[Update] I (30M) was planning to propose to my girlfriend (25F) this week but her father passed away over the weekend. I don’t know to help.
A Redditor shared a heartfelt update about proposing to their girlfriend after the devastating loss of her father. Despite the initial tension and heartbreak, they carefully planned a meaningful proposal that honored her late father’s involvement and their love. Read the full story below.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/oWFlt
‘ [Update] I (30M) was planning to propose to my girlfriend (25F) this week but her father passed away over the weekend. I don’t know to help.’
Okay so in my last post my girlfriend was being very aggressive towards me about not proposing before her father passed away. She stayed relatively upset and cold towards me throughout the funeral, but afterwards it seemed like we started to get closer.
That week was honestly living hell, having to go to a man I truly cared for’s funeral, while his daughter is mad because she thinks i’m not proposing, all the while I am but cant tell her right now. It sucked However, time went on and things started to get better. Two weeks after the funeral, early November, I talked to her Mom and she helped me develop a new plan.
I had convinced my girlfriend to take the whole week of Thanksgiving off, which wasn’t hard because she knew the first holiday without her father would be really hard. So I took her on a surprise trip (which was our original mountain trip just later). Our plan was to leave Sunday evening and return Wednesday in time to help her family prep for Thanksgiving.
So I decided Sunday was my day. Her mom took her out all day to help her get ready for our little get away (aka distract her). I started setting up my proposal. I first took screenshots of all of the conversations her dad and I had via text about the engagement and printed them out. I was actually able to turn it into 15 individual screenshots of conversation.
So I made them into a little book. I also included the picture I took with him the day I asked for his blessing and the two pictures i had of us three all together. I packed our bags for the trip and decorated the house in flowers and balloons so she’d know something was up as soon as she opened the door.
When she opened the door she looked shocked and a little confused. Even more confused when I handed her a book and didn’t get down on one knee. I had initially intended to get down on one knee while she read through our conversations but she started crying pretty hard and took the book to the couch in the living room,
where I just kind of scooped her up in a hug and asked her to marry me. I had to awkwardly fish the ring out of my pocket and we didn’t have the magical getting down on one knee moment, but through her tears she shook her head yes and hugged me, which I thought was even better than expected.
Once she regained her composer she told me how excited she was, but asked if i would mind if we waited til Monday morning to go to the mountains because she wants to show her mom and brother the book and ring. I didn’t care at all and we ended up spending the night at her moms house.
We left Monday and had an amazing trip to the mountains and we tried to hit all of her dads suggested proposal spots while we were there and snap pics (even though the weather was a lot colder than when our initial trip was planned)
We had an amazing Thanksgiving with our families and now we cannot wait to start wedding planning. She decided she no longer wants to get married next October and I obviously understood. Our wedding day is still TBD, but I couldn’t be happier.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
[Reddit User] − Awesome job OP. I love your idea for the book, I’m sure it must have meant a lot to her and her family. Best of luck planning the wedding and living your lives together!
[Reddit User] − As someone who was proposed to within weeks of a close parent’s d**th (my momma), *this* is how it can be done without trying to be a detached happy moment in a sea of sadness. I couldn’t think back on the (lack of) proposal without associating it with my mom’s d**th and a horrible time in my life.
You’ve made it so that it was not only a happy moment for you both, but a testimony to both of your relationships with her father and poetically ushers her into a new life without him, but with his blessing and his love. You’re a good man, OP. Thanks for making me tear up in the bathroom at work…
OneTwoWee000 − I also included the picture I took with him the day I asked for his blessing and the two pictures i had of us three all together.
Wow! You hit it out of the park! Amazing, so happy for you and your new fiancee!That book sounds so touching! And all the photos! Wonderful!
ZugTheMegasaurus − I’ve seriously never cared about a wedding or proposal in my entire life, but I was tearing up reading this. What a sweet and thoughtful way to overcome this awful event; I hope you two have a wonderful life together! Congratulations!
browneyesandlashes − Wow seriously how thoughtful Op. a moment she will never forget along with a keepsake of her father blessing your marriage. I would remember and cherish a moment like that always and I’m sure she will as well. Congrats on the engagement!
HotLeafJuice1 − NOW I’M CRYING. so glad everything worked out for you and what a thoughtful proposal. I bet she’ll cherish that book forever.
scarletnightingale − I remember your original post, this is lovely OP. She is going to treasure that book forever.
orderly_hopeless − Wow. My dad died very unexpectedly in February, and I’m getting engaged soon. I’d give anything to have that little book. You did such a great job.
Splatterfilm − Getting down on one knee is moot at that point. What a beautiful way to include her father in the proposal.
[Reddit User] − You killed it OP. That was such a thoughtful idea.
How would you navigate balancing a life milestone with a moment of grief? Do you think honoring the memory of a loved one in this way strengthens relationships? Share your thoughts on this touching proposal below!