[UPDATE] Girl [20s?F] who my [23F] ex [23M] cheated on me with reached out to me. Not sure how to respond.

A Redditor shared an update about receiving an unexpected message from the woman her ex had cheated on her with. New revelations, including a pregnancy and a candid conversation with her ex, provided closure about their breakup and the events that followed. Read the full update below for the details.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/kDmkB

‘ [UPDATE] Girl [20s?F] who my [23F] ex [23M] cheated on me with reached out to me. Not sure how to respond.?’

I never responded back to Jessica and basically told her that while I understood she was guilty there really isn’t anything she can and should do for me. Just that she has to make better decisions now and hopefully her guilt would mean she wouldn’t hurt another person like that again.

During the Holidays, my ex’s dad greeted me a Merry Christmas. I was also told of the news that Jessica was 4-5 months pregnant with my ex’s child. :O It lines up now, and I guess that’s why she messaged me, because they found out around that time. Just wish she was really sorry lmao.

After that my ex and I had the chance to talk. While of course I was still not ok with the fact that he cheated on me, I wouldn’t wish ill on an unborn child. He has a lot of growing up to do, and is not the most financially stable person. It also turns out the girl is quite young. I told him that I wished him well despite everything.

His dad told me that he still believes he can make something of himself. When my ex and I talked, he admitted to me that the reason he cheated was because he knew I was already going to break up with him.

This is partly true because months before, I sat him down and talked to him about issues in our relationship, and I had wanted to bring his attention to the fact that things really were no longer healthy. I guess it was my prelude to an amicable break-up.

He told me that there really was a better way to break things off, but that he was too scared to be alone after breaking up. So he made sure he had someone to run to when we finally broke things off.

I just really wish we could have ended things better, he was my best friend. The news shocked me, but in a way I guess I was able to get closure. I’m currently in a good and healthy relationship and starting the year with a really great outlook.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

SBCrystal −  2019 is going to be your year!

MamaDMZ −  Well, you dodged a bullet for sure.. too bad Jessica didn’t, poor girl. Thanks for posting an update, and I truly hope you never have to deal with another childish man again. Hugs.

suusen −  Now you can cut all ties with them and move on with your life op!! 🙌🏼 Wishing you the best and I Hope you will find someone you deserve soon❤️

beermeajackncoke −  I never responded back to Jessica and basically told her… So you responded or not? I’m glad this situation is finally over for you but I just don’t get why you are interacting with any of them at all in the first place.

peacockypeacock −  Why are you still in contact with these people? Leave this mess in the past.

fineitsme −  I just want to point out he is disturbed for saying he cheated because you were going to break up with him. Uh no.. he cheated because he is an ass and you had nothing to do with that. All the best, you handled it all with such grace and class.

[Reddit User] −  “It also turns out the girl is quite young”. YOU are quite young, so how young is this girl?

speedycat2014 −  My first heartbreak was having my first real boyfriend cheat on me. And, he got her pregnant. I went from brokenhearted to relieved as hell in sixty seconds flat. Mind you, he was seventeen, so was she. I was fifteen. Once his girlfriend had the kid, he kept calling me just to talk. I finally told him to forget my number and try to be a dad.

FakeNameCommenter −  \ the reason he cheated was because he knew I was already going to break up with him. People cheat because they want to. They do it because they are selfish scumbags whose short term self-interest overrides whatever limited morals they do actually hold. Him being afraid you would break up with him is simply the excuse he told himself for his behaviour.. ​

Captain_Oz −  Definitely shows he needed to mature and a keystone of that is communication. Doesn’t sound like he was any good at it because if he was, you would’ve talked through the different feelings you were experiencing when you were in your initial rough patch.

Good thing is, you already know the benefit of communication in a relationship and will learn from this experience. He will know what good communication in a relationship should look like, while becoming a 23 year old father. I’d take your path every day of the week. Good luck out there, legend!

Do you think the ex’s explanation provided closure, or was it just an excuse to justify his actions? How would you handle learning such shocking news from a past relationship? Share your thoughts below!