UPDATE I (32F) don’t know how to handle Thanksgiving with my late husband’s family now that I’m dating (30M).

A woman navigating her first Thanksgiving after losing her husband wanted to balance time with her late husband’s family and her new boyfriend. Thanks to open communication, she successfully honored her past while embracing her future, creating a positive experience for everyone involved. Read her uplifting update below.

‘ UPDATE I (32F) don’t know how to handle Thanksgiving with my late husband’s family now that I’m dating (30M).’

I got some really good advice about how to handle the first Thanksgiving after my husband passed, since I wanted to see his family as well as spend the day with my boyfriend Alan.

So I knew how much it would mean to my late husband’s family for me to at least stop by their dinner, but I also didn’t want my boyfriend to feel awkward or pushed aside. I’m happy to say he was an absolute gem and dinner at my mom’s was great. We played some games and ate a lot, then Alan drove me to my late husband’s family’s dinner and dropped me off.

I said hello to everyone and had a small plate (so much food!) then left after about an hour. My MIL was so happy to see me, and even though it was hard — she pulled me aside and cried a bit — I’m glad I went.

While I visited, Alan drove around a local park and played Pokémon Go, haha. So he was happy when he came back to get me and he had hatched a few eggs in the meantime. The next day we got our Christmas tree.

Communication with all parties wins again! Not a super exciting update but I’m glad I was able to make everyone happy and still have a good holiday myself. I know Christmas is going to be very hard but with the lovely, supportive people I’m lucky enough to know, I’ll be okay. Thanks again for your advice, all you kind folks!.

**TL;DR** Attended both Thanksgivings, boyfriend played Pokémon while I visited late husband’s family and everyone was happy so I was happy.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

skn294 −  This makes me happy, I’m glad you’re happy 🙂

[Reddit User] −  Yay! I remember reading your first post and I’m happy everything worked out for you! 🙂

mameshibe −  Nice! Hopefully he hatched some 10k eggs.

EntilZhaValen −  Does he have a Charizard yet? Please report back as soon as you can. PS this dude seems solid.

minks97 −  I’m glad it all worked out, and Alan sounds like a great guy! Thanks for the update OP 🙂

champagne-kisses −  That was nice and considerate of you. My uncle passed and his wife of over 25 years completely cut off our family. She moved a month after his d**th, got rid of all of his belongings and was never to been seen again. We tried contacting her multiple times but our attempts always go unanswered.

I’d love for her to be dating again and starting a new life, especially since she’s in her 40s but the way she went about everything was so cold. In a since our family loss two people. My uncle and his wife. So with that being said, try to keep in contact with your in-laws. It doesn’t have to be a daily thing but a simple call or text every once in a while won’t hurt. Props to you for handling the situation civilly.

[Reddit User] −  Good people trying their best and being open and honest pretty much always leads to decent outcomes.

jumanjiwasunderrated −  I know you’ve stated elsewhere that this is your plan anyway, but I also just wanted to chime in to say keep in touch with your late husband’s family. My uncle took his own life Christmas of 2010 and my aunt had a hard time for a while trying to decide if she could still spend time with our family.

I had a few talks with her about it and made it abundantly clear that she was just as much my aunt as he was my uncle. They got married when I was an infant, so I’ve known both of them just as long. Doesn’t matter that she and I aren’t blood related, she is my absolute favorite aunt and it broke my heart that she thought we might stop being family without him around.

She started to date a new guy a few years ago and he is understandably uncomfortable coming to our family stuff so he doesn’t always join her but I’m always happy when she shows up. All that said, I’m sorry for your lost and hope the rest of your holidays aren’t too bad for you.

idrathertakeabath −  This is wonderful! My uncle passed about 15 years ago of Cystic Fibrosis. My aunt and my cousins are still very close with his family, and spend some holidays with them.

My aunt has been with her boyfriend for about 10 years now, and he has slowly been welcomed into my uncle’s family over the years. Truthfully, they all just want her to be happy! So sorry for your loss; continue to spend time with his family because it will feel good for everyone.

Rogue_Mongoose −  Didn’t read original post but I’m glad I read this one. ♥️

Holidays can bring emotional challenges, especially after a loss, but open communication and empathy often lead to meaningful connections. How do you handle balancing past and present relationships during the holidays? Share your experiences below.