UPDATE: My (24F) boyfriend (26M) has a long time female friend who’s clearly into him and I don’t know what I should do.

A Redditor shared an update on her situation with her boyfriend and his long-time female friend. After receiving advice, she decided to confront him about how his friend’s behavior made her uncomfortable. He was supportive and agreed to address the issue, even texting her to set boundaries.

Although the friend tried to downplay her actions, the boyfriend stood firm, assuring the Redditor that he would no longer hang out with her alone if it made her uncomfortable. The Redditor is relieved and feels reassured about her boyfriend’s loyalty. Read the original story below…

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/wvSVC

‘ UPDATE: My (24F) boyfriend (26M) has a long time female friend who’s clearly into him and I don’t know what I should do.’

After reading the comments I decided to just bring it up with him without telling him what I want him to do, to avoid sounding controlling.
I sat him down and told him that some of the stuff that she says really makes me uncomfortable. I told him that I feel like she’s undermining our relationship.

I gave him a few examples of the stuff she said and done that I didn’t appreciate. He still doesn’t think she’s into him. He’s convinced that she’s acting this way because she probably feels like they’re drifting apart as friends because he’s in a serious relationship now.

Which frustrated me a little tbh because its clear to me that she wants him but being subtle about it. He said that regardless of her intentions, if her actions are making me uncomfortable. He’ll have a talk with her about it.

I was really happy he said that, because I was really nervous and anxious to see how he’ll react. I was afraid he’ll take her side. He can be a dummy sometimes so I was worried that he’d bring it up with her in the wrong way. Like saying “my girlfriend doesnt want us talking anymore” and stuff like that but he nailed it.

He told her in a text “Dude, I noticed some of the stuff you’ve been saying in front of my girlfriend lately and I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it. It’s mad disrespectful and uncomfortable. We’re cool, but just stop that s\*\*t”. Naturally, she acted all innocent and confused.

She was like “what? you know I’d never do anything that would upset you” “I think you’re misunderstanding” and stuff like that. He doubled down on it though. I could tell he felt somewhat guilty telling her off like that and I don’t know if he’s convinced that she’s trying to undermine our relationship or not, but I’m so glad that he had my back in this.

I’m honestly kind of glad this whole thing happened. It gave me a better idea of what kind of man he really is. He even said he’ll stop hanging out with her alone if it makes me feel uncomfortable. He was also, lowkey mad at me for waiting this long to tell him I was uncomfortable around her.

Safe to say that the best possible outcome happened. He really put her in her place and ngl it made me feel real good. All I could think of was “I WON!!!” lmao. Thanks to everyone for encouraging me to tell him because even though I knew that’s what I should have done I was still scared to do it for some reason.

I even thought about potentially just avoiding her for good. Which sounds ridiculous now that I think about it, because I shouldn’t have to hide from her. I guess I’m just not good at confrontations.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

[Reddit User] −  This sounds like a man who is prioritizing your feelings and your relationship. Quality boyfriend material 👌

DanMarinosDolphins −  I was dating a guy with a nightmare best friend. I thought she was into him. But I think she was just in the “girlfriend space” for so long because he had been single so long, that she was having a hard time adjusting to a new person in his life.

He also had horrible boundaries. We ended up fighting pretty bad, and I said some mean things that were personal and went beyond what she did. She took the high road and apologized which shocked me. I’d never had someone admit they’d done wrong before.

I apologized as well and we actually got close after that. Maybe it’s a similar situation for you and will end up better in the long run I hope. Either way. That’s good that your partner has your back. Regardless of her intentions or feelings, it’s her behavior that is out of line.

megs1288 −  Don’t look at this as an “I won!” Because you’re not 15 however, this girl is very emotionally immature and since they’re still friends I can almost guarantee she will find a way to manipulate the situation.

Do not fall into her trap of jealousy and one-upmanship.. Your boyfriend clearly respects you and the boundaries you want to set so put yourself at her level will not help

HPstolemybirthday −  I’m surprised she didn’t use that as an opportunity to confess to him, but she probably realized it wouldn’t go well at that point. Good for you OP, and I’m glad it worked out.

[Reddit User] −  This reminds me so much of that tik tok user who has the ✨chill girl✨series.

ElectricalDinner0 −  The fact that he wasn’t entirely convinced that she was being malicious but was still willing to tell her off for you shows how much he cares about you IMO. Sounds like a keeper, I’m happy for you OP. P.S Don’t worry too much about not being good at confrontations. A lot of people aren’t.

kiwidog67 −  For some reason, this feels toxic. Maybe I missed it (please correct me if I’m wrong, I am very open to hearing this out), but I didn’t really see how you needed to “put her in her place”. It sounds like there is definitely a chance she has feelings, but it also sounds like she was a great friend to him through a tragedy.

There is definitely a strong bond from that type of thing. I think it’s reasonable to question their relationship and speak with him about your concerns, but not be happy that you “won”. Sounds super toxic.

You are pretty young… you will hopefully learn through more experience that a good relationship is formed around trust. Trust you partner, and you will be happier.

[Reddit User] −  This guy sounds like a keeper

FiaTheArtist −  Girl, not the “I won”

SunshinePalace −  I don’t know. Sounds to me like what you’re describing in your last post, and this post, is a good friend that’s insecure about drifting apart when a girlfriend comes in the picture, not necessary someone who wants him.

I agree she’s obviously viewing your bond as some sort of threat to her bond to him, but that doesn’t mean she wants him for herself and is moving in on him. If that were the case, she could’ve moved in on him long before you were in the picture but it honestly sounds like it’s the emotional closeness that she’s had with her friend, that she’s afraid of losing.

As the new girlfriend, it’s normal that this rattles your feathers, but I’d still recommend you try to step back a little and do your best to avoid drawing conclusions. At the end of the day, it’s not a competition. He chose you as his girlfriend, after having been her friend for years. You don’t need to be worried.

Do you think the boyfriend handled the situation well, or do you think he could have done more? How would you approach a similar situation in your relationship? Share your thoughts below!