UPDATE – I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don’t know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.
A woman shares that after reflecting on her feelings for her coworker, she took the step to explore a romantic relationship. They’ve gone on a few dates, and after discussing her feelings openly, her coworker, Laura, has fully accepted her. She now feels happy, content, and supported by both her partner and her family. While still uncertain about intimacy and sex, she is optimistic about the future. Read the full story below.
‘ UPDATE – I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don’t know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.’
I wanted to say thank you all you guys gave me a push to try something that I was on the fence about. For the first time in a long time I feel happy and content. I managed to sort my feelings out and realized that this is what I want.
We went on a few dates, and it went well, nothing huge since we are both leery of COVID. But I was able to present myself as her girlfriend, to her circle of friends and I had no issues with that. Most of her friends were very supportive.
Last night I pretty much told Laura everything I had said in my reddit post, and she fully accepted what I said, and seemed happy. I am also really glad I told her because apparently after the cottage she felt that I was not interested in her as anything more then a friend, and was going to move on emotionally.
She also has given me a drawer, a copy of her house keys, and a toothbrush and has told me I can stay there whenever I want, and if I really wanted to I could just move in since we have basically been living together almost since COVID started.
I will be honest I also realized that I don’t know a whole lot about Laura, and she was completely comfortable telling me anything and everything. Which made me feel very comfortable. We also talked about work, and she said she is going to transfer to a different team, just to avoid any complications from that.
I also told my parents about what is happening, and my mom was okay with it, however my dad was extremely supportive, and told me it didn’t matter I am his daughter and that is all that matters.
The only thing still bothering me revolves around intimatcy/s**, which are things I don’t know about. I told Laura about my confusion around that and she has assured me not to worry and when the time comes it will be fine. I am probably rushing into stuff too much, but I feel happy for the first time. So thank you for helping me reddit.
TL;DR; I am finally able to find happiness, and it is working out. So thank you reddit. I need to sleep, but i will answer what i can tomorrow thank you for all the positive comments, it feels great.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
chickenuggetballs − Laura wants to take it slow because you are new to these feelings, she is doing the right thing. There is no need to stress about s** all the time, you should only start when your ready. And even when ready make sure to take a slow to make sure you are comfortable.
KrNiTa − That’s awesome news! Congratulations on your budding romance!
miada001 − this is so sweet. i’m especially happy to hear that your family has been accepting, you’re moving at a pace that feels comfortable, she’s switched teams at work so the power dynamic/boundary issue at work is handled, and that you’re able to be open with Laura and vice versa.
i know it can be really hard and confusing to come to terms with your sexuality, but be patient with yourself. it’s your life and you get to do whatever makes you feel good. have you checked out the sub r/latebloomerlesbians?
i know you may not identify as a lesbian (now or ever) but that is a really supportive community where you’ll be able to read others’ stories and ask questions about sexuality/intimacy if you want to. best of luck to you and i’m so happy for you 💜
StereotypicalChicken − Omg my gay heart is melting! I’m glad you found happiness together!!
MorgainofAvalon − Sounds like you found a wonderful thing. Good luck to both of you. 🙂
techsinger − I’m glad you are happy, and especially that your parents are supportive. Be grateful, as this is often not the case. I hope it goes well for both of you!
savsheaxo − So happy for you! I hope you don’t feel pressured to label yourself as anything either. The way I see it, as long as you’re happy in your relationship it shouldn’t matter what your sexuality is! Nobody fits perfectly into a label and I hope you feel comfortable just being yourself and not worrying if you’re bi or gay or pan or anything else on the spectrum. Enjoy your new relationship❤️
Freya-Frost − Congrats! Glad Reddit helped you get the happiness you deserve
WeBeDragns − Don’t move in yet. Take your time but keep your own place. When starting a relationship you don’t start out by living together.
kaylakalay − The fact that she already offered for you to move in is hilarious. Super typical lesbian vibe lol… but I’m not judging because my wife and I were married less than 7 months from our first date, and we lived in different countries 🤣🤣
Anywho, as far as intimacy questions go it is best to ask her. Porn is unrealistic and asking the internet about intimacy will just leave you more confused because everyone likes different things. Don’t be embarrassed to ask her questions, I promise that she was wondering the same things when she first started exploring women. You can also ask for tutorials 😉
It’s amazing how much clarity can come from being honest with yourself and others. Have you ever had to face uncertain feelings in a relationship? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts below!