AITA for not allowing my brother over for Christmas?

A Reddit user explains a tense family dynamic after overhearing their brother and father insult their wife. Now, with Christmas approaching, the brother is banned from the house, and the father—though allowed to stay—is facing the consequences of his words. The user’s wife refuses to interact with or cook for the father, while the father struggles with being self-sufficient. The user stands by their wife and refuses to intervene.

‘ AITA for not allowing my brother over for Christmas?’

My dad moved into our house because he’s disabled. My older brother stopped by one day right after Thanksgiving and my wife overheard them trash talk her. About the way she was dressed and how she’s “b*tchy”

My brother has been banned from the house since and my dad got a serious conversation about not gossiping about my household with family members or he will be on the street.

My wife is still semi livid at my father for saying those things so she refuses to interact with him or cook for him. (He complained about her cooking and why she was b**ch was she told my dad “that’s the food I made eat it or starve”) My dad has never cooked or cleaned for himself. My wife does call him pathetic but that’s because my dad is.

For Christmas my brother still isn’t allowed over and my wife is barely on speaking terms with my dad. I won’t intercede for him or make him special food he likes. His disability doesn’t keep him from cooking for himself and he’s been bummed out. I told him that is his own fault for never learning to take care of himself.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

BoredofBin −  NTA! Only if your wife is happy, will you be happy. If her cooking and behaviour bothers your dad so much, tell him to go live with your brother. Problem solved. Then both, your dad and brother can be miserable together. ETA – Thank you for the awards and the upvotes.

TheNerdHiding −  NTA, disabilities are not and will never be an excuse for bigotry and s*xism.

wase471111 −  keep your brother out of the house, and tell your dad to apologize to your wife if he wants to stay. Happy wife, happy life, and make sure your dad knows that. NTA.

zmar0519 −  NTA for the brother situation but might be TA for letting dad stay. Idc who you are if you disrespect my wife you will not be welcome in my house disability or not.

Individual_Metal_983 −  NTA. Firstly you are a rare beast here, one who has his wife’s back. As you should. Talk about a choosing beggar. Your father who is being housed and taken care of has a cheek to treat your wife so badly. Is your critical brother offering to put a roof over his head? If not he needs to be careful not to bite the hand which feeds him.

painted_unicorn −  You’re kind of an AH though for still letting your father stay after it’s been made clear he does not like or respect your wife and continues to make your home a hostile environment for everyone. It sucks for your wife to have to put up with someone that treats her badly and to have to make an actual effort to ignore him in her own house. There has to be some other solution.

Nester1953 −  I would be so tempted to pack up Dad’s things and drop him off at brother’s house, where the two of them can complain about your wife to their heart’s content, and your brother can take care of him. Your wife is really in an untenable situation here, expected to wait on a man who treats her badly and creates tension and unpleasantness in her home. Is there an alternative living situation for your father? If I were you, I’d be looking for one, and looking hard.. NTA.

Anxious-Routine-5526 −  NTA. It sounds like dad needs to move in with your brother. Everyone will be happier for it.

No_Philosopher_1870 −  NTA. I’ve never understood the perspective that demands that all must be forgiven, or at least sucked up, for the holidays, especially when people never stop doing their regular hurtful things.

ElGato6666 −  YTA to your wife for letting your father stay with you after what he said. Your wife literally dreads walking into the house at the end of every day because of YOUR decision to let him stay there.