My(24m) mother(56f) is really pushing me to have a friendship with her boyfriend(30 something m) . UPDATE

A Redditor (24M) shared an update on his recent confrontation with his mother (56F) after discovering she was cheating on his father. He informed his father about the affair, which led to a difficult confrontation with his mother.

After the revelation, his dad and the Redditor had a heartfelt discussion, but his mother’s emotional reaction caused further tension. Four days later, the Redditor feels a sense of relief but has chosen to remain estranged from his mother. Despite his mother’s attempts to reconcile, he has decided to maintain his distance. Read the full story below.

‘ My(24m) mother(56f) is really pushing me to have a friendship with her boyfriend(30 something m) . UPDATE’

Well i don’t think anyone cares about it but im a verry private person irl and i needed to get this out of my chest. I visited my parents five days ago sense the lockdown got louser and basically i just let it all out.

I was afraid how my dad would take finding out my mother was cheating, but it actually was much better than i expected. he got really sad and angry at her but he didin’t get angry at me, actually we had a really good talk about our family before i left. My mom was just as bad as i thought, she cried, she yelled, things even got physical. Long story sort i told her i hated her and she is dead to me then my dad send her to stay in our vacation house.

All these were 4 days ago. Im back to my apparment now. My dad isn’t sure if he will stay with her or not, we have been talking every day cause i want him to feel supported. My mother has been calling and texting but im done with her hope she gets the message soon. Honestly these past few days i have been feeling great like im 50 kilos lighter.. ​

tl;dr I told my dad my mother wascheating on him and told her she is dead to me.. ​

EDIT: Dad decided to take her back, im still not on speaking terms with her.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

jacksbunne −  That must’ve been so hard to keep secret. Know that none of what follows is your fault. She made her own choices, and your dad will make his own choices. No matter what happens, you aren’t to blame.

Deyaa1989 −  I would take some time off by myself to clear off my head. Sorry to read what happened, and I hope you feel better soon.

tomhoq −  How did you hold it for an year!??

FilthyWishDragon −  Cutting horrible people out of your life sure feels good doesn’t it? I hope you encourage your dad to do it too so the whole family can be free of her. Either way, keep supporting him and way to go.

Charmerismus −  I missed the original but appreciated the update as I read it in two parts, like an extended post. It’s always nice to follow up since there’s no way for anyone to ask how things went and you’d be amazed how many people care at least a little!

hakunamiataco −  24F here. My mother kind of did the same thing to me a few years ago. I was 17 at the time, and she came forward to me about her affair because her boyfriend’s wife called my father and told him about everything. It was pretty crazy, both my parents got me and my sister too involved in the whole situation. I just know that at some point she wanted me to meet the guy, and I actually did go meet him. It was pretty fucked up.

Years went by, and therapy helped me process a lot of what happened. One of the explanations for my mother’s behavior was she was seeking validation. I just want to let you know it’s okay to feel like you need to get that off your chest, and there’s probably a whole lot more to come.

Remember they’re adults in their own relationship, and my advice would be stay out of it as much as you can. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t support your father or anything. Just try not to get too involved in the fights and small situations that will arise from this almost every day, for your own good. And find a friend or someone you can talk to about what you’re feeling and how you’re doing.. I wish you the best.

char99f −  I’m really sorry that your mother put you in the middle here. A similar thing happened to me a few years ago and it took years for me to trust in and respect my mother again. I hope that you are doing okay and you don’t blame yourself at all, telling your dad was the best thing you could have done.

AnonyWonder −  Good for you! That’s just what I would have done

fattestb1tch −  Sorry for your situation OP. Keep supporting your dad and you’ll get through this together.

[Reddit User] −  Good for you! I’m so glad you said something. Thi would have been very hard to deal with. Support your dad as much as you can. It’s a very hard thing to go through. I’m glad you’ve cut her off, she has done a terrible thing.

Family dynamics can be incredibly complicated, especially when trust is broken. Have you ever had to confront a difficult family truth? How did you navigate the situation? Share your thoughts below!