My (33 F) roommate’s (29 F) dog is literally killing me
A Reddit user shared a serious predicament involving her (33F) roommate (29F), whose dog is causing severe asthma and allergy complications. Despite an agreement prohibiting pets, the roommate brought a dog, ignored rules, and created a life-threatening situation.
The roommate has been evicted and is supposed to leave by March 30th but is showing signs of resistance. The user feels trapped, unable to leave due to financial and family constraints, and is considering escalating the issue to company heads.
‘ My (33 F) roommate’s (29 F) dog is literally killing me’
I have allergies and asthma to animals. Dog allergies weren’t that bad in the past. I asked her previously no animals, the company who leases property has that rule as well, but she brought a dog anyway. For the sake of not starting fights, I just didn’t say anything.
My allergies and asthma have escalated to me having to be on steroids every couple of months for the past year. It’s gotten so bad that my doctor told me that something now or something dangerous can happen.
The roommate now has been asked to leave by the landlord by March 30th, they signed a contract saying she would do so. Now, it’s looking like she isn’t going to do that or wait until last minute. She’s also been fired from the job that gives us this housing.
I’m dreading this conversation, I know it’s going to be u**y. She has flat out refused to follow any of the rules the company had regarding the dog and controlling the environment either. She was a higher up so they didn’t kick her out right away.
My family lives far away and I have nowhere else to go. I’m thinking of bringing this to the company heads. Rules are obviously not being enforced and I could die as a result.. What should I do?
Tl;dr: My high conflict roommate broke rules of me and company by bringing an animal to live here. She’s being evicted and needs out in a few months but hinting that won’t happen. I’m needing insane amounts of medical attention just to stay alive.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
[Reddit User] − For the sake of not starting fights, I just didn’t say anything. You need to stop being a doormat and start advocating for yourself. They broke your agreement and contravened the lease. They don’t *get* to be treated with kid gloves.
They get to be told to get rid of the dog and/or GTFO. Stand up for yourself. This is – as you say – literally killing you. Don’t commit suicide by being polite – least of all to people who don’t deserve it.
[Reddit User] − So you legitmately might die and youre worried about raising it with people who can do something to fix this?. This is your life. Start raising noise loudly and constantly, they need to move you or her *yesterday*. Have your doc write a note, talk to the company, heck talk to your work – if its work related housing and she no longer works there, she needs to go
Finn_Finite − Talk to your landlord about moving units. Even if you have to pay a higher rent, the fact that your roommate is directly harmful to your health should matter to them. If they cannot or will not move you to a different unit of the property, you can and SHOULD use this to break your lease. Your living conditions are unsafe and stating there is a direct threat to your health, so you should not be liable for any sort of lease breaking fees.
[Reddit User] − \ For the sake of not starting fights, I just didn’t say anything. This habit is going to get you killed at the rate you’re going. You need to stop doing this, or at the very least you’re going to live a miserable life being trodden on by everyone around you.
Selfish, narcissistic, a**sive people can smell this from a mile away. Go to your landlord about the situation immediately. Keep escalating the situation until that dog is gone or you’re able to move into another unit. Do not let up. Your life depends on it.
ShirwillJack − Your health is more important than your roommate’s inconvenience. Once your health is shot, you may not get it back. It’s not pleasant to have confrontational situations, but your roommate is not going to take care of you. That’s something you have to do.
It will s**k. It will be hard. And it is necessary. If you feel you can’t do this alone (which is not uncommon to feel, btw), are there people you can contact for support? Family, friends, your doctor? They aren’t going to fix this for you, but it may help you if you feel like you aren’t doing this alone.
kittycathleen − I’m a severe asthmatic. I almost died of an attack in March, and let me tell you: it is not a pleasant way to go. Waiting for the EMTs to arrive while watching the number on my pulse oximeter drop and drop was terrifying. I was incredibly lucky to avoid intubation; they managed to stabilize me with BIPAP.
I’m actually going to therapy for the first time in years. It was a traumatic experience. Even talking about it now makes me start to feel panicked at the idea of it happening again. I’m telling you this because if you’ve never had an episode like that, it’s difficult to understand what it’s like.
You **have to** talk to someone You are literally risking your life according to your doctor. You are setting yourself up for suffering, and you need to take this seriously. I can see you already know what a bad situation this is. If you’re afraid of talking to her, talk to the landlord/your company and tell them you absolutely must change units.
Do you have a pulmonologist? If not, find one. Your primary care doctor is probably familiar with asthma, but once it gets this severe you’ll also benefit from having a specialist involved.
They’re better informed about asthma, and may suggest different preventative medications that will help in the interim. But the essential thing right now is to talk to someone with some authority and get out of there ASAP.
jayne-eerie − Take it to the landlord again, and then to the company heads. Maybe get a letter from your doctor certifying that living with the dog is hurting your health. This isn’t the time to be a doormat. If housing is part of your contract with the company, they should either fix the situation or put you in a hotel until the roommate is out. Also, is it normal for your company to let fired employees stay in their housing for at least four months? That seems really excessive.
schultz20 − People also need to realize that when someone has severe allergies to dogs it’s not a stuffy nose situation or watery eyes, it can mean not being able to breathe. I liken it to running a mile while breathing through a straw after smoking a cigarette (at least my experience). Dogs are not people and should not be treated as such.
I’ve been bumped from a Delta flight and spent 14hrs in the airport waiting for the next flight because, and I quote, “You have a problem with the dog, the dog doesn’t have a problem with you”. My sister also died from asthma and it isn’t something that should be taken lightly.
Your roommate did not care about your well being whatsoever and the dander will linger in the apartment for some time, and when an animal is introduced that you are allergic to, even mildly, it compounds over time building up. Take care of yourself first and I hope you resolve this.
aofnsbhdai − I’m sorry but you need this: pull up your boot straps and grow up. Your health and safety is more important than…. what? Being uncomfortable emotionally? Just sit her down and say “hey i know you’re dealing with a lot right now but [insert medical issues here] and my doctor says things need to change now.
rubberdubberducky − Your fear of confrontation is literally going to get you killed. I’d recommend getting a therapist to work on the skills of boundary-setting and confrontation; they can help you practice the conversation beforehand as well.
When health is at risk, boundaries must be enforced firmly. What would you do in a similar situation: confront the issue head-on, or escalate it to higher authorities? Share your advice below!