My (29F) Husband (27M) allowed his Brother (30M) to propose to his Girlfriend (23F) at our wedding after I said No. Is our marriage salvageable?

A newlywed woman shared her frustration after her brother-in-law, Ben, proposed to his girlfriend during her wedding reception, despite her clear objections. The incident caused her to leave her own wedding in anger and has led to tension between her and her husband, Liam, who admitted to caving under family pressure.

Now, she’s grappling with whether her marriage can recover and how to help her husband establish boundaries with his family. Read the full story below for more details and insights.

‘ My (29F) Husband (27M) allowed his Brother (30M) to propose to his Girlfriend (23F) at our wedding after I said No. Is our marriage salvageable?’

Last Saturday, I (29F) married Liam (27M), my sweet and thoughtful husband. The day was perfect—except for one major issue during the reception: Liam’s brother, Ben (30M), proposed to his girlfriend, Melody (23F), despite my explicit wishes against it.

Ben, Liam’s best man, has always been a bit difficult for me to get along with. He craves attention and often cracks awkward jokes. While I understand some of his behavior stems from being overshadowed in their childhood, his selfishness has strained our interactions.

Four weeks before the wedding, Ben announced his plan to propose at our reception. I immediately told him no, offering instead to help organize a separate party for his proposal. He agreed—or so I thought.

During his best man speech at the reception, Ben circled the room and stopped in front of Melody to pop the question. Furious, I stormed out. Liam followed, apologizing profusely, but I left with my mom, saying, “Don’t call me. I’ll call you.”

Since then, Liam and I haven’t spoken, and my family is livid. Meanwhile, his family is celebrating Ben’s proposal, flooding social media with pictures of the moment. Liam later emailed me, admitting that Ben and their parents pressured him relentlessly the night before the wedding until he caved.

He didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to add to my stress. Now, he’s begging for a second chance. I’m torn. I love Liam, and I believe his explanation. But his inability to stand up to his family worries me about our future. Can our marriage recover from this? How do I teach Liam to set firm boundaries with his family?

Check out how the community responded:

Pavlock −  So the bride walks out of the wedding during the best man speech. She doesn’t return for the rest of the night. None of the family has tried contacting you, right? And all they talk about is the proposal? You husband might be a people pleaser, but these people are assholes.

They’re unrepentant, selfish, and completely oblivious to the harm they cause. Maybe the marriage can be salvaged. Maybe your husband has learned a very important lesson. I really can’t comment on that without knowing him.

But that family… I don’t know. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because the son can’t stand up to his family. If you don’t think he’s capable of shutting them down, if you think he’s going to cave to them, then I think you’re best served getting an annulment.

ratherbesleepthanwok −  All I can say is be prepared for a lot of this in the future. Unless you go low contact with them. The brother sounds annoying, tiring and toxic. Or you could be petty and announce your pregnancy on their wedding day. You don’t even have to ask. Karma

princessofperky −  The truth is when push came to shove he sided with his family and didn’t talk to you. What did he think would happen? did he think that you wouldn’t be stressed and upset when the proposal happened? He may be sorry now because he didn’t think you’d actually leave him but i’m not sure he does deserve a second chance.

finianden −  He just showed you that even on your wedding day his family will come first.

s-mores −  You now know he will do this every time. Important decisions will be his side of the family only, if they want it. Imagine when you have a 1-year-old and your husband’s mom decides no vaccinations, sugar is OK, beetroot is OK, never mind actual research. He just goes with it.

And if you fold to the letter, well, they then know you can just be talked out of anything or accepting anything after the fact. “It’s easier to d**p a mama’s boy than to divorce a mama’s boy, but both of those are easier than trying to change a mama’s boy.”

Get the annulment, because it’s clear, concise and nice and legal. Also a lot easier, quicker and cheaper than a divorce. Also, a great check to see if he’s serious! Because his family will 100% not want this, so which is more important to him? A life with you or a marriage with you with his family’s approval? 

Nothing is stopping you from trying to fix the relationship, but he has a LOT to atone for and words only go so far. You don’t have to be married to work on the relationship! You can always get married again! Also next time get a prenup.

CuriousLope −  Are you sure you want this for the rest of your life? Your husband going behind your back doing things that you already said no? His family putting pressure? f**k it, this is not a excuse good enough for this type of thing..

what more he will do? name your kids in the future with a name that you didnt consented just because his family wants to?

JamesPhilip −  I’d get an annulment and then have Liam re-propose at Ben’s wedding. But during the ceremony. Win-win.

Jilltro −  I would move forward with the annulment, if possible. He betrayed you and then tried to spin it like he was doing you a favor. He’s proven himself a weak-willed, cowardly man who will put his biological family over his chosen family. And his family members are n**ty pieces of work for pulling this.

He’s not a horrible l**r. He lied to you when he told you that he respected your wishes to not have a proposal at your wedding. He looked into your eyes every day for a month, knowing what was going to happen and how you didn’t want it, and didn’t say a word.

Outside-Strategy-858 −  The fact he said “They told me it’d be fine.” says it all. If you stay, you would be spending your life with a puppet, not an actual man. The fact his family is busy congratulations Ben when Liam’s marriage is imploding says a lot about how he lets them treat him,

and by extension how they will always treat you. Get the annulment and run. He’s not worth it. He will never stand up for you and will always pick his family over you.

matchamagpie −  File the annulment now, decide if you want to stay with him after. Either he goes through the long journey of making it up to you and earning the right to be married to you OR you find someone who isn’t going to cave to family pressure and make a fool of you on your wedding.. I’d prefer you do the latter.