is a c**ep. You are not safe in your home. Stay with your siblings. Do not go back. Your stepbrother will likely escalate his behaviour and do other things to your body while you are asleep.

SuzyQ06 −  Family law attorney here. But this is not legal advice. You need to consult an attorney in your jurisdiction/state. Google child welfare attorney in [your city]. Have your sibling go with you. Just get the lay of the land.

Because you aren’t 18 yet, you actually cannot contract with an attorney in most circumstances. Take the video and whatever other documentation you have. If there are other things that seem odd about your stepbro, bring it up during the consultation.

Make a single individual therapy session with a counselor who specializes in s**ual issues, trauma response, or something similar. This is not necessarily for you! You just want a counselor who can ID some of the hallmark issues in your stepbrother.

Don’t sleep at that house. Don’t go to family counseling. Counseling with an abuser/perpetrator is just another opportunity for you to be victimized. When you talk with the attorney and the counselor (for you, not family) spare no details. If there is something you don’t know, don’t speculate.

Just the facts. Both the attorney and the counselor are likely “mandatory reporters” if something needs to be reported to child protective services, one or both will do so. But calling the police is not something you need to do (unless you want to, and if so, go for it). But consulting a lawyer and a counselor are very natural things for you to do right now, and this action will deflect any blame from you if CPS is called.

Frankly, if the kid is 16/17 and doing this, he’s done it before and is likely a victim himself. CPS probably does need to be called. FYI, if you call CPS yourself, the identity of the caller is ALWAYS confidential.

Regarding hiring an attorney: don’t look for free consults. Don’t be scared of a consultation fee. Free consults are worth what you pay for them. Don’t rely on Google either…lawyers pay for clicks so keep that in mind. Look for “board certified” in child welfare or family law. I’m in Texas.

Other states may have other ways of distinguishing specialized attorneys from others that I am not familiar with. AAML = American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers is pretty exclusive, b snotty. Call one of them up (any lawyer will give you 15 min for free) and ask for who they refer “child welfare” cases.

When in the phone this is your elevator pitch: “I’m 16, living in a blended family with my mom, stepdad and step brother. I think my stepbrother has assaulted me, but my mom is wanting me to go to family counseling with my stepbrother.

Can you give me some names of child welfare attorneys that I can speak to to learn about my rights here?” Also, completely forgot about victims advocacy groups. They can help you immensely as well.

imakesawdust −  Why do your parents think YOU need to go to therapy for something HE did? This isn’t a he-said-she-said situation. You have video evidence of the incident. This is purely your step-brother’s doing.

This situation raises important questions about boundaries, trust, and how to address potentially disturbing behavior in a family setting. What do you think should happen next for the girl? Should she return home to try and work through it with her parents, or is it better to stay with her siblings and seek outside help? Share your thoughts below!