AITA for not visiting my family as often as they’d like?

A Reddit user (28F) shares a family conflict over her not visiting as often as her dad and sister would like. She’s a mom to a 17-month-old son with a challenging temperament and has faced physical and logistical challenges, including recovering from a fractured pelvis, dealing with a difficult newborn stage, and now lacking a functioning car. Despite attending all major events and celebrations, her family is upset about her reduced casual visits, leading to a heated argument. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not visiting my family as often as they’d like?’

Context: I(28f) had my son(17months) recently, my dad(59-60) and sister(30) don’t come by all that often and I don’t either. I have never missed a get together, event or birthday. We found out a few months ago that, during the end of my pregnancy and recovery from my c-section, I had a fractured pelvis. This had made it hard to sit in a car let alone drive. I’m better now but my car died about a week ago.

Recently they visited my grandmother and didn’t tell me, instead chosing to say they didn’t think I could make it because of my son’s nap schedule. I told them that was my concern and not theirs. This caused a big argument where my dad brought up how they had been patient when I had to leave early to care for my cats (I had a diabetic cat who sadly passed away this year), while you were pregnant (I don’t know what he meant) and when you had a newborn and for nap schedules.

Now my son was hard as a newborn, he had infant dischezia in which he would suddenly scream at the top of his lungs to poop, he also started teething at 2 months and at the same time we had a soya sauce bottle explode in our kitchen at 2am, this caused him to no longer sleep well, even to this day.

I haven’t visited much due to having been in pain, having a difficult child in car rides, not being able to drive without pain and my dad’s dog having snapped at my son. Neither my sister nor my dad want to take responsibility for the dog and ignore it when it’s mentioned. I will mention they are both allergic to cats as well, which I understand and respect them coming anyways. Tldr: my family is upset I don’t visit them often outside of get togethers, events and birthdays. Yet I’ve tried to explain to them why. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

rara2591 −  Wtf? NTA. Dad and sister should be making the effort to see you and your kid the majority of the time. It’s easier to move two adults from point A to B than it is yourself and a toddler. My sister recently said something about a similar situation; If they really wanted to see you and spend time with you and your kid, they would. Def sounds like they’re making excuses. Sorry OP 😔.

AlrestWhenImDead −  “My dad’s dog having lunged at my son. Neither my sister nor my dad want to take responsibility for the dog and ignore it when it’s mentioned”. This is where I draw the line. Father dearest needs to get his hellhound under control if he ever wants to have his grandson around again, full stop. Absolutely NTA. Keep doing right by your son.