My sister(f36) and I(f35) signed a 3 year lease. She got pregnant 3 months in. How do I tell her I need to move out?

A Reddit user shared their experience of moving across the country with their son and dog to start fresh with their sister, but things have taken a difficult turn after the sister’s pregnancy. The living situation has become tense due to boundary violations, strained finances, and the sister’s relationship issues.

The user is feeling manipulated and exhausted but also guilty about wanting to leave. She’s unsure how to navigate the situation, especially since the stress is impacting her work and her son’s well-being. For more on how she’s managing the situation, read the full story below…

‘ My sister(f36) and I(f35) signed a 3 year lease. She got pregnant 3 months in. How do I tell her I need to move out? ‘

I moved across the country with my son and dog to start fresh, and asked my sister to join me. We signed a 3-year lease on a house, excited to begin a new chapter together. Things went well initially, but after my sister got pregnant three months ago, everything changed.

The pregnancy has been difficult, with insomnia, stress, and thyroid issues. Our relationship has become strained, and we’re now constantly at odds. For example, my sister demands that my son and I vacate the living room and kitchen at 8 pm because she’s sensitive to sound, despite me needing to make dinner after work.

I’ve also been contributing $600 a month to groceries, but it turns out she’s been getting extra support from the father of her child while I’ve been struggling financially. She also allowed her child’s father to move in without consulting me, which disrupted our living space. The situation has worsened since they broke up, and he’s still here.

I’ve confronted her about the issues—using shared spaces, handling bills, and the guest situation—but she has avoided, cried, or yelled in response. She claims I’m abandoning her, but I feel manipulated and exhausted, and my son is starting to feel the tension too. This is not the peaceful life I moved here for.

I want to leave, but I feel guilty, like I’m abandoning her. The stress is affecting my work, personal life, and my son’s well-being. I need to move, but I’m unsure how to start. I know I need a couple of months to save for first and last month’s rent, but I just don’t know how to navigate this situation anymore.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Quiet_Village_1425 −  Have the guy take over your lease and leave before the real madness starts.

HatsAndTopcoats −  You never agreed to live with someone who treats you like s**t. She has **zero** respect or regard for your needs or your son’s needs. She is choosing to ignore your feelings at every turn. As soon as you possibly can, give her thirty days’ notice that you and your son are leaving.

In the meantime, do what’s best for you and your son, not necessarily what she has decided she wants you to do (such as changing your habits and staying out of common spaces).

FairyCompetent −  Are you abandoning her or are you prioritizing your son and your own well-being? When someone tells you you’re doing something wrong, examine what they have to gain from this narrative.

Your sister is manipulating you, defrauding you of grocery money, infringing on your reasonable enjoyment and expectations of peace in your home, and blaming you for it all. She is not a good sister, I’m sorry to say. Please go to the landlord, let them know she has moved in another adult who isn’t on the lease, and ask to be let out. 

Peregrinebullet −  TBH, I wouldn’t tell her until you have something lined up. Don’t allow her to steam roll you – No Baby daddy moving in, no, you will NOT vacate the communual space. If she starts whining, turn up the volume. She can pitch all the tantrums she wants, you guys just need to steel yourselves and ignore her.

If she gets aggressive, call police. If she wants to live with baby daddy, she can move out. Honestly, she will continue to be entitled until you no longer put up with it. Stand up for your son’s living space and tell her you are paying for the space so you are going to use it.

At this point, you can’t reason with someone unreasonable, so you just need to set your boundaries and enforce them. Why are you letting her steam roll you? Where’s your spine?

BriefHorror −  Talk to your landlords. First report the person she moved in then talk to them about options. Get a lawyer consultation. Just live in the areas. Don’t give in to her annoying asks. Tell her to wear noise cancelling headphones and get her checked for pregnancy induced mental health behaviors.

MajorAd2679 −  You made a big mistake by signing such a long lease with someone who you are very different to. Your sister’s demands are ridiculous. Speak to the landlord to be able to leave the lease. You need your look after your number 1, your son.

mojo276 −  Goodness what a terrible situation. When it comes to “you’re abandoning me” stuff, just communicate that it is actually her that has abandoned the way of life that was built. It’s like if you’re in a boat paddling down a river, that’s the way you’ve set up your life and you want to just keep doing that, paddling down the river.

Your sister is in another boat and has decided to paddle a different direction. You have stayed the course in your life and just don’t want to change that course. It’s up to your sister if she wants to continue with you or not.

You explain to her what you are going to be doing regarding the living situation and that if she wants to continue it with you then she is doing it your way, OR she needs to move back home. 

WheresMyCrown −  First, stop being a doormat to your sister. Tell her in no uncertain terms he cannot move in and if his s**t is still in the house at the end of the week youre telling the landlord she is violating the terms of the lease.

Secondly, its your house too, good for you standing up to her about the noise complaints. She doesnt get to dictate what areas of the house are off limits, communal spaces are communal, her problem to fix or she can move out. Same with the grocery and bills, post the bills and pay your portion only.

Only buy your own groceries and no more giving her a flat $600 (GEEZUS CHRIST) in money. I cannot fathom why 3 people need a $600 grocery bill.
And lastly, just stop enabling her behavior. She cries just ask her when shes done so you can finish the discussion.

She tries to avoid you or walk away continue the conversation. Honestly, I dont think I would ever sign a 3 year lease with someone I didnt have a strong relationship with and had co-dependency issues with in the first place

[Reddit User] −  There is a strange man living in your house. Your safety and your child’s safety is in jeopardy. He is out. Contact the landlord, and have him write a letter of lease violation.

NaturesVividPictures −  WTF. You locked yourself into 3 years are you crazy? Go talk to your landlord and let them know the circumstances have changed. Get out or sublet.