Husband wants me to get my own hotel room on vacation

A woman (34F) faces an unexpected dilemma just days before a destination wedding trip with her husband (34M). Despite their strained relationship and recent separation, they planned to attend together—until he asked her to book her own hotel room.

She’s shocked by his refusal to spend time with her and hesitant to incur the additional expense. Their ongoing issues cast a shadow on what should have been a celebratory trip. Read her story below.

‘ Husband wants me to get my own hotel room on vacation’

My husband (M34) and I (F34) have been married for 5 years and we are going out of the country for a destination wedding in a few days. Today he told me he wants me to get my own hotel room. In January my husband moved out. He said he needed some time and space.

I don’t think a separation is the way to fix our relationship. The couple that he’s been staying with is the couple that are getting married. Last week I told him I was feeling uncomfortable celebrating the marriage of a couple that isn’t supportive of our marriage.

He said they do support us, that’s why they gave him a space to stay. Now he doesn’t want to go on this vacation “together”. He’s not going to stop me from going, but he doesn’t want to spend time with me and definitely doesn’t want to talk about anything “about us” while on vacation.

Anyway, the hotel is all-inclusive and the cheapest rooms are $155/night. After taxes and fees, for 6 nights that’s $1000. I feel like that’s an unnecessary extra expense to tack on to a trip we’re leaving for in 2 days.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Kikikididi −  I would not go on this trip if I were you. I think he’s preparing for the divorce and you should be as well.

throwawaygoodbye6969 −  girl some self respect and awareness are really needed here. he doesn’t want you to go, he doesn’t want to be with you, the couple he’s staying with don’t support your marriage despite what he’s saying to placate you.

do you *really* want to go for a week of misery alone instead of having a week to yourself sorting out your head? take the time off work, it sucks you’re losing out on money but keep your dignity and say you’re sick so won’t be going.

get yourself prepped for the inevitable divorce coming your way and accept that this is the end of the chapter whether you want it to be or not. sorry if i sound harsh but it’s glaringly obvious this will be a week of hell if you go.

Dear_Parsnip_6802 −  Let him get another room. You shouldn’t have to pay when it’s his choice. If he cant s**k it up for 2 days I’m not sure there is any relationship to salvage.

graybae94 −  To be totally honest you sound kind of delusional. I don’t know why you’re saying “a trip we’re leaving for in 2 days”. There’s no we here. I feel like he’s made it obvious he doesn’t want you to come.

I feel for you, this sounds like a tough situation. But I think distancing and focusing on yourself is your best option as it seems like your husband wants space.

despicable-coffin −  Redirect that $1000 & get a divorce lawyer.

Particular_Disk_9904 −  I would bet you anything he has a real exit plan already in place and plans to blindside you with a divorce very soon. This so called space or separation doesn’t even look legit, and it sounds like you are purposely being left in the dark.

Really he wants separate rooms and wants to go alone?? Sounds like he’s hoping you back out; I would not be surprised if he was relieved had you said your not going anymore.

Never do the pick me dance, it never ends well. This sounds super toxic and a ticking time bomb. I suggest you start putting you first and making your own plans right away.

Guitar1der01 −  Why is it not an option to take the flight, then stay at another hotel and avoid that whole s**t show. Invite your brother over for a couple days and enjoy being on the beach discovering yourself.

Sudden-Eggplant8065 −  I think it may be even more heartbreaking going there and if he’s ignoring you, who knows how he will act in front of others.

gypsymegan06 −  He doesn’t sound like a keeper at all. And if he that bad with money, he should find and pay for his own hotel room.