AITA for not getting to know a possible half sibling?

A Reddit user (35F) is wrestling with a dilemma involving a man claiming to be her half-brother. After her biofather walked out when she was 5, her paternal grandmother stepped in, providing support and love to both her and her half-sister. Following her grandmother’s recent passing, her sister and estranged aunt are challenging the will, despite receiving significant inheritance.

Now, this alleged half-brother, “M,” born around the time her father passed, has contacted her, but his pushiness (including requests for her home address) has raised red flags. The user feels no obligation to engage with him, but her family, including her mother, is urging her to connect, citing her grandmother’s values.

‘ AITA for not getting to know a possible half sibling?’

I (F35) had my biofather walk out when I was 5yrs old. Turns out my mother cheated and my sister was not his child. He didn’t bother with me after that. My paternal Grandma was so furious at his behaviour they became estranged and for some unknown reason my aunt took my father’s side and so cut my Grandma out.

My Grandma threw herself into loving me and my half sister, who she treated as her own. Even paying for us both to go to private school. My father passed away when I was in my late teens and honestly I felt nothing. Sadly my Grandmother passed away earlier this year. She left me the whole estate but did give (converted) about $80k to my sister.

This was not good enough for my sister who is challenging the will. My aunt has also come on the scene after 25years and is trying the same but I am told they have no claim. Now it gets weird. I have recently been contacted by a man, M, who is in his early 20’s and claiming to be my long lost half brother. M is saying he was born around the time my father died and he wants to get to know his sister/this part of the family.

He is being quite pushy in trying to get to know more about me. Contacting me on all socials, trying to get my home address etc.. I want nothing to do with this.

This has lead to my sister and aunt calling me an Ahole for not getting to know him, I expected this given the current situation but my own mother is taking their side saying I should get to know him. I am being told it is what my Grandma would want and I am going against her ideals while “taking all her money happy enough”.

My husband supports me, but has warned I am walking a thin line and could become TA easily as I don’t know the whole story here. I don’t know this man. I don’t think I owe him anything and frankly I find the timing and support he seems to be getting to be suspicious.. So AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Significant-Bobcat48 −  NTA. Everyone comes out of the woodworks when you inherit a large estate. It’s your choice whether you want to have a relationship with ur half sibling, and it’s weird that after ALL these years that NOW is when they reach out? Also why tf is ur sis challenging the will?

Flat-Building-9500 −  NTA u don’t owe him anything just cuz ur related plus the timing is sus af focus on ur peace and what u think grandma would’ve wanted.

Chilling_Storm −  No one can force you to connect with an unknown possible relative. That is your choice. NTA. I hope you have a great estate attorney to navigate all these claims.

Nymph-the-scribe −  NTA. While your grandma didn’t know of this guy who supposedly is your half-brother, if she had wanted something different, she would have done something different in her will. Your half sister got what she got because that’s what your grandma wanted. You’re not “taking all her money.” You’re accepting the gift that your gma purposely and specifically left you.

There’s absolutely no reason for you to get to know this stranger claiming to be your half-brother if you don’t want to. However, I would suggest saying that you need a DNA test to see if he truly is your half-brother. See his (or everyones) reaction.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he got offended and refused to do so, and everyone else said you’re wrong for not just trusting this random person you don’t know is being truthful. This sounds like an attempt at a money grab because your half-sister and apparently your aunt know that they have no claim to the will.

Go no contact. Be confident in the fact that your grandma specifically left you what she left you, and gave whatever she gave to your half sister because that’s what she wanted. Don’t allow them to b**ly, manipulate, or guilt you into things just because they want money. Tell them all that yes, you’re accepting the gift that your grandma left you, and you’re respecting her wishes by not giving anything to any of them.

If she had wanted them to have something or have more, she would have done so. Their jealousy and disrespect is their problem, not yours. Also, tell them that if they can bring your grandmother back to life, you’ll happily give them everything, but only after they do so.

D**th and wills cause people to behave so horribly. The reality is that you don’t actually need to deal with any of it. Don’t respond to them, mute them (I always encouraging muting people over blocking), grieve for the loss of someone who you love, and accept what she left you because that’s what she wanted.

mountainlife122 −  Nta never in any circumstance. If you don’t want to get to know them that’s fine. You don’t owe them anything. Your family are not supportive they’re bullies and I would block until it settles

cgrobin1 −  Half sister is not related to your grandmother, so the 80k is extremely generous. She should have no right to contest will. If you a hairbrush or something else with DNA from you grandmother save it. It is awfully suspicious this half brother suddenly shows up when there is an inheritance. Check with your lawyer.. NTA.

YearOneTeach −  NTA. The timing is suspicious, and if he’s being really aggressive or persistent in contacting you I would give him a wide berth. I guess if you really wanted to know if he is telling the truth, you could try to do a little bit of research, but I’m not even sure what documents he could provide or show you that would be proof that he’s telling the truth.

Thingamajiggles −  warned I am walking a thin line. This doesn’t seem to be a thin line at all. You have no obligation to make up for your father’s choices in life, which is what you’re essentially doing when you have to support relationships with the other babies he made. You don’t have to forge or maintain relationships that resulted from his runaway wood.

If your half sister’s other grandma or your maybe-half brother’s grandma were to leave them big estates (it’s just a hypothetical, maybe not practical), would either of them be lining up to give you a big chunk of money? Their motivations seem pretty clear. NTA.

Srvntgrrl_789 −  NTA. You don’t need to get to know a possible bio sibling that 1) you’ve only just heard about, 2) is a reminder of your father’s a**ndonment of you. If your family can’t understand that and respect your feelings, that’s on them, not you.

CoffeeSippingCat −  NTA. I’m so sorry you lost your grandma. Maybe she would want you to get to know M, but you can be certain that more than that, she would want you to be safe. M’s behaviour is strange, at best. You could simply block, or you could say that it’s been quite a shock to have this news from a complete stranger, and that you’re not ready for contact, particularly when it’s been frequent over a short space of time. Say you need some privacy right now. If M is genuine then he will respect that. If not, treat as hostile.