My girlfriend thinks I’m hiding something, and I am… her engagement ring

A man planning a surprise proposal finds himself in a tricky situation after his girlfriend becomes suspicious of his secretive behavior. Trying to hide the engagement ring and keep the proposal a surprise, he inadvertently raises her suspicions, leading to tension between them.

Now, he’s unsure how to fix the misunderstanding without ruining the surprise. Read the full story below to understand his dilemma and share your advice.

‘ My girlfriend thinks I’m hiding something, and I am… her engagement ring’

My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been together for about 2 years now, and we have had an amazing relationship. I think we compliment each other really well and she makes me feel very happy. I decided about a month ago that I wanted to propose, so I went ahead and bought a ring.

I have been planning a special proposal so I want it to be a surprise. As the date of the ring’s delivery has gotten closer, I have been increasingly more guarded. I haven’t been letting her use my phone like usual for fear that she might run into some of my etsy conversations with the vendor or see receipts in my emails.

In the last few days I had been going out to check the mail many times over because I was anxious that the package had arrived and she might see it before I did. She has made a couple of off-handed comments and I noticed her getting suspicious of my behavior but I played it off pretty well.

Finally, the ring was delivered today and I managed to sneak it in the house without her noticing and kept it in my office. Tonight, I waited until I thought she had fallen asleep and snuck into my office, and closed the door to examine the ring, hide it, and dispose of the packaging.

Just as I had finished with everything, she barged into the office and asked what I was doing. I lied and told her I was watching some videos and didn’t want to disturb her while she was sleeping. She read right through me and became very upset, as she knew I was hiding something from her.

She stormed off to bed and shoved off my attempts at affection. Finally I told her, babe I need you to listen closely: I was not doing anything bad or wrong. I was doing something good, very good, and you would approve of it.

There are cases, believe it or not, where it is right for a couple to hide things from each other. This is one of those cases. I am willing to speak to a third party, tell them what I was doing, and they will tell you I am justified.

She became more frustrated and went to stay in the living room. I tried to reason with her to come back to bed, and she said she was busy doing “her things” and she didn’t have to explain to me why or what she was doing…

Now I am lying in bed alone with a pit in my stomach, writing to you all, unsure of how to approach the situation. How should I smooth things over?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

blumoon138 −  Tell her you are planning a surprise for her. You don’t have to give away the ring, but make it clear that it’s for her.

j_pogu −  I disagree with everyone saying it’s a bad idea. Tell her most of the truth like this: I’m sorry I’ve been acting bizarre. It’s not fair to you and I want to give you the chance to decide how we move forward. This is my first surprise I’m planning, and I got you a gift that you’ve been wanting and I did not want to spoil it.

I don’t want ever want to see you worried that I might keep something from you that isn’t a surprise FOR YOU. So you decide, would you like to see the surprise I got for you, or would you like to wait until your surprise is finished?

As a person who’s been cheated on, your behaviour would send me into some crazies. But, a response like this would be incredibly beneficial.

BlueSparklesXx −  Acting sneaky could backfire. She’s going to be stressed out. How long before you intend to propose? Might want to just surprise her with it right then and there. It’s a change in behavior that’s making her rightfully anxious.

ScytheTheHero −  Tell her you got her a gift she’s been wanting, but you want it to be a surprise maybe? Idk dude, delete all evidence of ring shopping and stop acting shady?

WeaponX207184 −  Why didn’t you wait until she left the house to do all that? Mike Ehrmentraut would not be impressed.

Bookaholicforever −  Lying (even with the best intentions) to someone who has been cheated on previously is never going to have a great response.

wcobbett −  Come on. The size of happiness of it being a surprise (as opposed to not being a surprise) is much, much smaller than the emotional distress you’re simply watching her go through. The longer you make this, the more she’ll suffer, and even after you give her the “Surprise!”,

she’ll just feel more like a fool rather than getting to enjoy it fully. Would you let her go through all that just for.. for what? Your satisfaction that you pulled off a surprise? Come on. Show her the ring and maybe go on a romantic date to make up for the missed surprise.

blackcatsneakattack −  Yeah, you’re being shady. It’s sweet and all, but still. You’re being shady.

ihere4thememes −  I’d move up the engagement lol

Scary-Inspector-8315 −  Everything has a limit dude. No point in doing all this of you are just hurting her.