[Update] I [30M] made a huge mistake/oversight, and really hurt my cousin [24F] right before my wedding. How do I fix this?

A man shares an update on how he made things right with his cousin, Molly, after accidentally leaving her off the rehearsal dinner guest list. His fiancée, Emily, took the initiative to call Molly, explain the situation, and apologize on his behalf.

Molly accepted the apology with humor, and everything went well at the wedding and subsequent events. The couple is now on good terms, and Molly is even attending future game nights. Read the full update for the details of how the situation played out and the lessons learned.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/eakMF

‘ [Update] I [30M] made a huge mistake/oversight, and really hurt my cousin [24F] right before my wedding. How do I fix this?’

I was still trying to figure out how to apologize to Molly for my oversight and make it up to her. I had pretty much decided to grovel at her feet, and had planned to give up my plate at the rehearsal so she could come and eat and not be left out, and was bouncing ideas off of my fiancee on maybe taking Molly out for lunch a few times after we got back from our honeymoon, because I really did want to repair the relationship.

Anyways, I was out running some last minute errands on Wednesday (had to pick up the tux) and when I came home, I found my fiancee sitting on the sofa, chatting with Molly like they were old friends. (They had only met on Monday at the family get-together my parents threw.)

My fiancee (let’s call her Emily) stood up and said “So I told Molly the truth about the rehearsal dinner, and that when I was going through the guest list to bring the numbers down, I didn’t recognize her name, and didn’t realize she was your cousin.”

Emily had gone behind my back, called Molly and invited her over to explain why she didn’t get an invitation, took the blame and told her how bad I felt when I realized it the other day. She even told Molly the truth about me planning on inviting her anyways and giving up my plate, because I didn’t want to hurt our relationship.

She had apparently also called the venue and (in her own words) “went bridezilla” to get Molly a seat. (Emily is the most chill person I’ve ever met, so her going anything-zilla must have been huge, and I’m almost sorry I missed it.)

She also invited Molly to go with her and her bridesmaids when they went to go get their hair/nails done as an apology for “her screwup.” Guys, if I didn’t already have a whole wedding planned, I would have eloped with her on the spot.

Molly gave me a hug and told me she appreciated me being willing to give up my plate at my own rehearsal dinner, but to “quit being such a whiner” and enjoy my wedding.

So the rehearsal and brunch went great, and I was really glad to have the whole family there, and was finally able to enjoy myself. Molly didn’t end up going with Emily and her bridal party because she didn’t want to intrude, but was grateful for the invitation.

The wedding went perfect, I married the most awesome person in the world and we all had a blast at the reception. I did end up confessing to Molly towards the end of the reception because part of me still felt guilty.

The only thing she asked was if the “Blame Emily” thing was Emily’s idea. I told her it was and I had no idea she was going to do it, but I was serious about giving up my plate to make sure she could still come.

She actually laughed at me and told me I was an i**ot, but I’d picked a good one. Anyways, she forgave me completely, even though I don’t really deserve it. I asked her if she was coming to the after-party (yes, we had an after-party for our wedding reception after the “adults” and “younger kids” went home) at our apartment.

She said Emily had already invited her and she wouldn’t miss it. (Which she didn’t. We all hung out, drinking and playing board games until about 4am. She kicked my ass at both Settlers and King of Tokyo.)

**TL;DR-** I married an awesome person. Molly came to the rehearsal dinner. I fessed up. She called me an i**ot. We’re good now. Molly’s coming by for another board-game night this weekend with our mixed group of friends..

**Minor Update to the update-**

So… it turns out “Molly” reddits, and because of the number of upvotes this got, it hit her front page and she called me yesterday to call me out on it. She was pretty mad. I think her exact word were: “Dude, did you seriously name me after your mom’s cat?”

So going forward, please replace “Molly” with “Princess Mollificent Bananahammock; the first of her name, Queen of Tokyo, Catan and Avalon, Lady of the Six Cousins and Protector of the Realm, the Unbothered, Mother of Pokemon, Breaker of Chains.”

Oh, and sorry /u/1Timer1. Apparently she doesn’t accept internet proposals on threads where she is named after A BELOVED SNUGGLY FAMILY MEMBER WHO YOU LOVE, BTW! She’s still coming to game night though. 🙂

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Dennysaurus539 −  One of my favorite updates ever. I remembered your post and this is a good testament that everything is fixable if you go about it in a nice, rational fashion. You definitely got yourself a great partner and a great cousin 😀 Don’t beat yourself up too much either, clearly they love you, the great person who went the extra mile to fix your error too 🙂

Fitzwilliger −  I’d tell you to marry that woman, but it sounds like you’ve already got that taken care of.

AlluringMouthbreathe −  You all behaved like mature and caring adults. Are you sure this belongs on Relationships?

wonderlanders −  Wow! I love me some r/relationships drama as much as the next gal, but it’s so refreshing to see people behaving like chill, reasonable, understanding, adults that don’t take an honest mistake as a dire personal affront that must be litigated and punished.

mutantmother −  This is awesome!!!!! I just read your OP and update. Thank you for recognizing your oversight and trying to make it better! I’m the cousin who gets left out of everything in my family and it f-ing sucks. I’m glad you and your wife are so freaking amazing. Molly is lucky to be related to people like you two!!

flavia_22 −  I’M NOT CRYING, **YOU’RE** CRYING!

troublehunter −  I don’t have anything valuable to add here, I just really like this post and your relationship reminds me of my relationship and my husband is definitely getting head tonight.

Unique_7883 −  Emily had gone behind my back, called Molly and invited her over to explain why she didn’t get an invitation, took the blame and told her how bad I felt when I realized it the other day.. Yeah, she’s a keeper.

Anyways, she forgave me completely, even though I don’t really deserve it. I was one if the people giving you “hurtful truths” in your OP. You absolutely deserve forgiveness here. You made a genuine effort to make it right, including confessing it was your fault and apologizing when you probably could have gotten away with not doing so. Good for everybody here. Congrats on your wedding!

mandilew −  This is a great update. Your wife and your cousin both sound like good people.

[Reddit User] −  Wow your wife is awesome. Great update 🙂

Sometimes, we make mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that counts. Emily’s proactive apology made all the difference in fixing this situation. Have you ever had to make amends with a family member or friend? What steps did you take to repair the relationship? Share your stories in the comments below!