UPDATE I’ve been putting off introducing my [28M] girlfriend [26F] to my parents [60sM/F] because they’ll be weird about her weight

In a follow-up to his earlier post, a man shared an update on how he handled introducing his girlfriend to his judgmental parents. After warning his parents about their potential behavior and setting firm boundaries, the conversation quickly soured due to his father’s repeated insulting remarks.

Ultimately, the man decided not to introduce his girlfriend in person and is considering flying his mother out alone instead. His girlfriend, understanding the stress it caused, reassured him that meeting his parents wasn’t worth the tension.

‘ UPDATE I’ve been putting off introducing my [28M] girlfriend [26F] to my parents [60sM/F] because they’ll be weird about her weight’

Thank you to the many commenters who offered good advice. Including to call in advance and let my parents know how it was going to go down if they wanted a role in this new part of my life. Went like this. Paraphrasing of course.

Me: Hey Mom and Dad, You know I mentioned a girlfriend a few times. We’re moving in together so I’m thinking I’ll bring her out.
Mom: Oh that’s nice. First week of December maybe?

Me: Sure. Look there’s one thing though. She’s not thin. If you make a comment or so much as look at her weird, we’re done, we’re going home. I love her. And she would never intentionally make you uncomfortable, so I expect you to show her the same respect.
Mom: But you have so many prospects and a good job why would you—

Me: No. This is exactly what I’m talking about.
Mom: Fine. I’m just happy I finally get to meet her.

Dad: *Insulting weight related comment*. Me: What the f**k dad?
Mom: Oh babe give it a rest, it can’t be that bad.

Me: No if there’s any chance of that sort of commentary, I’ll just not come. I have zero tolerance for this. You’re going to treat her with the respect she deserves or you won’t get the chance to s**ew it up.. Dad: *Insulting joke*

Me: Ok, bye. If you wonder why [brother] is buying a tux for a wedding you’ve heard nothing about in a year, maybe two, think back to this conversation.
Mom: No, wait, I’ll make sure his act is together by the time you’re out here.. Dad: *Insulting comment*. Me: I’m hanging up.

So it looks like I’m going to fly my mom out here, not sure when. Probably not soon. My girlfriend saw how much stress this was causing me and I started a more in-depth conversation about it and she basically said “It would be nice if I could meet your parents and we could get along but it sounds like that won’t be possible and it definitely isn’t worth putting you through this.”

So thanks for the comments and help. For now it’s a non issue it turns out.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

backwardsneeze −  Your girlfriend is very lucky to have a guy like you. Good job.

notthegoatseguy −  Honestly your mother seems to be restraining and just not saying her comments. “It can’t be that bad” and “you have so many prospects” sounds like dinner topics could include “OP, remember X, the girl you took to prom?

Wasn’t she nice and lovely” and stuff like that. Good job on dad, but be cautious with mom too. EDIT: Wow, 2k+. Had no idea this was still going on. Thanks everyone.

[Reddit User] −  Fantastic. You handlded that beautifully. Also, f**k your dad.

OurLadyOfCygnets −  Your father sounds like my mother’s husband (not my dad, thank God). They took me and my daughter in when I was leaving an a**sive relationship and had nowhere else to go, then they had me do the cooking and cleaning and charged me rent.

My mother was fine, but her husband was constantly making cracks about my weight and lack of a full-time job. Every dinner had me in tears at least once. Mom would sometimes tell him to stop, but he’d start in on her about various things.

Eventually, I met my husband, and on the day of our wedding, he told my husband, “It’s not too late to back out.” He still doesn’t understand why my husband hates him.
I’m glad that you see all that is awesome about your girlfriend and won’t let family drive a wedge between you with their antiquated notions about worth.

I wish you and your girlfriend a lifetime of happiness and family of your choosing.

purplegirl1511 −  Good work

mamapantherx2 −  Your girlfriend sounds amazing. So glad you guys are on the same page and are equally supportive of each other. Sorry about your Dad though. He sounds like a ass but hopefully he’ll learn some tact and class the longer you guys are together. It’s not just about your girl, he shouldn’t be treating anyone that way and should respect you as well.

desdmona −  Good for you for standing your ground. Parents can be asshloles about many things and, as someone who has but her parents out of her life before, sometimes they do come around. It can take awhile, sometimes even years, for them to realize you’re serious.

Your girlfriend deserves all the support, it’s not easy living with an eating disorder, and I’m so glad you are there for her. Wish you guys all the best.

bodyofnature −  Can you do another update when your mum eventually meets her? I would love to know how this goes on

CanisLupusBaileyi −  That’s great to hear! just remember, a 5’2 female weighing 200 lbs is definitely not something you should dismiss btw. That’s a serious health issue that will only get worse if she doesn’t take care of it. This has nothing to do with appearance, is health and longevity and I am glad she has you to count with.

She needs genuine support from someone that loves her. Edit: I never intended to put down anyone. I understand weight itself wasn’t OP’s main concern and it was more about his j**k parents, but after reading all of the comments I felt like throwing it as a reminder would be a good idea because I do personally wish more people would’ve been honest yet tactful with me about my weight gain.

I struggled with weight issues in my early 20’s but was able to turn my life around and I can confidently say I have not been overweight since I was 23 years old. I won’t apologize for getting myself healthy and wanting others to do the same.

burnthiswhendone −  Your dad sounds like a f**king s**iopath. Jesus. How can someone be THIS uncomfortable about someone’s weight?