AITAH for refusing to let my brother-in-law move into our guesthouse after he screwed us over financially?

A Redditor and their husband are at odds after refusing to let their brother-in-law move into their guesthouse rent-free. Two years ago, they lent him $10,000, which he hasn’t repaid, and they fear he’ll take further advantage of their generosity. While the husband believes they should help because “it’s family,” the Redditor insists on repayment or clear rental terms before allowing him to move in. Are they being unreasonable, or are their boundaries justified? Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for refusing to let my brother-in-law move into our guesthouse after he screwed us over financially?’

My husband and I have a small guesthouse on our property that we rent out for extra income. A couple of years ago, my brother-in-law (his brother) approached us asking to borrow $10,000 to cover some debts. He was desperate, and we wanted to help, so we lent him the money with the agreement he’d pay us back within a year.

Fast forward two years, and he hasn’t paid us a cent. He avoids the topic every time it’s brought up and even had the audacity to take a trip to Cancun recently. My husband and I had an argument about this because I’m angry he’s not holding his brother accountable.

Now, the tenant in the guesthouse recently moved out, and my brother-in-law suddenly wants to move in. He claims he’s struggling financially and needs a place to stay for “a few months.” I flat-out refused. I don’t trust him to pay rent, and honestly, I’m still furious about the $10,000 he hasn’t repaid.

My husband thinks I’m being too harsh, saying it’s family, and we should help him out. But I feel like he’s taken advantage of us enough already. I told my husband if he wants his brother to move in, he can either pay us back the $10k first or sign an agreement with consequences for not paying rent. My husband says I’m being unreasonable and cold-hearted. AITAH for refusing to let him move in without clear terms?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

NefariousnessFresh24 −  Kiss those 10K goodbye, and if you let that mooch move in, it won’t be “for a few months”, you will have a lifelong non-paying tenant. NTA.

OceanPetals36 −  For context, the $10k wasn’t something we had lying around—it came from our savings for a new car and home improvements. We didn’t have kids at the time, but now we do, and finances are tighter. My husband keeps brushing it off, saying his brother will “figure it out” eventually, but I feel like we’re just enabling him to keep taking advantage of us. I’m standing my ground, but now I’m wondering if I’m being too rigid about this.

elcucuey −  Nta. Your husband is an enabler. I wouldn’t let his brother move in no matter what. It shouldnt even be a consideration till he pays back everything he owes.

rasalscan −  NTA. They say burn me once shame on you, but burn me twice shame on me. I don’t know why your husband doesn’t take this seriously. 10K is nothing to sneeze at. Reading between the lines, your in-laws may have enabled a certain lack of accountability and continue to do so.

There’s a million stories on here about family members who are taken advantage of, and the rest of the family is like “oh just let it go to keep the peace.” I wouldn’t let it go. I’d refuse to see or speak to dirt bag BIL ever again until the 10K was returned, and I certainly would not agree to be put into a position to be burned again.

SnooChipmunks770 −  Don’t even let him move in WITH clear terms. He will never, ever move out without a full blown eviction, which obviously your husband will not support. NTA and keep your foot down. Lease or no lease, do NOT let that hobo move in.

No_Jaguar67 −  NTA your husband is just as bad. I’d pretend a family member of mine needed to borrow 10 grand and I’d take that money and put it in a brokerage account.

Altruistic-Bunny −  NTA. The trip is a big slap in the face. Your BIL has probably learned that it is fine to be irresponsible, there are no consequences, his brother will bail him out. Oh, you are totally going to be the one thrown under the bus. Couple’s therapy now! Your husband needs to learn that your BIL is not your child and what you give to him is at your child’s expenses.

Traditional-Ad-1605 −  My wife, God bless her, only allowed me to make a similar type of mistake ONCE. My brother needed “help” and I loaned him $600; not a lot but at the time, it was 1/3 of my entire savings. Well, he forgot about it, I kinda forgot about it, but my wife didn’t. The next time he came by it was a flat out “nope”. Not the AH. Tell your husband that before he thinks/helps his brother, his brother needs to do the right thing and pay back the $10k plus interest.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 −  NTA. Strictly speaking from a landlord perspective someone that already owes you money is a horrible candidate for a tenant. They’ve shown they won’t pay a debt. You’ve shown you wont may them pay. Also they shown they don’t respect you enough to pay you so they’re little chance they’ll respect your property and treat it kindly.

I’ve seen this happen twice in my family. One sister did it to another, and one cousin did it to one of their siblings. Same side of the family, so the tool gene is genetic. Each time it cost the older sibling a little over 7k to fix the home up after the little sibling left, owing them at least a few months’ rent. Op, family doesn’t mean you continue to recuse the same people over and over again from themselves. You helped your BIL once and you got burned why are you the only ones that can help him?

KIDNEYTH13F −  NTA but kinda sounds like your partner is an enabler. I’d have a serious chat with him, again, about that. I don’t know if I’d even let this guy move in even if he DID finally pay the cash back.