Should I (34F) leave my partner of 10 years (32M) because he didn’t buy me food today?

The poster (34F) is questioning whether she should leave her partner (32M) of 10 years after a series of frustrating events. Recently, she’s been dealing with health issues that require her to take medications, which have made her nauseous and picky about eating.

Despite asking her partner multiple times to help her with food, he repeatedly failed to do so, leading to her ordering food herself. Now, he’s asking if she plans to pay him back for the food. This situation has made her wonder if her partner’s behavior is a sign of deeper issues in the relationship.

‘ Should I (34F) leave my partner of 10 years (32M) because he didn’t buy me food today?’

We’ve lived together since 2016, a couple of years ago I decided to split our finances 100% because he put me into debt twice by using my credit card beyond our means and when I’ve told him not to. This includes separating groceries. He has always made more money than me.

He has a white collar job and I have a blue collar job. On Thursday I ended up in the emergency room and I’ve been on hydromorphone, ketorolac, tamsulosin and Tylenol ever since. These medications along with my pain have made me nauseous and a picky eater. But I need to eat with some of these.

On Thursday I asked my partner when I was in the hospital if he could leave work early to help me home. He said he couldn’t and I understood and went to the pharmacy myself. (I made another post going into more detail about that day). On Friday he asked if he could leave work early and did.

I asked him if he could pick up crackers for me because I was having nausea all day. He “forgot” and spent the night playing video games. When I begged him to get me crackers before the store closed he got mad but did go and get them before getting back to his video games with his friends.

Today (Saturday) I woke up at 6am because my coworker was texting and calling trying to get me to go into work for her. I said no to her for the first time. I then went to give my cat his insulin injection since I was up anyways and I knew my partner wouldn’t do it for me.

My partner woke up during all of this and I asked if he could help me get food today, and he said yes but later. Reasonable, it was 6am. He goes back to sleep. The day goes on, and on and on and he still hasn’t gone. I tell him several times that I’m starving and nauseous.

Eventually I fall asleep (these meds make me drowsy as well) and when I wake up at 4:30 he still has not gone to get food. I’ve essentially gone all day without food at this point and I have to be able to take this medication so I decide to order food.

This finally spurs him into action (he hates when I order food) and now he’s asking me if I’m going to pay him back for the food he’s about to buy me (about $15).

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

kmart279 −  Is this serious? This isn’t a friendship much less a partner you can rely on. Leave him, you don’t share anything anyway.

DrUniverseParty −  Yes. And it doesn’t seem like you’d be leaving him over “one incident.” Sounds like his selfish and irresponsible tendencies have been causing problems for a while. I don’t know how serious your medical condition is, or if it’ll be ongoing, but it sounds like you now have solid proof that you can’t rely on him when you’re in a vulnerable condition.

Do you really want to go the rest of your life knowing that if you get sick and/or injured you’ll basically have to fend for yourself the whole time? Might as well just be alone. At least that way you can open yourself up to meeting someone who’ll be there for you when you need it.

grumpy__g −  Wow. 10 years and he asks for the 15 $?. And he also doesn’t care? Come on. This is not only about that. You have way bigger problems.

SunnieBunnie12 −  Yes and never sleep with him again

lxzgxz −  My platonic roommate would treat me better than this, jfc

MagicCarpet5846 −  Don’t pay him the $15 and yes, leave him. It’s not about the food, it’s about who he is as a person.

UnhappyTemperature18 −  Yes. Yes, please leave this financially a**sive/irresponsible individual who is going out of his way to prove to you that he does not value you. He is willing to do this to you when you need him, what’s going to happen if you need him in a larger way? Run, run like the wind.

lianavan −  How? Just how do women put up with this?

ironburton −  This isn’t a relationship. This is a fuckedupship. Wtf?

fiery_valkyrie −  Girl, seriously? You should leave him because he’s a selfish a**hole who doesn’t care about you. Not buying you food is just the turd icing on the s**t cake.