My boyfriend (26M) is in a mood because I (21F) had a pizza after a night out. Do you see where he is coming from?

A young woman shared how her boyfriend criticized her for eating a pizza after a night out, despite her being active and maintaining a healthy weight. Their conversation touched on attractiveness, long-term habits, and differing attitudes toward diet and exercise. Read her perspective below.

‘ My boyfriend (26M) is in a mood because I (21F) had a pizza after a night out. Do you see where he is coming from?’

For context I am not a big girl. I am just a normal weight, I swim about 4 times a week but I am a bit of a foodie. I have a food instagram account and I like to go out for food. I probably go out for lunch or dinner weekly. I don’t count calories and I am not strict with my diet.

Last night my boyfriend and I went out with his friends and I came home early since we had an early train to catch in the morning. I got a pizza on my way home, I was a bit drunk and thought it would soak up some of the alcohol and I’d feel better in the morning.

I don’t go out drinking really regularly by the way so this isn’t something that happens every week, but I normally will get a pizza after a night out. I ate probably just over half the pizza and I shared some with a girl I met on the street.

My boyfriend got in about an hour after me and then this morning he saw the pizza box. He was in a mood about it all morning telling me he tries hard to be attractive for me and it seems like I don’t care at all. He goes to the gym most days, a similar frequency to how often I swim and we also sometimes play badminton together.

He isn’t ripped or anything. He’s a normal weight. I said do you find me unattractive how I am? He said no he finds me attractive. We have very regular s** (daily). He wants me to think about the long term. I said I would understand if he wasn’t happy with how I look now.

I feel like I do keep myself in shape by swimming but I don’t want to be so obsessive about what I eat. He is very conscious about what he eats. That’s it really. Am I missing something or should he get off my back?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

HotShoulder3099 −  Yeeeeeaahhh I had a relationship in which “concern about my future health” started like this and ended in me not being allowed to eat carbohydrates and having targets set for me for weight loss.

I was a healthy weight at the start, too, and by the end I had an eating disorder, I was wearing kids’ clothes and I was in constant pain from injuring myself over-exercising on no food and still not being allowed to rest.

This was more than a decade ago and I still find it hard to eat if anyone can see me. And I’ll tell you now, OP, even if you eat and exercise exactly how he wants you to, this man will not forgive you for ageing. You can’t win this one

Personal_Regular_569 −  Who taught you that love had to be like this? You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy. You deserve a partner who would *never* throw a tantrum about the *possibility* of your body changing. Your body will change many times through your life. You deserve someone who loves and cherishes you through every chapter.

star86 −  This guy is going to destroy your self esteem. I’m worried for you because once you have kids, he’s going to be really hard on you.

ThrowRAparty-133 −  Eating pizza does not make you unattractive. I think reconsider this relationship as he is showing you very little respect.

pamelaonthego −  What is he going to do as you age or have kids? It seems concerning that he’s policing your food intake when you’re at a healthy weight. I think this warrants a more in depth conversation.

Icmedia −  If I was dating someone who told me I couldn’t eat pizza I would laugh in their face and tell them to go f**k themselves.

valkycam12 −  A man like your boyfriend would honestly make me feel like ordering a large pizza and eating it in front of him. This certainly warrants a discussion.

Elastigirlwasbetter −  The fact that you start off with “I am not a big girl” is a red flag already. Because it means he shook up your self esteem enough already that your first thought is, that the problem might be on you and not on a man who tries to control your food.

The second thing I was wondering about is the daily s**, because that’s way higher than average. I hope this is decided by both your s** drives, not you giving in, because he pouts over not getting some. Read this on here way too often.

Do you really want to be with a man, who gets angry over a freaking Pizza? I know nothing about your relationship, but the only thing I see him coming from is trying to take control, which is usually unhealthy. Keep your eyes open for similar behavior and determine if there are more red flags or if this was some weird irritated moment where he acted out of line and out of his usual behavior.

morbidnerd −  If you have to choose between a boyfriend and pizza, always choose pizza

Suspicious-Switch133 −  This is not someone you can have children with or grow old and wrinkly/saggy with. So how much of your youth are you willing to spend on him instead of someone who wants to love you through all stages of life (and body changes).

Relationships often bring together different values and habits. Do you think her boyfriend’s concerns are valid, or is he being overly critical? How would you navigate this situation? Share your insights!