AITA for Leaving My Ex-Fiancé After he left me in the Cayman Islands on vacation?

A Reddit user (28F) shares her story of leaving her ex-fiancé after he abandoned her during a family vacation in the Cayman Islands. Despite having invested emotionally and financially into the relationship—taking care of his children, stepping into a motherly role, and overcoming jealousy issues—the ex-fiancé’s behavior and emotional outbursts ultimately led to the breakup. The user is questioning if she was wrong for walking away after giving so much to the relationship.

‘ AITA for Leaving My Ex-Fiancé After he left me in the Cayman Islands on vacation?’

My ex-fiancé and I were together for just under 3 years. When we first got together, he was in a tough spot—homeless with twin kids. I let him move into my one-bedroom apartment, even though it was a huge inconvenience for me. I rearranged everything to make space for his children and stepped into a motherly role, taking care of them more than he did.

Despite everything I did, he had serious jealousy issues. I never gave him a reason to be jealous, but he had a past of infidelity, so I guess he was projecting. Once, while watching Spider-Man 2, I casually mentioned that Jamie Foxx looked good for his age. That one comment sent him spiraling. He packed all his stuff—and everything I had bought for his kids—while I was at work and moved out. My friends still call it “The Jamie Foxx Debacle.”

We eventually made amends and stayed together for two more years. In April of that year, he proposed, and shortly after, I found out I was pregnant. We were both excited about welcoming our baby girl, but in my second trimester, I miscarried. I was devastated. While I was grieving, he said something that broke me: “It’s not hard for me because I already have a son and daughter.”

A month later, we went on a family vacation to the Cayman Islands for my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. My parents paid for everything—flights, the Airbnb, groceries. All we had to cover were excursions and alcohol. On day three of the trip, out of nowhere, he accused me of cheating while I was pregnant.

As awful as that was, the next day was worse. My family and I went snorkeling, but we ended up taking my parents back to the house early because my mom had a migraine. That left my fiancé, my sister, her boyfriend, my youngest sister (15 at the time), and me.

While the rest of us swam, the guys were having drinks at the bar. When we returned, my fiancé started complaining about how he “couldn’t even afford a haircut” (despite recently getting a promotion to $85k/year). I playfully joked, “It’s not like he can’t afford it… he just likes my haircuts better.”

He completely lost it. He yelled at me, stormed off, and disappeared for an hour. When we finally found him, he drove us back to the Airbnb like a maniac. Everyone in the car, including my little sister, was terrified. Back at the house, he threw a tantrum—slamming doors, huffing, and yelling at my parents. I begged everyone to calm down, but the situation escalated.

That night, he bought a $700 last-minute plane ticket home and left in the middle of the night without a word. Yes, the man who couldn’t “afford a haircut” managed to buy a ticket on a whim. When we got back home, I tried to hold the relationship together because I wanted it to work so badly. But eventually, I realized I had to leave. I weaned myself off his kids and forced him to be their parent again.

So, Reddit… AITA for leaving him? I gave everything to this relationship, ignored countless red flags, and sacrificed my own well-being. I loved his kids and wanted a future with him, but at what cost? Was I wrong for walking away?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

cataphractbeaver −  NTA. Should have left him after the comment after your miscarriage. Unfortunate for his kids but he’s not fit to be a husband or father.

Front_Rip4064 −  Info: why are you asking if you are TA?

Jazzlike-Bird-3192 −  NTA unless you consider taking the j**k back again. Honestly, you should have left it be after the Jamie Foxx Debacle. He’s not right in the head.

clementine1864 −  Hard to understand why you held on so long ,he sounds like an unkind and emotionally a**sive man . You can escape I feel sorry for his kids.

ShoddyIntrovert32 −  YTA, for staying with a toxic person for so long and still trying to stay with him after all he has done to you.

CarterPFly −  My ex-BF murdered my entire family, beheaded my pet dog and skull fucked it in front of me. My friends say I’m harsh for leaving him even though I’m actually now in protective custody. AITA. That’s how this post reads.

Plus-Implement −  I dated somebody like that and it was exhausting. Going our with him became a land mine I knew it would end in a fight. Him: why are you dressed like that, do you want other men to look at you. We shared a table with a couple in communal seating at a restaurant, later he was mad because I was flirting, not.

I went to the bar to get us drinks at the comedy club, I came back and he wanted to know what the bar tender and I were talking about. I was ordering drinks. I went out to dinner with my brothers and he called me incessantly until I answered, then got mad because he heard men’s voices, I handed the phone to my brother, he got all nice because he’s a c**ard. One cold night we were going to dinner, I did everything in my power to avoid a fight.

I wore nice black slacks, a turtle neck, and black flats. I found myself not making eye contact with anyone and not speaking to anyone. When we left, he saw a friend of his, we all exchanged “hellos” and a fight ensued on the way to the car, apparently, I looked like I wanted his friend. That night I realized he was changing me, I was covered in black from head to toe and I was not looking or talking to anyone. I wished I had left then, I stayed for 5 more months. I’m so glad you left, this would have been your life. Well done.

EmeraldEmber- −  I feel bad for those twins. Did you really just want to be a mom ? There’s much easier avenues. There’s single dads who parent their kids without having to step in.

Sverigeamerikan −  Sorry, but I find it impossible to sympathize with people who ignore/refuse to see red flag after red flag. He is clearly such an AH he doesn’t even merit commenting on. YOU on the other hand: RF#1 You’re attracted to a homeless guy with two kids (Yeah, that’s hot.)

RF#2 He PACKS UP and LEAVES over a comment about an actor in a movie?! (This should have told you everything you needed to know. How insecure do you need to be to take him back? I’d really like to know because I can’t fathom this). RF#3 His mind-bogglingly inappropriate comment after your miscarriage should have landed his ass back on the street. (But, no.)

RF#4, #5 #6 His tantrum in the Cayman’s, putting lives at risk with his reckless driving, then leaving in the middle of the night! (All over a throwaway comment about haircut.) And your response to all this? “When we got back home, I tried to hold the relationship together because I wanted it to work so badly.” WTF is wrong with you? You need help and you need it now.