[UPDATE] I [24M] think my girlfriend [25F] is cheating on me

A Redditor shares an emotional update after confronting their girlfriend about suspicions of cheating. After a period of growing distance in their relationship, the Redditor asked their girlfriend directly if she had been seeing someone else.

She confessed that she had been talking to a man on Tinder for two months and felt no longer satisfied in the relationship. The girlfriend requested an immediate breakup and started moving her belongings out, while the Redditor took the necessary steps to protect their space, including changing locks and keeping the pets.

Despite feeling hurt, the Redditor is determined to move forward, focusing on career and family, and is resolute in not getting back together. Read the original story below…

‘ [UPDATE] I [24M] think my girlfriend [25F] is cheating on me’

[MOVING UPDATE]: She left an hour ago and got all of her things. She brought her friend, who was also my friend too, and they were packing her stuff. But also giggling like a couple of teenagers? All I did was sit and catch up on some emails from work, not paying attention to either of them.

After about 3 hours, she had all of her things in boxes. She tried to take some things that were mine, and I told her calmly that she didn’t pay for it, so to please leave it with me. I contacted the nice couple we rent our house from and they were extremely supportive and are letting me change all of the locks, so my buddy and I are going to do that tonight.

He is also helping me move my desk and electronics to the spare bedroom, since my ex used it as a closet and storage space. When she left, I finally saw some remorse, but I think she was just being nice to me because she was happy to be going to that guy’s house. She hugged me goodbye, and I let her because that’s my way of getting physical closure.

Whenever she hugged me, she would run her fingers through my hair, and she did it for the last time today. As she left I felt sad, but I also felt optimistic because I can now live in peace without carrying that burden of wondering if she is cheating on me. From now on, my life is just me, my family and friends and of course my pets. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. If anything else happens, I’ll try to remember to update. But until then, I’ll see you all around.

Edit #2: Wow thank you guys so much for the words of wisdom and support. To answer some frequently asked questions, since there’s too many responses to reply to individually I’ll post them here.

1. After this, I don’t have any intentions to ever get back together with her. She made it known who and what she wants, so I am going to put all of my energy towards my job and family and friends. Even if she does come crawling back, I will not have her number and she will have no way to contact me.

2. I wasn’t her first boyfriend but I was her first serious one. We got together when we were 19. I met her while I attended college and she worked at this restaurant just outside of campus. We were each other’s first couple milestones. Such as moving in together, getting animals together, giving a good part of our lives to each other.

3. I know there is better for me out there. Thank you guys for picking me up. For now, I will only focus on furthering my career and being the man of my family since my dad passed away in July. When it’s time for me to date, I will know. In time, I will find the right one, a great one.

4. With the suggestions of my friends and most of you, I am going to get tested Monday morning. I don’t think there was anything being passed around, but you can never be too careful. So yes, Monday morning I’m going to make sure nothing is wrong.

Edit: I appreciate the advice about how NFP is not a form of contraceptive, I get that. It’s definitely not something to do if you don’t want children. However before this cheating and sneaking around began, we were headed towards marriage (me planning on proposing for our 6 year anniversary in January) and wanting to start a family right away.

For us and the state of our relationship at the time, and specifically for my latex allergy, we were comfortable with doing that. We were committed to it and had no problems or scares during the 5 years we were doing it. It doesn’t work for everyone, so please be careful.

Please, guys, the last thing I want is to be scolded that I shouldn’t have used that method. I’m just looking for some pick me ups and kind words. Let’s put all that other stuff aside. Thank you. So update as of yesterday, I asked her how come she had grown so distant. She didn’t give me any sort of answer, so I just asked.

“Is there another guy?” I got her to confess she had been seeing a guy she met on tinder. She told me that I just wasn’t the one for her. She got no satisfaction from me anymore and that I was just a weight in her life that kept her down. For the record, I haven’t stopped her from pursuing her dream career, even though we sacrificed an income for her to do so.

I have always been respectful of her needs and wants. I like to think I have been a decent boyfriend to her. She asked for an immediate break up, because she was gonna move some stuff into the new guys house. I told her that was fine. But she had to get her stuff out at once. I didn’t want her to come back two and three times a week to get her things.

She wants nothing to do with our pets so I am keeping the cat and giving the dog to my mom, who could use some company since my dad passed away a few months ago. It’s really hard to see how cold she was. No tears or sense of regret. So tomorrow (Saturday) she is taking all of her stuff in her dad’s pickup truck and moving to that guy’s house.

