My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I’m feeling resentment towards her and I don’t know how to move past it.

A man is grappling with resentment and mistrust after his wife’s actions led to a lawsuit and financial ruin. His wife engaged in a year-long harassment campaign against her former best friend, resulting in an overwhelming legal defeat.

The fallout has left their savings wiped out, their marriage strained, and his perception of his wife shattered. Now, he’s seeking advice on how to process his emotions, rebuild trust, and recover financially and emotionally as a couple.

‘ My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I’m feeling resentment towards her and I don’t know how to move past it.’

Recently, my wife was sued and lost. The settlement has completely drained our savings and emergency fund, leaving us in a precarious financial situation. I’m finding it incredibly hard to move past the resentment I feel toward her, even though I know we’re supposed to be partners in this marriage.

As the primary breadwinner, I’ve always been proud to support us and build a safety net for emergencies. But now, seeing all that hard work wiped out because of her actions has left me angry and deeply hurt. Here’s what happened: over the course of a year, my wife engaged in a sustained campaign of harassment against her former best friend, “Laura.”

It started when my wife created fake LinkedIn profiles to impersonate recruiters and sent Laura messages. Through this, she gained Laura’s personal email and used it to track down her social media and other information. Then, my wife sent derogatory messages about Laura to her coworkers, including false claims of dr*g use.

She even reached out to Laura’s husband, accusing her of infidelity, and provided fake “evidence” to back up her claims. Laura and her husband, however, were prepared. They saved every piece of correspondence and even went to extra lengths to prove my wife’s claims were baseless.

For instance, Laura provided dr*g test results, location data from Google Maps to disprove the fake affair timeline, and a paternity test to refute my wife’s accusations. Laura also sought therapy to cope with the harassment and had coworkers, friends, and family testify to the emotional and professional harm caused.

The breaking point came when my wife discovered the details of Laura’s baby shower and decided to show up uninvited. At the event, held in a semi-public venue, my wife mingled with guests she didn’t know and spread cruel rumors about Laura’s pregnancy and family. Word quickly got back to Laura, who confronted her.

By this point, the pieces of the harassment campaign had come together, and Laura decided to sue. During the trial, the evidence against my wife was overwhelming. The messages, the testimonies, and Laura’s visible distress painted a painful picture.

Laura shared how being pregnant while enduring relentless harassment affected her health and happiness. She described the anxiety of seeing her reputation, relationships, and one and only baby shower disrupted. It was clear that this ordeal caused significant emotional trauma.

What makes this even harder for me is that I never saw this side of my wife before. She’s always been a little petty and jealous, especially toward old friends, but it never went beyond idle complaints. I never imagined she was capable of such obsessive and harmful behavior. Until now, our marriage had been happy.

We rarely fought, shared many interests, and supported each other. This incident, however, feels like a betrayal of everything I thought I knew about her. I want to move forward, but I don’t know how. Therapy seems like an obvious answer, but with our finances in shambles, I’m hesitant to take on another expense.

I’m also struggling to trust her. If she could hide something this extreme from me, what else might she be capable of? At the same time, I know we can’t stay stuck in this limbo of resentment and financial stress forever.

I’m reaching out for advice on how to process these emotions and rebuild both my trust in her and our financial stability. How do I begin to forgive her? How do we recover from this—emotionally, financially, and as a couple?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

scelestus66 −  That is absolutely not normal and your wife clearly has some serious issues that I think you (and she, obviously) need to start addressing. That level of harassment, and the duration of it is frankly terrifying, and I feel like you should be concentrating on dealing with that, rather than just the financial fallout.

[Reddit User] −  That’s divorceable. Your wife is a psychopath

[Reddit User] −  Wow, all that and all you’re feeling is *resentment*? Buddy…RUN

mysecret8account −  Imagine if she put the same effort into learning day trading or something. You two would be rich.

mysecret8account −  Dude, that is a crazy story. The amount of time she spent doing this versus spending time with you, working or anything otherwise constructive is insane. For sure she needs therapy. You would be completely Justified if you wanted to leave her now.

[Reddit User] −  Actions have consequences. I think your wife is lucky this was dealt as a civil matter and not criminal actions. Plenty of comments here detailing what sort of person your wife is. But I find it interesting how this is a post without a hint of considering divorce. You have zero backbone.

Your wife tried to ruin someone elses life. Ruin her career, break up her family and caused her extreme stress that may last her a lifetime. Then to top it all off like the doormat you are, you dipped in to your life savings and sold items I’m sure you have worked hard for many years to acquire.

You should of left when you found out but you didn’t. Instead you decided to financially ruin yourself over your wifes actions instead of leaving. Do you really believe for one second this is the only thing she has been up to during your entire marriage?

What advice are you asking for? How can I continue to be a doormat reddit for my 12 year old psychopath wife? That ship has sailed. Leave her and re-build your life before this women takes you past the point of no return and ruins you before you’re too old to bounce back.

[Reddit User] −  Dude what the f**k!? Why are you worried about the money? Your wife is the kind of person they make true crime Netflix documentaries out of. GET THE F**K AWAY.

Mention-It-ALL −  Holy s**t, what your wife did was extreme and pretty terrible. You SHOULD be feeling resentment towards her. She should be finding extra work and paying the debt off herself. This isn’t on you. I can tell you if it was me, I am not sure I could get past it and I sure as hell would’t be paying financially for her deliberate and sustained harassment of someone.

Mr_StupidGES −  Yeah this isn’t a car accident or something silly this is straight harassment. You are basically her get out jail free card, F**k that. She can pay for what she’s done, have her pick up a job to pay you back in the meantime and think about a divorce. What if you f**k up? If she was willing to ruin her best friends’s life she’s going to ruin your life.

ayrscot94 −  What the f**k, the money would be the least of the reasons I’d be resenting her. That is psychotic.