[UPDATE] I[24M] caught my sister[26F] trying to steal a watch of mine, and now my mother[51F] wants me to apologize to her.

The original poster (24M) provided an explosive update about his ongoing conflict with his mother (51F), who demanded financial support for her new living arrangements after he caught his sister trying to steal from him. Refusing to pay her rent or fund her new place, the OP faced intense backlash, including manipulative accusations and a dramatic confrontation.

After cutting off communication, his mother escalated matters by attempting to confront him in person, causing further tension. For more details on how the situation unfolded and the OP’s response, read the full story below…

‘ [UPDATE] I[24M] caught my sister[26F] trying to steal a watch of mine, and now my mother[51F] wants me to apologize to her.’

After going through all the comments(thanks for the advice!) I decided to send my mother an email letting her know that I will absolutely not be paying for the new place she made plans to move to, and that I will stop paying her rent all together.

I told her that she clearly does not respect me or the work I put in in order for me to be in a position to give her the money that I do. I also told her that I would not be financially supporting her in any way. A few hours after I sent the email my phone starts blowing up. Calls over and over again.

I still really didn’t want to talk to her so I ignored them all. A little while later I get a call from my friend Dave, except when I answer the phone it’s my mom. I found out later from Dave that she showed up at the bike shop he works at and made up some story about story about her locking her purse with her phone and keys in the car and needing to call me for a ride.

She immediately goes off on me about how ungrateful I am and that she is disgusted by the email I sent etc. She told me that it’s my “duty” to make sure she is well cared for and comfortable, as she is the reason I’m here in the first place.

The worst part was when she told me that if she knew I was going to end up this way that she wouldn’t have put her life on hold for the last 2 decades in order to have me, and that I cost her her job and my dad and a bunch her her life plans. I couldn’t even get a word in with all her yelling.

The last thing she said was something along the lines of “you need to have a come to jesus moment and realize how much you are hurting your mother. I have already packed up most of my stuff and have spent a ton of time setting this move up.

I expect the $8500 before the weekend is over in a cashiers check so let me know when you have it.” and then she hung up. I don’t think I have even been so mad in my entire life.

She pretty much just told me that I need to make up for everything she missed out on in order to have me by giving her money and making sure she’s taken care of. I called her back and she tried to start talking and I don’t remember exactly what I said because I was so angry but I basically told her to shut the f**k up and let me talk(but with more swearing and yelling)

I’m usually pretty calm and would never swear at my mom(I would never even swear near her) and I know I shouldn’t have said that but I wasn’t thinking straight. I told her she better find another place to live or pay her rent herself because she wasn’t getting another dime from me.

I turned my phone off after that because I didn’t want to deal with anymore calls or texts. I eventually needed to use my phone so I turned it back on and just blocked her number. I saw that I had some calls/messages from her but I didn’t want to look at them.

This morning I got a call from the front desk at my building telling me that my mom had tried get up to my room, but I had already told the elevator staff/security to take her off my guest list. Apparently she caused quite the fuss when they wouldn’t let her up.

She is blocked on my phone now so I haven’t heard from her today yet, but I expect her to blow up on me again for what happened this morning. I think she’s probably in denial and thinks that I will cave and pay for her new place.

I’m worried about what she’s going to do when the deadline for her to pay for her new place comes up and I refuse to give her any money. The move in date is pretty soon and I’m sure she has to pay it pretty soon,

I’m actually surprised she hasn’t had to pay already. So that’s going to cause a massive shitstorm. I’m really really worried about what she’s going to do.

Check out how the community responded:

LeatherHog −  Way to go on standing your ground! $8500? Jesus, that’s some entitlement there.

Tiberius_Imperator −  I’ve wasted 12 minutes of my life reading your posts. Without my upvotes, you’d hardly be one of the most popular posts in this subreddit today! You owe me! I demand you send me $12,000 so I can live in luxury for the next few weeks. Dammit! Respect my authority!

goldt33f −  You didn’t choose to be, you know, brought to life. Your parents chose to have you (or if you were an “accident baby,” chose to keep you). Being a parent DOES mean making f**king sacrifices to raise a child that you are bringing into this world.

It means having to put certain things in your life on hold. You’ve done more than enough for her, and she isn’t even thankful or grateful or considerate. You do not owe her anything. Go absolutely no contact. Secure whatever you have.

NotTheRightAnswer −  You need to slip your doorman a $20 for having to deal with that crap. Buy him a pizza, take him out for drinks, just let him know you appreciate him doing his job!

MissyRed −  You should consider getting a lawyer to cover your bases, to make sure that you paying your mom’s rent in the past doesn’t set some legal precedent requiring you to pay it in the future. Other than that, hugs. So sorry your mom is being such an entitled b**t and throwing a temper tantrum.

You’ve done a lot to help her (rent previously), and she is completely unappreciative and unreasonable. You’re not her cash cow. She can go back to supporting herself however she did before the previous year (before you paid her rent) or she can move in with your sister.

She is going to bad mouth you to the entire family, so consider recording her calls/texts/emails and pre-emtively contacting family for advice & help. Chances are that she’s done this kind of crazy to someone else before, and you may have a sypathetic ear within the family.

However, plan on her convincing extended family that you’re a horrible person, and have a plan to counter that (recorded messages).

The_Impresario −  I would also make sure that your employer/place of business is aware of her existence as well (I forgot what the particulars of your work are, if you mentioned that at all). I’ve read plenty of stories of people getting canned because some crazy SO/family member came around causing problems.

gingerooed −  You may want to closely monitor your credit. I would be concerned that she may try to commit identity theft or something, particularly with how obsessed she is over the fact that you “owe her.”

DRHdez −  Dear loooord. **She** was the one that decided to bring a kid to this world. **You** had nothing to do with her decisions from that point on. You are not responsible for her failed marriage and career. She needs to take responsibility for her fraking life!

You’re doing the right thing by cutting her off. Make absolutely sure that all shifts of security are aware she’s not welcomed in your home. Maybe buy some security cameras if you don’t have them already. God knows what she’s capable of doing.

Dr_Wh00ves −  Man ohh man, this whole thing is just so juicy.

monstersof-men −  Lots of excellent advice in this thread, especially in regards to informing your workplace and maybe a lawyer, but please make an appointment with a psychologist once this blows over. Hell, even in the midst of it I would recommend it.

Your mom just delivered a massive blow to your sense of self, in that she claims you were a drain and she sacrificed her entire being for you, and shifted blame for her failures onto you. It may not hurt now but when you find yourself in a dark place, on a bad day, or just a s**t moment, it could really takes its toll.

Talking to someone (which I am assuming you can afford) will really help you move past the insanity of your mom and sister, and also strengthen your resolve for no contact.

Do not be afraid to d**p professionals who say you should contact your mother again. They are not supposed to force you to talk to your abuser. **This is emotional abuse, and she is your abuser.** There is a psychologist out there who **will** listen to you.