I asked her how long this had been going on, and she said 2 months. It’s a little bit nauseating because we had still been sleeping together in that time. I appreciate those of you looking out for me, telling me to use condoms, thanks! But we were doing that Natural Family Planning, where she tracked her fertile days and all that, so we weren’t gonna get pregnant unless we actually tried.

I’m sad because this is a woman I’ve grown to love and essentially have grown with as an individual. I just can’t believe how much she’s changed over these past couple of weeks. Hopefully she finds what she truly wants and is happy.

TLDR- my girlfriend I suspected of cheating on me confessed. We broke up and she is moving in with her new guy.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

dicksmear −  lol she’s moving in with a guy she met on tinder after being with someone for 5 years? when she realizes the mistake she made and begs you for another chance, remember how you’re feeling right now

HooliganBeav −  Can you imagine being the other guy in this? Why would you get into a relationship with someone who is still living with and sleeping with her boyfriend and let her move in after so short a time?

jennszu −  You should get checked for std’s if you weren’t using condoms.

AlferSilas −  She’s scum. She met a guy in Tinder and after 2 mos of dating moved in with him. LOL she’s asking for a world of hurt, and she’s going to get it. Just desserts here, you dodged a bullet.

yourfavegarbagegirl −  when she comes back, because oh, she will, she may make a stink over the pets once you reject her (oh god PLEASE reject her). if it’s not your name on all the vets bills and electronic chips, change it to only yours asap. ideally, get it in writing from her that she is ceding full ownership to you with no future rights or claims. and good luck, man. you deserve so much better than this, and i know it’s out there for you.

[Reddit User] −  I’m sorry bro. That’s s**age and I can imagine how much it hurts. Ask her why she didn’t just tell you she’s unhappy and breakup like adults? Why cheat and hide and lie and n**lect her animals? (You dodged a serious bullet here. And THANK GOD you didn’t get her pregnant.) Remember the adage: “how someone treats you is a reflection of them, not you.”. May you both find peace.

AurelianoTampa −  Sorry you’re going through this. You’re better off now knowing the truth, but that doesn’t make it easier for you now. It’s really hard to see how cold she was. No tears or sense of regret. Well, that kinda makes sense, no? She’s already gone through any issues she’s had with the relationship and moved on. It’s fresh for you – it’s old news for her.

I appreciate those of you looking out for me, telling me to use condoms, thanks! But we were doing that Natural Family Planning, where she tracked her fertile days and all that, so we weren’t gonna get pregnant unless we actually tried.

Oh boy… um, please, PLEASE do not be this naive in the future. First of all… she was cheating on you, so you already should have realized you shouldn’t have trusted her. Second of all… NFP isn’t anywhere nearly as effective as actual contraceptives. I have a friend – devout Catholic – who practices NFP with his wife and they both swear by it.

They’ve had 4 kids in the past decade, which they explain as “God knowing it was the right time(s) for us, when science told us it wasn’t!” The human body is weird, and can human observations can be faulty. Use actual contraceptives unless you want to have a kid. Hopefully she finds what she truly wants and is happy.. Hoping the same for you, mate!

Wellman81 −  I had a feeling this was going to be the end result. So she is perfectly ok with throwing away a half a decade relationship for some chump she met off Tinder, you know what? Let her sorry ass go and have no regrets that you’re free from this toxic waste of space.

That just show’s what kind of a terrible person she is and count your blessings that you two never married or had kids together. Just remember, when her new relationship fails when the new wear’s off, remember this day and what you’re feeling now. Make sure that you block her on everything.

immapunchayobuns −  Natural family planning isn’t effective like condoms. Semen can hang out for a couple days, menstrual cycles can change for a reason and no reason at all. Please do some research and stick with condoms! 🙂

icontranquilis −  I’m sorry to hear this s**t, dude.. Two bits of advice:

1. STD test, asap. Who’s to say there aren’t other guys? And you don’t know how clean any of them were (or him if it’s just him).

2. When she tries to come back to you when they collapse, do ***NOT*** let her back in. Remember how hurt and betrayed you feel right now. Know that she had no qualms in cheating on you for two months. Know that she threw away y’all’s relationship for a quick f**k. This isn’t your fault, this is her’s.

Do you think the Redditor handled the situation with maturity, or would you have approached things differently? How would you cope with a similar experience of betrayal? Share your thoughts below!